At the Bird Feeder
5-7-5 poem (contest entry)16 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
At the Bird Feeder
by Debra White
What a wonderful entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry Contest. I love the double meaning. The presentation is pretty. Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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At the Bird Feeder
by Debra White
What a wonderful entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry Contest. I love the double meaning. The presentation is pretty. Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hi Gypsy :)
Thank you so much for your lovely feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both!
Best wishes, Debra x
Comment from Melodie Michelle
This poem is good! Maybe could flow a bit better but all in all a good job;-)
Thank you so much for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!
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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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This poem is good! Maybe could flow a bit better but all in all a good job;-)
Thank you so much for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Melodie Michelle, for your feedback and blessings.
It?s tricky to create flow given the constraints of a 5-7-5 poem, but I will try harder next time ;)
Best wishes, Debra
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;-)
Comment from Lulube
awesome photo and your imagery completes their chirping. or are they yacking to each other that it's their landing first and for the other to flock off? great entry, Debra, and all the best for you and your family this 2022.
lulube
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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awesome photo and your imagery completes their chirping. or are they yacking to each other that it's their landing first and for the other to flock off? great entry, Debra, and all the best for you and your family this 2022.
lulube
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hey Lulube :)
Thanks so much for your lovely feedback and generous star rating. I appreciate both! Happy you enjoyed the read :)
Love and best wishes, Debra
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welcome, most welcome
lulube
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Debra,
Nice entry for the 5-7-5 contest! We love watching the winter birds at our feeders. They gather in numbers especially during a blizzard, and we've had three of them in the past week. A storm doesn't seem to bother them at all. They're courageous little birds... chickadees and finches. They fight for every sunflower seed.
I like the way you describe their restaurant as a "seedy joint". That's subtle humor. Love it!
I also like the alliteration of "avian artistes" to describe the birds, and the d's and t's of "dinner time duet" for your finish.
I like your new picture. Where's Yorkshire? My wife and I like to watch "Escape To The Country"... couples are shown three homes (one a mystery home) to possibly purchase, or at least help them on their way. It's a great TV program that shows what England is like. There are a lot of barns that have been turned into dwellings, and very old cottages with thatched rooves. The countryside is very pretty. I'd love to visit some castle ruins if I ever get over there someday. (But I don't think I'd have the nerve to cross the Atlantic.)
Good Luck in the contest!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hi Debra,
Nice entry for the 5-7-5 contest! We love watching the winter birds at our feeders. They gather in numbers especially during a blizzard, and we've had three of them in the past week. A storm doesn't seem to bother them at all. They're courageous little birds... chickadees and finches. They fight for every sunflower seed.
I like the way you describe their restaurant as a "seedy joint". That's subtle humor. Love it!
I also like the alliteration of "avian artistes" to describe the birds, and the d's and t's of "dinner time duet" for your finish.
I like your new picture. Where's Yorkshire? My wife and I like to watch "Escape To The Country"... couples are shown three homes (one a mystery home) to possibly purchase, or at least help them on their way. It's a great TV program that shows what England is like. There are a lot of barns that have been turned into dwellings, and very old cottages with thatched rooves. The countryside is very pretty. I'd love to visit some castle ruins if I ever get over there someday. (But I don't think I'd have the nerve to cross the Atlantic.)
Good Luck in the contest!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hi Kimbob :) thank you so much for your lovely feedback. Glad to hear the birds are still visiting, despite the blizzards!
I love to watch ?Escape To The Country?, too!
Yorkshire is a beautiful, very rural part of North England. We have 4 counties; North, South, East and West Yorkshire, and our main cities are York, Leeds and Sheffield. If you have ever seen ?Emmerdale? on the TV, you can see for yourself what a green and gorgeous part of the world we live in! Within a 15 mile radius from my home, there are 2 castle ruins - Pontefract castle and Conisborough castle. Give them a google!
Talk again soon :)
Debs x
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I definitely will, Debra. I'd love to visit the English countryside, especially Port Isaac where they film "Doc Martin". We're big fans of that series. I'd also like to visit Scotland. The McAdam clan is a sect of the MacGregor clan. I'm sure we came from an ancestor called Adam MacGregor.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, At the Bird Feeder, has the right set up and witnesses two birds singing for their supper while ingesting a seedy assortment. Neat.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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This 5-7-5, At the Bird Feeder, has the right set up and witnesses two birds singing for their supper while ingesting a seedy assortment. Neat.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hi Bill, thank you for your kind feedback.
Best wishes, Debra :)
Comment from giraffmang
hi Debra,
I really like this one. It's fun and clever. All syllables present and correct, which is always nice. this is good and I hope it does wqqell in the competition
All the best
G
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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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hi Debra,
I really like this one. It's fun and clever. All syllables present and correct, which is always nice. this is good and I hope it does wqqell in the competition
All the best
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hi G :)
Thank you so much for your lovely feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both!
Best wishes, Debra x