The Aspen Grove Murders
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Aspen Grove Murders #2"A Tommy Thompson Mystery
34 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Superb! I'm loving this one, Sal. It's lovely to know that God has sent an angel to help Tommy find his little girl's murderer and that of all the other sad stolen souls. This is going to be a wonderful story, my friend. Well done! I'll be looking for chapter 3. Warm hugs!! Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2022
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Superb! I'm loving this one, Sal. It's lovely to know that God has sent an angel to help Tommy find his little girl's murderer and that of all the other sad stolen souls. This is going to be a wonderful story, my friend. Well done! I'll be looking for chapter 3. Warm hugs!! Sandra xx
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the lovely review, Sandra dear. I?m so very blessed. I?m glad you enjoyed my book and spiritual characters. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Sally, I really like the spiritual take on your story, and the face that you took on a male narrator's roll.
Nice, frightening description of the demon.
Excellent chapter, Sally. I want to read more...
Blessings,
Afa,
Cindy
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
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Sally, I really like the spiritual take on your story, and the face that you took on a male narrator's roll.
Nice, frightening description of the demon.
Excellent chapter, Sally. I want to read more...
Blessings,
Afa,
Cindy
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the lovely review and stars, Cindy dear. Blessings,
Sal XOs
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You?re welcome, Sally
Hugs
Comment from Zue65
I have long wanted to read stories about Satanic cults preying on children and sacrificing them on their satanic altars. Writers need to expose their demonic activities and this story I hope will be doing that service to humanity. Thanks for sharing this.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
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I have long wanted to read stories about Satanic cults preying on children and sacrificing them on their satanic altars. Writers need to expose their demonic activities and this story I hope will be doing that service to humanity. Thanks for sharing this.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the great review and generous stars, Susan. I?m certain you will appreciate my latest book. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Susan Newell
Sally,
This is another great chapter. I liked the descriptions of the angelic being and the demon. For some reason I don't believe we've seen the last of these spiritual warriors. I will try hard to keep track of the details as we move along. Keep the chapters coming!
Sue
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
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Sally,
This is another great chapter. I liked the descriptions of the angelic being and the demon. For some reason I don't believe we've seen the last of these spiritual warriors. I will try hard to keep track of the details as we move along. Keep the chapters coming!
Sue
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the lovely review and kind compliments, Sue dear. I?m glad you enjoyed my latest. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
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Always my pleasure. :-)
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A great chapter Sally, and very well written. I do like the combination of the detective story and the Angel in the forest, sent to help Tommy. A spiritual arm around his shoulders, as it were. Great work,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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A great chapter Sally, and very well written. I do like the combination of the detective story and the Angel in the forest, sent to help Tommy. A spiritual arm around his shoulders, as it were. Great work,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Dear Valda, thank you so much for the wonderful review and generous super stars! It is so appreciated. I?m glad you?re enjoying my new book and the spiritual theme within. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Wish I had a six for this one! This book will be very interesting with its spiritual slant and clear emphasis on spiritual warfare. I can't wait for the spiritual battle to continue. Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Wish I had a six for this one! This book will be very interesting with its spiritual slant and clear emphasis on spiritual warfare. I can't wait for the spiritual battle to continue. Well done.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the kind review of my book chapter. I?m so glad you enjoyed it. Sending you my very best today as always, Teddy dear. Sally XOs
Comment from amahra
This proves to be a very interesting story. I like the writing style. I'm glad I didn't miss this second installment. I missed the first.
I leaned against the doctor's desk and studied the maps on the wall, trying to make heads or tails of Aspen Grove and the numerous colored [pindots]. [pindots--one word] Catching his eye, I asked for more insight.
The day was getting prettier by the minute, and I was ready to [get] outside. [go] outside?
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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This proves to be a very interesting story. I like the writing style. I'm glad I didn't miss this second installment. I missed the first.
I leaned against the doctor's desk and studied the maps on the wall, trying to make heads or tails of Aspen Grove and the numerous colored [pindots]. [pindots--one word] Catching his eye, I asked for more insight.
The day was getting prettier by the minute, and I was ready to [get] outside. [go] outside?
Comment Written 15-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the lovely review and kind compliments. I have had pindots as one word. I'm not sure why it's not displaying for you. Thank you, again. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
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I'm sorry. I meant to write pin dots are two words.
