Reviews from

Death By Murder

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Death By Murder - Chap 7"
A jewel heist, rival gangs and a cold case.

19 total reviews 
Comment from LJbutterfly
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Oh Noooo! Each chapter leaves me hanging on a hook. Bennie is messing up. If he talks, his dad might talk. If questioned, Sandy could say she saw an expensive looking ring, and I haven't forgotten the bank teller who saw Lance on the floor scooping up diamonds. I'm on a roller coaster. Yikes!

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
    Sandy is a question mark in the story I think. She acts tough at times, but her loyalty likes beneath the surface. As for the bank teller, she was nosey but definite afraid of what she saw. Not sure how quiet she will be.

    Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
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LOOSE LIPS SINKS SHIPS AND lANCE'S COUSIN IS ABOUT TO SPILL THE BEANS. tHE DIAMOND RING IS ALREADY IN THE WIND!
Lance is going to have his hands full when the Mob
hears about the diamond ring. There's a Devil in the bottle and he wants to see everyone dead. Good job Carol. NAncy:)

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
    Yes, the devil in the bottle and who will release him first???

    And secrets abound everywhere that will begin to unravel too. Glad you are enjoying. I am thrilled!!

    Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
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This is another excellent chapter, Carol. We can see that Bennie is setting himself and Lance up for a whole lot of trouble, unbeknownst to Lance. We'll see what his father has to say when he tells him. Great work.

One little spag: "...shoving the remaining gems into his jean(s) pocket."

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
    Fixed and thank you!

    I've fallen into the old trap of reading, reviewing and writing crammed into one day. It's too much and I miss things, especially with these eyes. I appreciate you catching my errors.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by Judy Lawless on 31-Oct-2022
    You?re most welcome, Carol.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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So the news of this jewelry is going to be all over town before long. I figured as much. Bennie can't keep his mouth shut. They are going to be dead before long and our friends are going to figure it all out. I know they will.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
    I imagine out of fear and a bit of thought, Bennie and Lance will be on the run soon as secrets unravel. As for our darling duo, they've got their work cut out for them, not knowing the truth about much.

    Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Talking about wild imaginations, it would take a Hollywood screenwriters guild to keep up with you and yours. LOL. Your son came by his talents honestly. Now I'm just hoping a little more contact wears some off on me. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
    You, my friend, have more imagination than I could ever come up with, though yours tends to travel a dark vein than mine. LOL Never question your abilities. I am amazed at every story you write. You take me places I would never venture.

    Thank you for all your kindness and the stars. I appreciate YOU more than anything else.

    Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by Ric Myworld on 31-Oct-2022
    You're a special writer and friend who brightens every day when you're around! Smiles and hugs back at ya! Ric
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
    Take care of yourself, my dear. Prayers for a speedy recovery.
    Love ya, Carol
Comment from Jasmine Girl
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I guess you can't trust your best friend, who can't resist when seeing a pile of shining Jewries. On the other hand, Bennie helped to preserve some of them before the gangster got hold of them.

I like the dialogue pattern of drunk people.

Well done.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
    Thanks so much... Bennie was raised by his dad and unfortunately, life was rough. The jewels overwhelmed him as he battled with his common sense. He didn't mean to betray Lance he just wanted to share his excitement with his dad............and things began to unravel.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Tom Horonzy
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For a moment I thought this was a story in a place I lived in NJ but do I assume it right if I say Boston. That was my firms home office. Loved the town. Marijuana was that around back in the day. I never have smoked a toke. Didn't see getting more dazed than the state I live in which is my own, as one may tell from the hundred+ forms I write about. I have no idea where my mind will lead me, so I tie myself to the Spirit within me which keeps me out of most troubles.

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 Comment Written 30-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2022
    Boston would be the correct choice. An article about the tragic gang wars made this story spiral away in my imagination. I am thankful that people are enjoying it. I agree marijuana would have sent me places I would never have understood.

    Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh my goodness, if he tells him dad, that will be it for Lance, and him! It's the wrong trade to be in, flashing some other gangsters jewellery about. I see trouble ahead! Another excellent chapter, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2022
    Well, of course, my dear friend would be here to put a smile on my face while Fog hangs outside my window. Yes, I fear Bennie doesn't listen to his own advice and trouble will definitely follow.

    Thank you for your kindness and the shiny jewels!! I am so happy to be writing again and knowing others enjoy it, especially you.

    Enjoy your afternoon and look out for all the spooks and goblins lurking close by, ready to pounce when the clock strikes midnight. LOL

    Smiles, hugs and lots of love, Carol
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Excellent
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Really good drift...! I enjoyed the characters, I could 'feel' them and imagine their traits. The dialogue was quite good too. A story easy to follow and quite interesting. I just had a little problem with the 'drunk' accent. I found it slightly too crowded, but that's my lack of American English fluency probably!
Overall, good story.
Mario

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 Comment Written 30-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
    Thank you for stopping by and reading my story. I love the fact that you enjoy my characters. A special part of me wants each of them to come alive and have a life on paper.

    Smiles and hugs, Carol