The Aspen Grove Murders
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The Aspen Grove Murders #3"A Tommy Thompson Mystery
34 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
Wonderful chapter to read. Full of action and tension. I'm eager to read more of this story. You did a great job as usual. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Shirley
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Wonderful chapter to read. Full of action and tension. I'm eager to read more of this story. You did a great job as usual. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Shirley
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the lovely stars and the kind encouragement, Shirley dear. Both mean the world to me. Blessings to you always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Ricky1024
This chapter was well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing and have a Blessed Thanksgiving.
Doctor Ricky1024
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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This chapter was well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing and have a Blessed Thanksgiving.
Doctor Ricky1024
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the excellent review and kind compliments, Good Doctor. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal :))
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Sally,
I'll mention a few things that sped through my head when I finished this chapter...
First of all, I like the font you've chosen. It's easy to read except for those commas that almost look like periods.
I'm surprised that you haven't continued with Detective Sally and her team in this murder mystery in Aspen Grove. I even wondered if you might introduce the blind detective to this story later on, because of her previous successes in solving cold cases, and because it might be just a bit too much for Tommy and his team. He may need the help. But then, you'd have to stick with Tommy's telling of the story, and put Sally in 3rd person. Still, I know she'd be a huge help in solving these otherworldly crimes. And let's not forget, Tommy is dealing with his very own daughter's death while trying to solve the disappearance of many others since 1980. As well, he has had an episode with angels and demons.
"Comprender?" ... I would write it, Comprendez? But my French is limited.
"Willa dragged me to the tiny bathroom and Riley followed, not that (there) was any room in (there) for three adults." ... (I suggest.
Willa dragged me to the tiny bathroom and Riley followed, not that there was enough room for three adults.)
"Our conversation in the loo was cut short by the arrival of the two eyewitnesses: a married couple that willingly offered themselves: Dan and Maggie Van Velzen." ... ( I think I'd use a comma instead of that second colon,
Our conversation in the loo was cut short by the arrival of the two eyewitnesses: a married couple that willingly offered themselves, Dan and Maggie Van Velzen.)
This line seemed to pop...
"Willa returned with the coffee to find the room in a puddle."
*********************************************************************
Now for the incident in White Falls, New York.
Joe Santucci, former Police Chief of Aspen Grove. I wondered in a previous chapter why the former police chief wouldn't have put two and two together, and initiated his own investigation into why there had been so many mysterious disappearances in the area. Was he involved in the witches' coven? Was he, perhaps, a member himself with a fancy robe? I might even go further... was he possessed? This line didn't get by me,
( "What did you overhear?" he asked, his voice altered by the possession of another.)
Would the station attendant know Mr. Santucci? He called him by name, instead of just saying "Sir!"
(The station's attendant heard him loud and clear and issued a warning, "Mr. Santucci, get a hold of yourself!" )
The chilling cliffhanger is why did the demon kill Joe? It had to have something to do with Joe's earlier comments,
"Nobody treats me like that," he screamed. "Nobody! Do you hear me?"
and later,
"I'm in control, he thought, not the other way around. Time is on my side. They need me, and when they realize it--they'll be back."
My suspicions of Joe Santucci being involved with the witches and the disappearing children was confirmed in your final lines,
"The human trafficker and exploiter of children begged for his life as his sins came calling. "No--wait! All I need is a little more time!"
The demonic spirit leapt from the Harley and onto the speeding Benz, driving it over the cliff. Joe Santucci died on impact.
But now, who will know that Joe was involved? He's dead. Perhaps he wasn't a witch himself, and he might even be celebrated for his years of service as Police Chief in Aspen Grove. But the big question remains, why did the demon kill him?
Joe's death reminded me of the story in the Bible, in Mark 5:11-17, about the demons leaving the possessed man and entering 2,000 pigs...
When Jesus healed the possessed man, He allowed Legion to possess a nearby herd of pigs. The demons sent the pigs off the cliff and into the sea, where they drowned. From the very beginning, evil spirits want to bring death and destruction. Jesus allowed the demons to destroy the pigs so that the people could see exactly what demons are up to when they assault people. They are out to steal, kill, and destroy. It's very dangerous to entertain anything that's evil, because demons are lurking.
Jesus' action also shows the importance of human beings, relative to animals. Two thousand drowned swine for one person's life is not an even trade--and that is the point. We are more important to the Lord than any animal. Jesus had such compassion for the possessed man that it drove Him to destroy the pigs for the sake of one human life. Human life is that valuable.
Nicely penned, Sally!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Hi Sally,
I'll mention a few things that sped through my head when I finished this chapter...
