Highway to Independence
Who knows where the road leads, only time13 total reviews
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written and lengthy with rich Theme and Imagery.
Very sad but also a good ending
Adrianna and Miles.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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This was well written and lengthy with rich Theme and Imagery.
Very sad but also a good ending
Adrianna and Miles.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 04-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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Thanks. Ricky, much appeciated
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm giving you five stars because I really enjoyed this contest entry, but it should be four stars because of all of the errors. I only copied a few of them down. Please edit this.
They both laughed." (omit the final quotation mark, it's not needed)
"Miles, "I also have very strong feelings for you, but I'm scared to death. (omit the quotation mark before 'I')
"I'm pregnant!" she blurted out. And the father is unavailable." (need quotation marks in front of 'And')
Tell him you will keep his name secret? just you and him. But you need his help." (don't know why the '?' is there, probably do need a comma)
Arianna hesitated. This did not look good?" a chamber of horrors! She stepped back in terror. "I need time to talk to my friend," Arianna replied, looking over to May.
"Make it quick," he snapped back. "You're wasting my time."
Arianna pulled May aside, "her voice was quivering. "I'm scared to death. This isn't good." Let's get out of here," she whispered to her.
May agreed. The whole scenario was right out of a nightmare. She turned and walked over to the man. "Open the goddamn door." May demanded. "We've changed our minds. Open it now!"
On the freeway back to Salem, Arianna was going through various emotions, crying deeply?" (don't know why the '?' & quotation marks are here. I have quit documenting them, but there are many others like this in this post.)
"No, if fact, other than looks, Miles and I were different in many ways. (No, IN?? fact)
"You mentioned you are a journalist writer. What does that entail? Well, mostly for newspapers needing local human interest stories, that sort of thing." (you have two people speaking here)
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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I'm giving you five stars because I really enjoyed this contest entry, but it should be four stars because of all of the errors. I only copied a few of them down. Please edit this.
They both laughed." (omit the final quotation mark, it's not needed)
"Miles, "I also have very strong feelings for you, but I'm scared to death. (omit the quotation mark before 'I')
"I'm pregnant!" she blurted out. And the father is unavailable." (need quotation marks in front of 'And')
Tell him you will keep his name secret? just you and him. But you need his help." (don't know why the '?' is there, probably do need a comma)
Arianna hesitated. This did not look good?" a chamber of horrors! She stepped back in terror. "I need time to talk to my friend," Arianna replied, looking over to May.
"Make it quick," he snapped back. "You're wasting my time."
Arianna pulled May aside, "her voice was quivering. "I'm scared to death. This isn't good." Let's get out of here," she whispered to her.
May agreed. The whole scenario was right out of a nightmare. She turned and walked over to the man. "Open the goddamn door." May demanded. "We've changed our minds. Open it now!"
On the freeway back to Salem, Arianna was going through various emotions, crying deeply?" (don't know why the '?' & quotation marks are here. I have quit documenting them, but there are many others like this in this post.)
"No, if fact, other than looks, Miles and I were different in many ways. (No, IN?? fact)
"You mentioned you are a journalist writer. What does that entail? Well, mostly for newspapers needing local human interest stories, that sort of thing." (you have two people speaking here)
Comment Written 04-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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Thanks, Barbara. Loading this piece was a struggle. It's long, and there were many times I had to keep cutting and pasting. I knew I had gummed it up a bit, but when it finally loaded, I was just too tired to go back over it. So thank you for your input. Very much appreciated.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This long drawn out story is much too long and I lost interest when it seemed to carry on for what seemed like ages. I hope you understand that when a contest says short even shortish it means a lot shorter than what you have written here. I liked the content just not the length of the tale.
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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This long drawn out story is much too long and I lost interest when it seemed to carry on for what seemed like ages. I hope you understand that when a contest says short even shortish it means a lot shorter than what you have written here. I liked the content just not the length of the tale.
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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Hey Jesse, the contest is misnamed! They wanted a long story, up to 4,000-10,000 words. If you can stand it, get a coffee, (or scotch) and give it a shot. It has some unexpected plot twists that will go on a whole different path. Hence the name.
