My Worst Fear Realized
The worst time of my life27 total reviews
Comment from Goosey Gander
I feel so sad after reading that! Oh, I hope you have millions of votes. That story was so...amazing and sort of terrible because I am going to cry, no doubt. One thing to work on, however, is "My then wife..." This may have been intentional, but for me it didn't make sense. Excellent job.
-GG
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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I feel so sad after reading that! Oh, I hope you have millions of votes. That story was so...amazing and sort of terrible because I am going to cry, no doubt. One thing to work on, however, is "My then wife..." This may have been intentional, but for me it didn't make sense. Excellent job.
-GG
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much, GG. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Annette R.
First my condolences for your loss. I only have one child (now grown) and would not like to contemplate his passing. I noticed a couple of things. It's not clear if you did or did not go on the Boy Scout trip. Where you say your mother died, the d does not need capitalization. You might consider telling the story without the first paragraph and let the story led to that. Just a thought. It is good you have been happily married for 26 years.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2022
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First my condolences for your loss. I only have one child (now grown) and would not like to contemplate his passing. I noticed a couple of things. It's not clear if you did or did not go on the Boy Scout trip. Where you say your mother died, the d does not need capitalization. You might consider telling the story without the first paragraph and let the story led to that. Just a thought. It is good you have been happily married for 26 years.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2022
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You are welcome for the $1.02 you received for reviewing this.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Thank you for opening up your heart and sharing this very traumatic time in your life. Losing a child must be one of the hardest things that a parent can face. Someone I know just lost a baby who only lived one week. My heart goes out to them.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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Thank you for opening up your heart and sharing this very traumatic time in your life. Losing a child must be one of the hardest things that a parent can face. Someone I know just lost a baby who only lived one week. My heart goes out to them.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
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You are very welcome
Comment from joann r romei
This made me cry, no one should have to have that happen to them, life is so unfair, and I'm sorry for your loss. I did not notice any spag errors, good luck and Bless you.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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This made me cry, no one should have to have that happen to them, life is so unfair, and I'm sorry for your loss. I did not notice any spag errors, good luck and Bless you.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from F. William Lester
This is a tough one to read. Our son went through something similar, although not deadly, when he wasn't a year old. I feel for you and hope that you've been able to move on (it sounds as though you have). As to the story, if you intend to make this into a full memoir, you'll need to expand on the rift between you and your first wife and then what you discovered in your second wife to make you decide to marry again. Just a thought. Thanks for sharing your story. Good luck in the contest. Stay well.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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This is a tough one to read. Our son went through something similar, although not deadly, when he wasn't a year old. I feel for you and hope that you've been able to move on (it sounds as though you have). As to the story, if you intend to make this into a full memoir, you'll need to expand on the rift between you and your first wife and then what you discovered in your second wife to make you decide to marry again. Just a thought. Thanks for sharing your story. Good luck in the contest. Stay well.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for the good wishes. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
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My pleasure. Enjoy your day.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. It is very written, and the emotion of the situation is well written. I do understand. I lost an infant only 37 days old. Michael died during surgery. He was born with a congenital heart defect. We might have been in German around the same time, first time 1986 -1990 second time 1994 - 1998. Good luck with the contest.
Three years after I got home my mother Died on May 12, 1995. (died)
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. It is very written, and the emotion of the situation is well written. I do understand. I lost an infant only 37 days old. Michael died during surgery. He was born with a congenital heart defect. We might have been in German around the same time, first time 1986 -1990 second time 1994 - 1998. Good luck with the contest.
Three years after I got home my mother Died on May 12, 1995. (died)
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for the good wishes. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
This is a heartfelt personal essay that shows your reaction to the loss of a child. So sorry for your loss. In spots, the writing truly shows your deep grief, but I don't get any sense of the fear you felt during the time Danny was sick. I know it was there, but the piece reads like a list of hospital stays and medical problems. I hope you will try a rewrite that shows your fear before Danny's passing as that is the way the prompt leads.
The "epilogue" is more than final winding up "after the story," I think it is an essential part of the story of your grief. The final paragraph, about your new marriage, is the epilogue.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2022
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This is a heartfelt personal essay that shows your reaction to the loss of a child. So sorry for your loss. In spots, the writing truly shows your deep grief, but I don't get any sense of the fear you felt during the time Danny was sick. I know it was there, but the piece reads like a list of hospital stays and medical problems. I hope you will try a rewrite that shows your fear before Danny's passing as that is the way the prompt leads.
The "epilogue" is more than final winding up "after the story," I think it is an essential part of the story of your grief. The final paragraph, about your new marriage, is the epilogue.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2022
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You are welcome for the $1.02 you received for this review.
Comment from jenintorre
My goodness you have really gone through the mill and back again, my heart goes out to you. I am so pleased that you have found some happiness at last. I wish you good lu k in the competition. Jen.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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My goodness you have really gone through the mill and back again, my heart goes out to you. I am so pleased that you have found some happiness at last. I wish you good lu k in the competition. Jen.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for the good wishes, Jen. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I am sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how you must have felt.
You did a nice job with the prompt as this is a good contest entry.
The story is well written and well presented.
Good luck.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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I am sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how you must have felt.
You did a nice job with the prompt as this is a good contest entry.
The story is well written and well presented.
Good luck.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for the good wishes. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Wendy G
What a sad story! It's devastating. People cope differently but such traumatic events often lead to breakdown of relationships. You write your story well, and also your Epilogue. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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What a sad story! It's devastating. People cope differently but such traumatic events often lead to breakdown of relationships. You write your story well, and also your Epilogue. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 22-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for the good wishes, Wendy. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.