Ancient Art of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Heart Asunder"A compilation of poems
18 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Kudos for writing a meaningful loop poem. They are notoriously difficult to pen with a full-bodied theme and true emotive "pull." That being said, this particular challenge specifically states you must adhere to an a/b/c/b rhyme scheme. Monorhyme is not an option. For this reason, in order to not be disqualified I'd encourage you to rework your loop words so that the rhyme scheme is correct! (I'm certain you can do this!)
****Addendum: Lea reworked her poem and beautifully complies with the ABCB rhyme scheme. Great job!
Karenina
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Kudos for writing a meaningful loop poem. They are notoriously difficult to pen with a full-bodied theme and true emotive "pull." That being said, this particular challenge specifically states you must adhere to an a/b/c/b rhyme scheme. Monorhyme is not an option. For this reason, in order to not be disqualified I'd encourage you to rework your loop words so that the rhyme scheme is correct! (I'm certain you can do this!)
****Addendum: Lea reworked her poem and beautifully complies with the ABCB rhyme scheme. Great job!
Karenina
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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OKI fixed this one if you wanna have a quick. Peek thank you for your very awesome advice!
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So, with a/b/c/b rhyme scheme the second and fourth lines should rhyme with one another....and the first and third lines should not rhyme with any of the other lines....
(PM me tomorrow if this is not clear and we can discuss it)
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Ok thx!
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Thank you!
Comment from royowen
I've never successfully negotiated on of these Loop poems, well, never to my satisfaction, it's always good to tackle these forms, no matter the difficulty, the satisfaction derived is wonderful. Beautifully written, great job, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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I've never successfully negotiated on of these Loop poems, well, never to my satisfaction, it's always good to tackle these forms, no matter the difficulty, the satisfaction derived is wonderful. Beautifully written, great job, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much I really appreciate it I hope you have a great afternoon!
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You too
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wonderful entry for the Loop Poetry Contest that comes from your heart.
Good rhyme and meter that doesn't sound forced.
Nice presentation and imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Wonderful entry for the Loop Poetry Contest that comes from your heart.
Good rhyme and meter that doesn't sound forced.
Nice presentation and imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for the lovely thing to say! I'm so glad you like it
Comment from Lobber
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Carrying a message through a loop poem is not an easy task - you do an admirable job with )substance and meaning( - also, there is a certain musicality to the piece - your loop back to )air( is both clever and effective.
cont.
In your response to lancelot you write:
)And I will thank you for your review and for your comments well I will certainly change that to sweet and I appreciate your honesty thank you again!(
the correct spelling and pronunciation is )tout de suite(
OR at a minimum: )tout suite(
- Lobber
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more....from Lobber
https://www.google.ca
Hi Lea,
You can easily find out who did the art and give them credit.
Upload an image
1 On your computer, go to a web browser.
2 Go to Google Images.
3 Click Search by image .
4 Click Upload a file.
5 Select an image.
6 Click Open or Choose.
OR
Drag & drop an image
1 On your computer, go to a web browser.
2 Go to Google Images.
3 On your computer, find the file with the image you want to search with.
4 Click the image.
5 Hold down the mouse, drag the image, and then drop it into the search box.
It is ORIOL ANGRILL in Spain
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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===
Carrying a message through a loop poem is not an easy task - you do an admirable job with )substance and meaning( - also, there is a certain musicality to the piece - your loop back to )air( is both clever and effective.
cont.
In your response to lancelot you write:
)And I will thank you for your review and for your comments well I will certainly change that to sweet and I appreciate your honesty thank you again!(
the correct spelling and pronunciation is )tout de suite(
OR at a minimum: )tout suite(
- Lobber
======
more....from Lobber
https://www.google.ca
Hi Lea,
You can easily find out who did the art and give them credit.
Upload an image
1 On your computer, go to a web browser.
2 Go to Google Images.
3 Click Search by image .
4 Click Upload a file.
5 Select an image.
6 Click Open or Choose.
OR
Drag & drop an image
1 On your computer, go to a web browser.
2 Go to Google Images.
3 On your computer, find the file with the image you want to search with.
4 Click the image.
5 Hold down the mouse, drag the image, and then drop it into the search box.
It is ORIOL ANGRILL in Spain
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Oh thank you so much that's so kind of you to say I appreciate your thoughts and your insight as always. Thank you also for taking the time to have a look at it And offering it quite valuable opinion thanks have a great day !
Comment from JT traveller
Really well written piece of poetry. Your words and rhyme lend motion to your poem.
A thoroughly enjoyable read. You certainly lived up to the challenge.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Really well written piece of poetry. Your words and rhyme lend motion to your poem.
A thoroughly enjoyable read. You certainly lived up to the challenge.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Thank you so very much that's so kind of you to say encourages me to continue on for which I am very grateful! Thank you again have a fabulous day or evening wherever it is in your part of the world!
Comment from lancellot
This is nice but there are issues with it. What you have in mono-rhymed. Also, the first word on the last line should be: Bare
This is what the contest calls for:
-There is a rhyme scheme. The rhyme scheme is abcb.
You're gaze at random floats in the air...
-You gaze at random floats in the air...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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This is nice but there are issues with it. What you have in mono-rhymed. Also, the first word on the last line should be: Bare
This is what the contest calls for:
-There is a rhyme scheme. The rhyme scheme is abcb.
You're gaze at random floats in the air...
-You gaze at random floats in the air...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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And I will thank you for your review and for your comments well I will certainly change that to sweet and I appreciate your honesty thank you again!
Comment from prettybluebirds
I think you did a great job with this challenge. I can see where it would be difficult to write a poem this way. Your words show your heartfelt feelings you put into the poem. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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I think you did a great job with this challenge. I can see where it would be difficult to write a poem this way. Your words show your heartfelt feelings you put into the poem. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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I thank you again for your kind words....so happy you enjoyed it yeah it was a brain teaser for sure. I also had to consider putting some heart and depth into. I appreciate you noticing you put a smile on my face thank you very much hope you have a great evening!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Matching end rhymes with a feeling of floating on air in this loop and I enjoyed the atmospheric created within this loop as a connection is made and then broken when love fails us, a poignant write, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Matching end rhymes with a feeling of floating on air in this loop and I enjoyed the atmospheric created within this loop as a connection is made and then broken when love fails us, a poignant write, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Thank you again Dolly I'm so happy like it I tried to accomplish with the contest rules as well as doing the ABCD B thing that they required it was a challenge for sure I appreciate as always your comment thank you have a great evening!
