Reviews from

Trip to the beach

Rex and I go on Holiday

30 total reviews 
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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What a great story! I wish I had a six to reward it properly. Sounds like Rex and Suzie had more fun on their vacation than you and Gail did. Maybe Rex can give you a few pointers. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2022
    Thank you!
Comment from Spitfire
Good
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I didn't expect the ending and got a big chuckle from that pregnant word. This would be easier on the eyes if you double spaced between paragraphs.

I especially like the part where you let your dog choose his favorite toy.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2022
    Thank you!
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
Excellent
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Well I guess Rex had the most fun!!!'
What a terrific ending, you set it up perfectly and it was unexpected. I laughed out loud when I read it.
I am a dog lover and owner, so I was drawn to this story.
Sienna, is a blond 9yr. old lab who thinks she is still a puppy:)
This story is well conceived, realized, and presented.
Although a short story, you developed the characters well and described the settings throughly.
You painted a picture for the reader to view and enjoy the seashore.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2022
    Thank you!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Oh dear, Rex did have a nice time!! Lol. So, I hope he became a responsible father, and helped with the costs and aftercare? What a fun story, I'm taking it Susie enjoyed herself, too? Lol! Well done, this really was an excellent story for the 'fun trip' contest. I enjoyed it greatly. Good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
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I don't often read these pet stories, as I'm not a pet person. But before I begin to report one aspect of this weeks current affairs, I needed a little light-relief. I wasn't disappointed. I loved your punch line. Not a great surprise, but beautifully delivered. Kate xx
Note: I was a nice guy agreed and > I'm a nice guy, so I agreed and

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
    Thank you!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Good
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This is a very amusing story where your dog sounds like your teenager. It's perfect in most every way, especially in the punchline. You do have one problem. You need to use paragraphs and leave a blank line between paragraphs. Paragraphs are formed of sentences covering a similar topic or time of action or someone is talking, and a different speaker speaks. The sentences in a paragraph following one another like train cars, leaving no spaces at end of lines within the paragraph. Best of luck with this. Best of luck in the A Fun Trip contest. Your story could win if you get the paragraph problem fixed because it is really good.

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 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
    Thank you.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Hah hah hah. Nicely written, it started out casually enough, but then kapowie! Mind you I don't know what be done, apart "puppy supports" this is hilarious, what was basically pretty casual, turned out to be a real "event". Brilliant post, good luck, blessings Roy
Typo : I was a nice guy (and) agreed. 2: Ate potato chip(s)

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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reply by royowen on 18-Aug-2022
    Welcome
Comment from Tpa
Excellent
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Good story.
try leaving an empty single line after each paragraph.
could use some editing;; told REX he could select and take one toy.
DURING THE NEXT FEW DAYS, add comma
SATURDAY EVENING,
some sentences could use reconstruction
good ending








 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
    Thank you!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. I can see Rex and Suzie had an interesting time. I enjoyed reading. My major suggestion is you need to separate your paragraphs. On FS you need to physically put in a space.

Small talk was the plan of the day for me with Gail. ( day for Gail and me.)

Gail a schoolteacher suggested that we meet later for lunch while Rex and Suzie play at the doggy park. (Gail, a schoolteacher,)

During the next three days Gail and I became friends, and we had a great time as did Suzie and Rex. (the following three days)

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
    Thank you!
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
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Ha! You never expressed whether you were happy about Suzie's pregnancy or not, lol. What a perfect ending and well-written story. A double romance what else could you possibly ask for? Best, JohnC

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
    Thank you. Had fun writing this.