The Trickle
How quickly a trickle can grow.27 total reviews
Comment from Lea Tonin1
What a lovely and spectacular poem! I really great contest submission I think you have a winner here
I find no issue with your sentence structure your subject matter you spelling, punctuation or anything else all that is spot on.
I can offer no cookie or subject for change since it's already great the way. It is good luck in the contest hope you have a great day!
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
  |
What a lovely and spectacular poem! I really great contest submission I think you have a winner here
I find no issue with your sentence structure your subject matter you spelling, punctuation or anything else all that is spot on.
I can offer no cookie or subject for change since it's already great the way. It is good luck in the contest hope you have a great day!
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
-
Lea,
Once again thanks for taking time to do a review on my poem. Glad you enjoyed it . Lets see how it goes in the contest.
Take care and have a great day
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Aussie
Please describe your rhyming scheme, it looks like it needs reading by you. I liked the tale of the beginnings of a river, even the picture looks like a fish gasping for air! K xx
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
|
Please describe your rhyming scheme, it looks like it needs reading by you. I liked the tale of the beginnings of a river, even the picture looks like a fish gasping for air! K xx
Comment Written 18-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
-
Thanks for taking the time to review my poem. It is much appreciated. The ryhming scheme is essentially a Quatrain where the second and fourth lines ryhme. It is quite compatible for use in a lot of poems.
Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from royowen
Your brilliant poem reminded me of a scene I viewed in the Lake District in England, (such a wonderful example of water in abundance) I saw a waterfall gushing into a biggish lake, which in turn flowed into a second and third lake, which turned into a stream, which reminded me of the Dead Sea, which receives but does not give, no life in it, which, of course, speaks of generosity and giving, the universe runs on it. Which is actually the message of the gospel and the sign of infinity. Beautifully written Barry, blessings Roy
Suggestion, : and then began to swell. 2: pursuance of a dream.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
|
Your brilliant poem reminded me of a scene I viewed in the Lake District in England, (such a wonderful example of water in abundance) I saw a waterfall gushing into a biggish lake, which in turn flowed into a second and third lake, which turned into a stream, which reminded me of the Dead Sea, which receives but does not give, no life in it, which, of course, speaks of generosity and giving, the universe runs on it. Which is actually the message of the gospel and the sign of infinity. Beautifully written Barry, blessings Roy
Suggestion, : and then began to swell. 2: pursuance of a dream.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
-
Roy, thanks for your review and glad it brings back memories for you. I also like your suggestions. I will seriously consider them. All the best to you and your family. Have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
-
Welcome
Comment from bob cullen
This is so good. A near perfect poem describing the life of a trickle. You have tracked its life from a tiny trickle to its eventual growth into an ocean. A very cleverly created piece of work. Worth six stars, but I'm out.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
|
This is so good. A near perfect poem describing the life of a trickle. You have tracked its life from a tiny trickle to its eventual growth into an ocean. A very cleverly created piece of work. Worth six stars, but I'm out.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
-
Bob, no worries about being out of six stars. Just glad you enjoyed it and took the time to do a review. Yes, water is the elixir of life and it takes many forms. You have a great day and take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Raul1
A skilled poem. You have made good use of your rhyming words. I don't see any mistakes. It flows fluidly and it is concise. Exceptional work! I enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
 |
A skilled poem. You have made good use of your rhyming words. I don't see any mistakes. It flows fluidly and it is concise. Exceptional work! I enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
-
Raul, Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. And six stars. Always welcome.
Water is certainly the elixir of life. You have a great day and take care
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Dang it. I wish I had a six to bestow. This was a great poem. You started with the tiniest about of water and ended with the ocean. Like a ripple as you put it. The imagery was awesome. The rhyming was great. I really enjoyed this. Thank you for posting. Gretchen
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
|
Dang it. I wish I had a six to bestow. This was a great poem. You started with the tiniest about of water and ended with the ocean. Like a ripple as you put it. The imagery was awesome. The rhyming was great. I really enjoyed this. Thank you for posting. Gretchen
Comment Written 16-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
-
Gretchen,
No worries about not having a six. The fact you took time to read and review my poem is certainly enough reward for me. Super glad you enjoyed it. Lets see what happens in the competition.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
nicely done poem showing the evolution of a river from a just a twinkle of water, from a underground well, to eventually a lake and then a river leading to the ocean
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
|
nicely done poem showing the evolution of a river from a just a twinkle of water, from a underground well, to eventually a lake and then a river leading to the ocean
Comment Written 16-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
-
Jake,
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes, water is the elixir of life. Have a great day and take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
This is a really delightful poem. I love the travels of the trickle through all its stages till it is swallowed up by the ocean. Your rhythm and rhyme are very well done. This should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2023
|
This is a really delightful poem. I love the travels of the trickle through all its stages till it is swallowed up by the ocean. Your rhythm and rhyme are very well done. This should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2023
-
Verna, thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it . Water is the elixir of life.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Barry Penfold
Comment from Ginda Simpson
For its content and for rhyming this surely is a winner. No pun intended, well maybe, your words simply flow. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2023
|
For its content and for rhyming this surely is a winner. No pun intended, well maybe, your words simply flow. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2023
-
Ginda,
Wow, thanks for the six star rating. Glad you enjoyed the poem. Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from kahpot
The feeling of water transforming from one source to another and then being drowned out is very moving, your rhyme is excellent, and the poems flow is wonderful, very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2023
|
The feeling of water transforming from one source to another and then being drowned out is very moving, your rhyme is excellent, and the poems flow is wonderful, very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2023
-
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it and lets hope it does well. Keep writing and have a good day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