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I use Merrian Webster:
pindot
noun
: a dot of the smallest size used in textiles
pindotted
ˈ⸗¦⸗⸗
adjective
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hum, I wonder why google gave me two words. Oh, well. LOL! stick with Webster.
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I use Merriam-Webster:
Pindot
noun
: a dot of the smallest size used in textiles
pindotted
ˈ⸗¦⸗⸗
adjective
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No worries. It may be both. Are you European or Australian?
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American :))
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Okay, me too!
Comment from Shirley McLain
Never enough sixes to go around. This is the first chapter I read, and I love it. I like the spirituality and of course the angelic encounter. You did a great job, and I'm ready to read more. Shirley
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Never enough sixes to go around. This is the first chapter I read, and I love it. I like the spirituality and of course the angelic encounter. You did a great job, and I'm ready to read more. Shirley
Comment Written 15-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the kind of you and generous stars. I understand about the Sixers and don?t worry about it. So good having you near me. Due to my husband?s work schedule, I now post on Monday.
Thank you again, Shirley dear. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Begin Again
Good morning, Sally
What a surprise to learn we aren't only involved in a detective story but a fantasy of good versus evil and their battle to control. Your character descriptions were very vivid and drew the reader into each spirit. It will be interesting to see how deeply you take us into this battle.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Good morning, Sally
What a surprise to learn we aren't only involved in a detective story but a fantasy of good versus evil and their battle to control. Your character descriptions were very vivid and drew the reader into each spirit. It will be interesting to see how deeply you take us into this battle.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 15-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Wow! Thank you, Carol. I?m so blessed by this! Thank you so much for the wonderful review and kind compliments. Both mean so much! Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from BOO ghost
" I commented, then added, " Like then added. I have never used these two words. Willa exclaimed. I like this too.
menagerie, a unique word. I'm a word boy. I like to increase my vocabulary and learn new words. I don't agree with the rules of having simple words. I don't see the harm of using sophisticated words. I don't favor being on the 6 grade word level. Teach me a new word is my specialty. And the guy teaching keep sentences short is bogus. Sometimes longer sentences paint a better picture. I try to keep sentences short but sometimes it's avoidable and robot like if all you use is short sentences. And passive voice is acceptable, especially when using show rather than tell. I can already discern that this prose is well written.
Reading on...this is interesting. Do you see how the pins form an upside down cross with Aspen Grove at the center?"
Good dialogue and explanation of pindots on the map. Prose looks flawless thus far. two disappearances all together," stated the coroner. " Hum, is there a serial killer at large?
Miss Fast Fingers. Humor!
Phoebe's silver cross is missing, hum, is there a connection with a cult. I noticed the inverted cross on the map. Now her cross is missing? Well, I missed the first chapter.
"You go ahead and take some time," she said softly. " You may want to consider replacing softly with another word. I see no big deal using an adverb sporadically. Some of the rule makers frown on adverbs. Like they are taboo. You already know that it's called purple prose. Steven King hates adverbs. Use a stronger verb is what they recommend. But I see no harm in an adverb here and there? Long as it is a few. I question â?" rules invented in the Ice Age.
A sketch artist thickens the plot. It's good to use show whenever it's appropriate. Instead of tell. A picture tells a thousand words. Your story has grip! You are no novice. A word weaver. Great imagination and you are exceptional using dialogue. Narrative is good. I see no discrepancies. Oh, my. I feel like a student. Teacher.
as I continued deeper into the area I would never be able to forget. Perhaps consider shortening this by deleting a couple of words. I would never forgot is the shorter version. Yep. Editors cut words.
The morning gray had given way to a crystal blue sky; and I wept again thinking of Phoebe's beautiful blue eyes against her red hair.
I been researching rules of writing. One rule is to write as though the audience is blind. You fill that void here by these descriptions. It paints a picture of her facial and hair features.
Exceptional story. You dropped a bombshell on me. Patience. Nice angel name! Good description. The cross confirmed that it was not a premonition. This is the first time Patience has appeared?
Patience and patience? Yes. I see a metaphor. transforming into a ravenous lion.
"Nix! This is my turf now! " she roared. "BE---GONE!!"
Woohoo! A demon appeared and she transformed into a lion three times bigger!