First of all, I like the font you've chosen. It's easy to read except for those commas that almost look like periods.
I'm surprised that you haven't continued with Detective Sally and her team in this murder mystery in Aspen Grove. I even wondered if you might introduce the blind detective to this story later on, because of her previous successes in solving cold cases, and because it might be just a bit too much for Tommy and his team. He may need the help. But then, you'd have to stick with Tommy's telling of the story, and put Sally in 3rd person. Still, I know she'd be a huge help in solving these otherworldly crimes. And let's not forget, Tommy is dealing with his very own daughter's death while trying to solve the disappearance of many others since 1980. As well, he has had an episode with angels and demons.
"Comprender?" ... I would write it, Comprendez? But my French is limited.
"Willa dragged me to the tiny bathroom and Riley followed, not that (there) was any room in (there) for three adults." ... (I suggest.
Willa dragged me to the tiny bathroom and Riley followed, not that there was enough room for three adults.)
"Our conversation in the loo was cut short by the arrival of the two eyewitnesses: a married couple that willingly offered themselves: Dan and Maggie Van Velzen." ... ( I think I'd use a comma instead of that second colon,
Our conversation in the loo was cut short by the arrival of the two eyewitnesses: a married couple that willingly offered themselves, Dan and Maggie Van Velzen.)
This line seemed to pop...
"Willa returned with the coffee to find the room in a puddle."
*********************************************************************
Now for the incident in White Falls, New York.
Joe Santucci, former Police Chief of Aspen Grove. I wondered in a previous chapter why the former police chief wouldn't have put two and two together, and initiated his own investigation into why there had been so many mysterious disappearances in the area. Was he involved in the witches' coven? Was he, perhaps, a member himself with a fancy robe? I might even go further... was he possessed? This line didn't get by me,
( "What did you overhear?" he asked, his voice altered by the possession of another.)
Would the station attendant know Mr. Santucci? He called him by name, instead of just saying "Sir!"
(The station's attendant heard him loud and clear and issued a warning, "Mr. Santucci, get a hold of yourself!" )
The chilling cliffhanger is why did the demon kill Joe? It had to have something to do with Joe's earlier comments,
"Nobody treats me like that," he screamed. "Nobody! Do you hear me?"
and later,
"I'm in control, he thought, not the other way around. Time is on my side. They need me, and when they realize it--they'll be back."
My suspicions of Joe Santucci being involved with the witches and the disappearing children was confirmed in your final lines,
"The human trafficker and exploiter of children begged for his life as his sins came calling. "No--wait! All I need is a little more time!"
The demonic spirit leapt from the Harley and onto the speeding Benz, driving it over the cliff. Joe Santucci died on impact.
But now, who will know that Joe was involved? He's dead. Perhaps he wasn't a witch himself, and he might even be celebrated for his years of service as Police Chief in Aspen Grove. But the big question remains, why did the demon kill him?
Joe's death reminded me of the story in the Bible, in Mark 5:11-17, about the demons leaving the possessed man and entering 2,000 pigs...
When Jesus healed the possessed man, He allowed Legion to possess a nearby herd of pigs. The demons sent the pigs off the cliff and into the sea, where they drowned. From the very beginning, evil spirits want to bring death and destruction. Jesus allowed the demons to destroy the pigs so that the people could see exactly what demons are up to when they assault people. They are out to steal, kill, and destroy. It's very dangerous to entertain anything that's evil, because demons are lurking.
Jesus' action also shows the importance of human beings, relative to animals. Two thousand drowned swine for one person's life is not an even trade--and that is the point. We are more important to the Lord than any animal. Jesus had such compassion for the possessed man that it drove Him to destroy the pigs for the sake of one human life. Human life is that valuable.
Nicely penned, Sally!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the wonderful stars, dear Kim! Seeing stars here! The improvements are greatly appreciated too and I have made the corrections. Comprender is Spanish for Comprehend. I understand the confusion as the Blind Girl oftentimes uses French. I?m giving my new detective his own persona. I took both languages in middle and high school.
You are such a dear to catch up with me. Thank you, again. Blessings to you and yours,
Sal XOs
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I enjoyed this chapter, Sal. That Tommy had a visit from an angel that has changed his appearance, and is helping him, is wonderful. This is so different to your other cold case books. I'm wondering if he'll have another vision of that young angel. That Harley driver sounded freaky, and was obviously a demon. Such a lot happening in this chapter, keeping us on our toes! Loved it. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2022
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I enjoyed this chapter, Sal. That Tommy had a visit from an angel that has changed his appearance, and is helping him, is wonderful. This is so different to your other cold case books. I'm wondering if he'll have another vision of that young angel. That Harley driver sounded freaky, and was obviously a demon. Such a lot happening in this chapter, keeping us on our toes! Loved it. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the kind review of my book chapter, Sandra. I?m so glad you?re enjoying this one. Blessings to you always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Marienkiefer
Hi, Sal. A very enthralling read. I look forward to your chapters. This is developing into a book that I cannot put down, that I would read through the night.
