Ancient Art of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Undone "A compilation of poems
17 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A dramatic and emotional Senryu presentation about the 'come here, go away man'. Unfortunately some people always go for the same personalities, until they find the strength to say - get lost.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
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A dramatic and emotional Senryu presentation about the 'come here, go away man'. Unfortunately some people always go for the same personalities, until they find the strength to say - get lost.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
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Thank you pearl. I'm so glad you liked it and your reviews is great and you have really good insight. Thank you again for your time and effort have a great day!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Senryu Poetry writing prompt contest.
Couple of suggestions
Don't use cap letters, and don't use punctuation marks. Your dash goes after the first line
sorrow in torrents ---
melancholic soul recoils
from the prince of pain
I like the presentation too. Concrete images easy to visualize.
Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
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Excellent entry for the Senryu Poetry writing prompt contest.
Couple of suggestions
Don't use cap letters, and don't use punctuation marks. Your dash goes after the first line
sorrow in torrents ---
melancholic soul recoils
from the prince of pain
I like the presentation too. Concrete images easy to visualize.
Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 14-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much Gypsy! i'm taking your comments too heart made the corrections. I appreciate your review and all your help very much!
Thank you again have a great day!
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Oh goodness, your poem sounds like a roller coaster. I wonder if there is a prince of pain. Your author notes defined the words very well. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
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Oh goodness, your poem sounds like a roller coaster. I wonder if there is a prince of pain. Your author notes defined the words very well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
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Thank you rosemary it's so glad you like it. Thank you so much for your kind review it and for your tongue. I'm always appreciative of any comments made. I hope you have the best of days thanks again
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do we speak with our tongue? Never thought of it that way.
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is the tongue, the prince of pain in this poem?
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No This was a person who lived his life with fear. Unfortunately a distaste for women in particular and that it's too high In mountain to climb.
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No This was a person who lived his life with fear. Unfortunately a distaste for women in particular and that it's too high In mountain to climb.
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No This was a person who lived his life with fear. Unfortunately a distaste for women in particular and that it's too high In mountain to climb.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This sounds like a nightmare relationship and I have known men like that and you are worthy of better, in the end this never works and your Senryu is full of painful emotion here, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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This sounds like a nightmare relationship and I have known men like that and you are worthy of better, in the end this never works and your Senryu is full of painful emotion here, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Thank you Dolly and for your amazing insight I am appreciative. Oh yeah I kicked that guy to the curb!
Thank you for your review and for your time. Always appreciated by me have a great evening!
Comment from shelley kaye
i kept think of sting's song 'king of pain' while reading this
great senryu!
thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
shelley :)
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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i kept think of sting's song 'king of pain' while reading this
great senryu!
thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
shelley :)
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Thank you Shelly. I believe that was my 1st time attempting one. However? It's very. Much like the regular haiku. I thank you for your kind words for your review and for your time always welcome with me and you know that anything you? Have to. Say? Well not be rejected by myself so haven't said that thank you again hope. You haven't awesome afternoon!
Comment from Ginda Simpson
An expertly crafted Senryu with your clear message. Time to move on indeed. I like the alliteration in Prince of Pain. That sums it up and works well.
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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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An expertly crafted Senryu with your clear message. Time to move on indeed. I like the alliteration in Prince of Pain. That sums it up and works well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Wow thank you again for your amazing review and for your kind comment and your observations always welcome. I'm also very good taking constructive criticism if there's anything that needs to be changed. I'm happy here for any ideas that people have. I'm all ears having said that I'm very pleased with your with your assessment and give me a nice smile so have a great day.!
Comment from Mintybee
This poem pack a lot of emotion into a small syllable count. Your word choices are strong, bold, evocative. The visual you chose highlights the sorrow. The title catches the reader's attention.
Mintybee
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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This poem pack a lot of emotion into a small syllable count. Your word choices are strong, bold, evocative. The visual you chose highlights the sorrow. The title catches the reader's attention.
Mintybee
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much!. Glad you enjoyed it and also glad for your review and for your kind comments! And for your insight too!
I hope the sun is shining where you are and you're having a great afternoon!