I slipped her cross around my neck and vowed not to take it off until I had found her killer and closed all the cold cases, every last one of them. This is the cliff hanger! Yep. Already got my Inspector gadget or Sherlock Holmes toboggan on trying to decipher who the serial killer is? Very nice ending! Only suggestion I have is to delete a couple of adverbs. I'm not sure why a lot of authors frown upon them? They suggest a stronger verb. I'm only the messenger. I didn't invent the neanderthal rules! Sometimes it feels good! To be a rule breaker! Hahaha. Wonderful plot and bountiful of imagination. Good as any book in a bookstore or audio book.
Reap your spoils!
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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" I commented, then added, " Like then added. I have never used these two words. Willa exclaimed. I like this too.
menagerie, a unique word. I'm a word boy. I like to increase my vocabulary and learn new words. I don't agree with the rules of having simple words. I don't see the harm of using sophisticated words. I don't favor being on the 6 grade word level. Teach me a new word is my specialty. And the guy teaching keep sentences short is bogus. Sometimes longer sentences paint a better picture. I try to keep sentences short but sometimes it's avoidable and robot like if all you use is short sentences. And passive voice is acceptable, especially when using show rather than tell. I can already discern that this prose is well written.
Reading on...this is interesting. Do you see how the pins form an upside down cross with Aspen Grove at the center?"
Good dialogue and explanation of pindots on the map. Prose looks flawless thus far. two disappearances all together," stated the coroner. " Hum, is there a serial killer at large?
Miss Fast Fingers. Humor!
Phoebe's silver cross is missing, hum, is there a connection with a cult. I noticed the inverted cross on the map. Now her cross is missing? Well, I missed the first chapter.
"You go ahead and take some time," she said softly. " You may want to consider replacing softly with another word. I see no big deal using an adverb sporadically. Some of the rule makers frown on adverbs. Like they are taboo. You already know that it's called purple prose. Steven King hates adverbs. Use a stronger verb is what they recommend. But I see no harm in an adverb here and there? Long as it is a few. I question â?" rules invented in the Ice Age.
A sketch artist thickens the plot. It's good to use show whenever it's appropriate. Instead of tell. A picture tells a thousand words. Your story has grip! You are no novice. A word weaver. Great imagination and you are exceptional using dialogue. Narrative is good. I see no discrepancies. Oh, my. I feel like a student. Teacher.
as I continued deeper into the area I would never be able to forget. Perhaps consider shortening this by deleting a couple of words. I would never forgot is the shorter version. Yep. Editors cut words.
The morning gray had given way to a crystal blue sky; and I wept again thinking of Phoebe's beautiful blue eyes against her red hair.
I been researching rules of writing. One rule is to write as though the audience is blind. You fill that void here by these descriptions. It paints a picture of her facial and hair features.
Exceptional story. You dropped a bombshell on me. Patience. Nice angel name! Good description. The cross confirmed that it was not a premonition. This is the first time Patience has appeared?
Patience and patience? Yes. I see a metaphor. transforming into a ravenous lion.
"Nix! This is my turf now! " she roared. "BE---GONE!!"
Woohoo! A demon appeared and she transformed into a lion three times bigger!
I slipped her cross around my neck and vowed not to take it off until I had found her killer and closed all the cold cases, every last one of them. This is the cliff hanger! Yep. Already got my Inspector gadget or Sherlock Holmes toboggan on trying to decipher who the serial killer is? Very nice ending! Only suggestion I have is to delete a couple of adverbs. I'm not sure why a lot of authors frown upon them? They suggest a stronger verb. I'm only the messenger. I didn't invent the neanderthal rules! Sometimes it feels good! To be a rule breaker! Hahaha. Wonderful plot and bountiful of imagination. Good as any book in a bookstore or audio book.
Reap your spoils!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the wonderful review, dear BOO, and the super duper stars! You?re so very kind! I appreciate your insight too and recommendations. I?m glad you enjoyed it. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
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I'm just another brick in the wall. Not my recommendations. I know the SPAG rules. Try Scribophile. The critiques will make you feel "1 inch tall when they done with ya'. I tried it. Too hard core for BOO. They basically want to rewrite your novel their way. Lol!
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This is my seventh book. I am my own person in that regard and stay true to myself. I think that's the best way to be. I have four of my books published now on Amazon Kindle and two audiobooks in Audible. I give away a lot of books to my blind community too. It's just fun for me while I have a bit of sight left. God has blessed me and I am happy. Thank you again, BOO! Sal :)))