The story is well thought out and working quite nicely. One area you may want to take a closer look at is the paragraph referring to the image created by the forensic artist. Could it be that the concern be less of hair colour but more on facial approximation and anatomy? For example some primary concerns of forensic artists are the shape of the ears that are rather hard to approximate. Also size, length and shape of the nose, distance between the eyes and nose or even the shape of the eyes rather than the intensity of hair colour alone. Just a thought for you to consider, if you so choose.
Cannot wait for the next chapter. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this interesting story. All the best.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Hi, Sal. A very enthralling read. I look forward to your chapters. This is developing into a book that I cannot put down, that I would read through the night.
The story is well thought out and working quite nicely. One area you may want to take a closer look at is the paragraph referring to the image created by the forensic artist. Could it be that the concern be less of hair colour but more on facial approximation and anatomy? For example some primary concerns of forensic artists are the shape of the ears that are rather hard to approximate. Also size, length and shape of the nose, distance between the eyes and nose or even the shape of the eyes rather than the intensity of hair colour alone. Just a thought for you to consider, if you so choose.
Cannot wait for the next chapter. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this interesting story. All the best.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the excellent review and insightful comments. You always make me feel so blessed. In actuality, hair can change the look of someone in a police lineup or in a sketch. Many wanted posters have differing looks with and without facial hair and with different hair styles. Wigs and hair color are the easiest thing for a transformation. Most criminals are masters of disguise. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
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These are interesting details and thank you very much for sharing. I am always fascinated by your stories. I love reading them, Sal. All the best.🌸
Comment from Zue65
My dear Sally your story of the battle between Satan' demons and God's warriors is definitely heating up. Tommy Thompson is proving to be an interesting Dad chosen by Angel Patience. I look forward to another sequel to this. God bless.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2022
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My dear Sally your story of the battle between Satan' demons and God's warriors is definitely heating up. Tommy Thompson is proving to be an interesting Dad chosen by Angel Patience. I look forward to another sequel to this. God bless.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Susan. I?m glad you enjoyed this chapter. Blessings to you always,
Sal XOs
Comment from lyenochka
What a lot of action here! I loved that Tommy's experience with the angel changed him completely that he's hardly able to be recognized. I'm smiling that you got him to share food with his colleagues, he can now feed people physically and spiritually with what he witnessed.
Scary stuff at the pump! I guess we'll learn more soon.
One suggestion:
the Van Velzen's recalled (Velzens) no apostrophes for plural last names.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2022
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What a lot of action here! I loved that Tommy's experience with the angel changed him completely that he's hardly able to be recognized. I'm smiling that you got him to share food with his colleagues, he can now feed people physically and spiritually with what he witnessed.
Scary stuff at the pump! I guess we'll learn more soon.
One suggestion:
the Van Velzen's recalled (Velzens) no apostrophes for plural last names.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the wonderful review and generous stars. I fixed the apostrophes early on but I guess when reviewers don?t refresh their computers. My equipment has trouble with apostrophes for some reason. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
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Well done overall. I like how the story is progressing so fast!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This seems to be quite a bit different from your previous cold cases. An angel and a demon certainly make for an interesting twosome. The child's murder, being one of many, makes it interesting.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2022
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This seems to be quite a bit different from your previous cold cases. An angel and a demon certainly make for an interesting twosome. The child's murder, being one of many, makes it interesting.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the excellent review and insightful review. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Tom Horonzy
You go girl. From the earliest read of this I could be in the room with you, as you touched her cross and moved on to solve the mystery of her death. .............................
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2022
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You go girl. From the earliest read of this I could be in the room with you, as you touched her cross and moved on to solve the mystery of her death. .............................
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the lovely review and generous compliments, Tom. I?m glad you enjoyed this chapter. Blessings to you always,
Sal :))
Comment from Wendy G
Well, his demise is very interesting! Especially following so soon after the upsetting phone call. Van Velzens is plural, so no apostrophe needed. Otherwise, another well written chapter, and no way to guess what may lie ahead.
Wendy
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2022
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Well, his demise is very interesting! Especially following so soon after the upsetting phone call. Van Velzens is plural, so no apostrophe needed. Otherwise, another well written chapter, and no way to guess what may lie ahead.
Wendy
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the lovely review and kind help. I fixed this earlier but it must need refreshing. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
