Alone Without a Whimper
Death is not complicated or proud.65 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
There are a lot of lonely older people in this world today. I'm one of them, too. My niece does live here, but she works and is gone most of the time. When she is here, she stays in her room. I wish you the best in the contest.
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There are a lot of lonely older people in this world today. I'm one of them, too. My niece does live here, but she works and is gone most of the time. When she is here, she stays in her room. I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
Comment from Lady MJ
Loneliness is a huge factor in the lives of elderly ones. I agree completely that we should check on our elderly neighbors, family members and friends who don't have family close by. Sending a card or a brief phone call says wonders to a person who lives alone. We were not created to be alone thus the need to let the elderly know they are not alone. Material things do not replace loneliness.
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Loneliness is a huge factor in the lives of elderly ones. I agree completely that we should check on our elderly neighbors, family members and friends who don't have family close by. Sending a card or a brief phone call says wonders to a person who lives alone. We were not created to be alone thus the need to let the elderly know they are not alone. Material things do not replace loneliness.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
Comment from Mariana Convery
This story elicits a very sad theme. Our elderly people deserve so much more than this. But it's a sad fact, unlike some other countries where the elderly are revered and protected, that in America people are afraid to associate with the elderly due to their own fear of getting old and just don't want anything to remind them of it. I was a bit confused with the whole welfare check since "they" inherited a good amount of money. Also, this paragraph reads more like a script than a short story..."Peggy Hill, a county medical examiner, is on the phone with Detective Sergeant Glenn Horne of the Dallas Police Department." Other than that, nice job.
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This story elicits a very sad theme. Our elderly people deserve so much more than this. But it's a sad fact, unlike some other countries where the elderly are revered and protected, that in America people are afraid to associate with the elderly due to their own fear of getting old and just don't want anything to remind them of it. I was a bit confused with the whole welfare check since "they" inherited a good amount of money. Also, this paragraph reads more like a script than a short story..."Peggy Hill, a county medical examiner, is on the phone with Detective Sergeant Glenn Horne of the Dallas Police Department." Other than that, nice job.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
Comment from Tpa
An excellent story and one that frequently happens to the elderly. In your story, I wondered more if it was suicide rather than a health issue. I based that on the loss of his wife and the conversation at the end between the relatives. GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST.
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An excellent story and one that frequently happens to the elderly. In your story, I wondered more if it was suicide rather than a health issue. I based that on the loss of his wife and the conversation at the end between the relatives. GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
Comment from Ulla
Hi Terry, It's sad really, when it comes to an end like that. I do believe more and more people find themselves in a situation like this. I liked your story for the contest. It raises a lot of issues for older people. Good luck, Ulla:)))
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Hi Terry, It's sad really, when it comes to an end like that. I do believe more and more people find themselves in a situation like this. I liked your story for the contest. It raises a lot of issues for older people. Good luck, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
Comment from irishauthorme
Great story, and thanks for the snugsafe app. Had a few die like that when driving ambulance. Quite a few died soon after their lifetime mate was gone, seems like they just lost the will to live. Some, according to neighbors, had predicted their own death, accurately, just as if they planned it.
Who knows?
irish
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Great story, and thanks for the snugsafe app. Had a few die like that when driving ambulance. Quite a few died soon after their lifetime mate was gone, seems like they just lost the will to live. Some, according to neighbors, had predicted their own death, accurately, just as if they planned it.
Who knows?
irish
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
Comment from estory
I think it's an interesting post that illustrates that the family in your life has to step up in cases like this. The last line here seems to suggest these two didn't do that. We can't rely on the responders and police, they just follow the form, if there is no evidence to prove otherwise, it gets swept up and forgotten. The dialogue was strong, very realistic, very dead pan, unemotional, business like. That really underscored the theme. I think you could expand out of that last couple of lines and give us a little more about these two family members that seem more interested in inheriting the money than anything else. There's a bigger story here if you want to write it. estory
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I think it's an interesting post that illustrates that the family in your life has to step up in cases like this. The last line here seems to suggest these two didn't do that. We can't rely on the responders and police, they just follow the form, if there is no evidence to prove otherwise, it gets swept up and forgotten. The dialogue was strong, very realistic, very dead pan, unemotional, business like. That really underscored the theme. I think you could expand out of that last couple of lines and give us a little more about these two family members that seem more interested in inheriting the money than anything else. There's a bigger story here if you want to write it. estory
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
Comment from Ricky1024
"Alone Without a Wimper"
This was well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
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Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky1024
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"Alone Without a Wimper"
This was well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky1024
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
Comment from Sally Law
Thank you for sharing this, Terry. Yes, my FanStory friend, WalkerMan was just saved thanks to a wellness check, two checks actually, after he was not responding to another FanStory member's call. His life was saved. I'm forever grateful that she persisted with the local EMTs and police. I'm glad to hear your are well and safe too. An important message for our time as we have become less involved in the lives around us since the advent of Covid.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs
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Thank you for sharing this, Terry. Yes, my FanStory friend, WalkerMan was just saved thanks to a wellness check, two checks actually, after he was not responding to another FanStory member's call. His life was saved. I'm forever grateful that she persisted with the local EMTs and police. I'm glad to hear your are well and safe too. An important message for our time as we have become less involved in the lives around us since the advent of Covid.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
Comment from Earl Corp
Even though this is a work of fiction it is unfortunate that this exact scene play's out across the country every day. Very nice job calling attention and to the issue because no one should die alone.
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Even though this is a work of fiction it is unfortunate that this exact scene play's out across the country every day. Very nice job calling attention and to the issue because no one should die alone.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022