Love and Loss
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Coffee For Men"NaPoWriMo April Poetry Contest
18 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I have a very sweet tooth, but hate my tea and coffee sweet, and I never add cream. Milk, but not cream. Your man sound hunky, and why shouldn't he have a liking for his special treat in a very sweet coffee! Lol. Well done and good luck in the contest, :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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I have a very sweet tooth, but hate my tea and coffee sweet, and I never add cream. Milk, but not cream. Your man sound hunky, and why shouldn't he have a liking for his special treat in a very sweet coffee! Lol. Well done and good luck in the contest, :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 01-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Sandra! I couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease him with this prompt. lol
<3
Comment from Terry Broxson
I do know a few ladies who might say, "All you got to complain about is how he takes his coffee?" I do realize you are teasing him in this humor story for this contest, but if you win, will he think his privacy has been violated?
If so, take him to Starbucks, and bring a can of whipped cream. Excellent writing. and good luck. Terry.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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I do know a few ladies who might say, "All you got to complain about is how he takes his coffee?" I do realize you are teasing him in this humor story for this contest, but if you win, will he think his privacy has been violated?
If so, take him to Starbucks, and bring a can of whipped cream. Excellent writing. and good luck. Terry.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Haha thank you, Terry! When I saw the prompt, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease him...
You understand. ;)
Thanks so much for your review!
<3
Comment from jmdg1954
That is an awfully sweet cup of jo if I had to say so.
Way to sweet for me as I use no sugar in my coffee.
Your poem was detailed, comical and told the light and sweet story as directed for the contest.
Nicely done.
John
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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That is an awfully sweet cup of jo if I had to say so.
Way to sweet for me as I use no sugar in my coffee.
Your poem was detailed, comical and told the light and sweet story as directed for the contest.
Nicely done.
John
Comment Written 01-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Thank you, John! Any excuse to tease him a little! ;)
<3
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I hope you enjoyed writing this piece as I did reading it. There's very little else to say so what follows is my attempt to meet the requirements of FanStory's CEC. They are sticklers that 150 characters be used regardless of the form written.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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I hope you enjoyed writing this piece as I did reading it. There's very little else to say so what follows is my attempt to meet the requirements of FanStory's CEC. They are sticklers that 150 characters be used regardless of the form written.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Haha I enjoyed this review even more
Comment from Wendy G
Lol. If he's the right guy, then don't worry about his sweet coffee - he's still a man! Just continue to tease him about it. I liked your good -humoured poem, and wishe you well for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Lol. If he's the right guy, then don't worry about his sweet coffee - he's still a man! Just continue to tease him about it. I liked your good -humoured poem, and wishe you well for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 31-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much, Wendy!
Comment from lancellot
This is nice. But Some lines may fall a bit short. I think you have a good theme and the notes attributing this to your husband will garner many voters (they like marriage tales and poems). I would recommend trying to incorporate that this is your husband into the poem. This would give you a boost with the members (trust me).
Now, some lines to work on:
Tall, dark and handsome looks too- all that and he reads books too
- you can rhyme with the same word, but should you?
There is this little thing though, that did confuse me to know
- This rhyme seems forced.
His deep man voice ordering- extra sugar, extra cream
- The rhyme scheme fell in this line.
Really it's just a reason, I get to mock and tease him
The rhyme fell off here too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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This is nice. But Some lines may fall a bit short. I think you have a good theme and the notes attributing this to your husband will garner many voters (they like marriage tales and poems). I would recommend trying to incorporate that this is your husband into the poem. This would give you a boost with the members (trust me).
Now, some lines to work on:
Tall, dark and handsome looks too- all that and he reads books too
- you can rhyme with the same word, but should you?
There is this little thing though, that did confuse me to know
- This rhyme seems forced.
His deep man voice ordering- extra sugar, extra cream
- The rhyme scheme fell in this line.
Really it's just a reason, I get to mock and tease him
The rhyme fell off here too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Thank you for your review. Upon reading your comments, I revisited and revised significantly... I appreciate you taking the time to provide helpful suggestions and constructive feedback, as I am much happier with it now! Thanks again.
Comment from Mary Shifman
Your poem made me laugh. Most men I know don't go for the "yuppie" coffee as my husband used to call it, although he did add sugar to his. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Your poem made me laugh. Most men I know don't go for the "yuppie" coffee as my husband used to call it, although he did add sugar to his. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Mary! I appreciate that!
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You are very welcome.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
nicely done you nailed the form. I like the contrast between a macho man who has a sweet tooth and enjoys his coffee light and sweet in contrast to the rough touch image he projects
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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nicely done you nailed the form. I like the contrast between a macho man who has a sweet tooth and enjoys his coffee light and sweet in contrast to the rough touch image he projects
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Thanks so much, truly appreciated!