To Wonder?.. or To Wonder!
What's the difference between ...15 total reviews
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
The repetition works well in this poem. It gives the concept of wondering 'in a different way' great force at the end of the poem. The long length of the lines is effective too as it replicates in words the process of wondering
which is inevitably a lengthy process. You were 'wondering' about the legitimacy of 'lil'. Just say the speaker is a Cockney from the East End of London( UK) and you can get away with it!
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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The repetition works well in this poem. It gives the concept of wondering 'in a different way' great force at the end of the poem. The long length of the lines is effective too as it replicates in words the process of wondering
which is inevitably a lengthy process. You were 'wondering' about the legitimacy of 'lil'. Just say the speaker is a Cockney from the East End of London( UK) and you can get away with it!
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Ok. Thanks. I was in. "tizzy."
Comment from Karyn2
We talk about the magic and wonder of Christmas all the time but I like how you pause to wonder in each stanza at a new aspect of the Christmas story. To breath, to think and question what it was to have been there, what it feels like to know he died for you and loves you.
The second last stanza felt a little awkward rhythmically though. Perhaps too many syllables in wonderful? You could try "as Jesus my Saviour"? It's a beautiful poem to reflect on this Christmas.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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We talk about the magic and wonder of Christmas all the time but I like how you pause to wonder in each stanza at a new aspect of the Christmas story. To breath, to think and question what it was to have been there, what it feels like to know he died for you and loves you.
The second last stanza felt a little awkward rhythmically though. Perhaps too many syllables in wonderful? You could try "as Jesus my Saviour"? It's a beautiful poem to reflect on this Christmas.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Thanks. I?ll review that stanza.
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I did and edited to read, Jesus my Savior. I thought afterward ?Wonderful Jesus, ? staying with Wonder in the title. What do you think. As is, it is personal
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I did and edited to read, Jesus my Savior. I thought afterward ?Wonderful Jesus, ? staying with Wonder in the title. What do you think. As is, it is personal
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Ah! See I think you already have a beautiful connection with the title that I don't feel the extra nod to "wonderful" is necessary here. But I know it's hard as a writer when a word has really stood out to you and you have an attachment to it, we often don't want to let it go. Don't change it for me.. only change if it sits well for you. Or pose it on a forum and see what others think. I like the flow better but you have to love it too!
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I do and have decided to leave as it is at this time
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Going with your gut is always good! People's advice will vary but always important to trust and back yourself too! Good on you.
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amen
Comment from Susan Newell
Tom,
This is really wonderful. I love the play with wonder?/wonder! I too wonder how much we will remember in the afterlife. Faith can tell us it's there, but not exactly what it's like. Very thought-provoking poem, but also one of reassurance and calm.
Sue
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Tom,
This is really wonderful. I love the play with wonder?/wonder! I too wonder how much we will remember in the afterlife. Faith can tell us it's there, but not exactly what it's like. Very thought-provoking poem, but also one of reassurance and calm.
Sue
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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I am glad you appreciated it, as I do you.
Comment from Ric Myworld
You've about covered all the bases with this one, put us to thinking, and then offered up enough answers to sooth our questions too. Have a great weekend! Thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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You've about covered all the bases with this one, put us to thinking, and then offered up enough answers to sooth our questions too. Have a great weekend! Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Back at a, partner. Bona fide. Carpe diem.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, To Wonder? or To Wonder!, presented with fifteen rhyming couplets, asks if the future will allow us to recall our faith and still look forward to heaven. Let's say yes.
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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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This poem, To Wonder? or To Wonder!, presented with fifteen rhyming couplets, asks if the future will allow us to recall our faith and still look forward to heaven. Let's say yes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Amen with great hope, but is my faith sufficiently strengthened. We'll see.
