Reviews from

Could This be the One

Flash fiction club entry

26 total reviews 
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am so glad this is fiction! It did make me chuckle, though. You can find everything on Amazon Prime, just about. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
    Thank you, Jessi. I be appreciate you sharing.
    John
Comment from Mary Shifman
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, these guys just don't learn. I think there is a lesson here. Persistence is a good thing, but not if you're consistently doing the same thing and losing! Cute story. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
    Thank you very much, Mary. I appreciate your kind review.
    John
reply by Mary Shifman on 16-Apr-2023
    You are wlcome.
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a duo this pair are. I imagine they are identical twins that you have conjured up for this well-written flash fiction. A fun story. You draw us in immediately and we quickly read to find out what's next.

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
    Thank you so much, Ginda. I appreciate your kind review.
    John
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hopefully this might be the only thing Amazon isn't carrying. It these brothers do happen to acquire this bacteria from some source it is likely to be their last "get rich quick" scheme. I've actually heard of midis bacteria abut I missed the part about them producing gold. Cute story.

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
    It?s in the club challenge.
    Thank you for resting and sharing.
    As always, much appreciated.
    John
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great story, John. The big-time losers are at it again. It's like being a compulsive gambler with all their get-rich-quick schemes. They just never learn. This was a humorous and nostalgic look back at all those wacky things that were once popular. Thanks for the memories! Jim

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
    Thanks, Jim for the great review! Much appreciated.
    John
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This flash fiction has great potential, but at the moment it still seems slightly forced. I think it could benefit from a last slight polish
- to remove some of the many examples of previously tried failures (less is best sometimes)
- to tightem up the ending (the relevance of talking about them buying cars isn't clear)
kay

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
    Thank you, Kay. I understand and appreciate the points you referred to.
    John
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

LOL, some people do just that! There are so many 'get rich quick' ideas out there, and none come to fruition. Well, not many do. I really liked this one, John, the story was fun to read and you worked the 'Midas Bacteria' event for the club entry so well! Well done! :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
    Thank you, Sandra. I appreciate your sharing in this great review.
    John
Comment from lyenochka
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Love your entry for the club, John! This was entertaining because you not only incorporated human greed to the the Midas bacterium but you also gave us a whirlwind history of those fads that made millions briefly for some inventor! Great job!

I think the following two lines were meant to be together:
Sal was still hesitant. "I don't know, Vin.
Sounds risky, no?"

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
    Wow, a sixer! Thank you, Helen. I?ll look at the correction when I?m done here!
    You made my day.
    John
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You can't criticise these guys for trying can you as they have enthusiasm for every scheme that does not work! Ha ha ha, true entrepreneurs here John, a fun post, I was entertained, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
    Thank you so much, Dolly.
    I?m glad you enjoyed this post.
    John
Comment from Ben Colder
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Reminds me of someone I knew. Always, as W.C.Fields always said. "a sucker born every minute. These guys never hit a lick, so sad. Good one, John. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
    Ha. Thanks, Ben. I appreciate your review!
    John