Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Even though sci-fi films keep saying the time will come in a few generations where the machine will make us redundant, it is actually happening now. I thought your poem very musical, I could see that put to m usic as the assembly line is moving along. It would become an instant hit! the repeating lines are fabulous. Well done, Estory, :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and for your perspective on my strange little piece. I had fun writing it, as I often do with these more musical exercises. estory

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I heard the machines clanging here and repeating the same sound over and over as the manufacturing of goods churns out the same item, but of course it all needs electricity! Much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your words of support for my strange little style in this poem. estory

Comment from Sarah Das Gupta

Excellent

You have certainly succeeded! The repetition definitely suggests the noise and rhythm of the machines as well as the 'soulless' aspect. In some ways it may be better that fewer people have to work on these lines!

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your words of support for my strange little poem. estory

reply by Sarah Das Gupta on 03-Mar-2023

Best wishes from Cambridge,UK

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I did catch onto the rhythm through repetition. Also, what came to my mind was the loss of jobs. I understand they were boring jobs. During summer vacations while in college I worked on assembly lines to help pay for college. But it was a good paying job. Thank you for sharing this poem with us.

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the piece. You bring up another important element and that is the supplanting of people by machines that I think is so evil. It is a part of this theme but maybe I could have found a way to articulate it into this a bit more. estory

Comment from Giftedone.Eric Wallace .

Excellent

Okay you did your ThingYes. Enjoyed the read? Great job.
Stay inspired.
I wish you well. Keep it up.
You're very talented.
Once again until enjoy it Keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your words of support for my piece. It is great to hear that it seems to have resonated with so many readers. estory

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

I very much found that as the piece was being read to me by the computer, I was on the assembly line of word production. Welcome back and do keep writing and sharing your work with us. Patricia

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and all your words of support for my strange little piece estory

Comment from Jesse James Doty

Exceptional

Well done, my friend! Just as you wanted you created a mechanized world with the lack of intimacy and of thought that goes into the assembly line every day of our lives. This speaks to the heartlessness of the people who work on those lines and if only they knew how the stupidity of it all leaves them soulless and lifeless for the rest of their life.
Jesse

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023

Thanks again for the exceptional review and all your continued support for my work estory

reply by Jesse James Doty on 03-Mar-2023

You're welcome, my friend.