Wilderness Redemption Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Everybody Hurts"Shenanigans on the frontier
19 total reviews
Comment from GeraldShuler
You did a good job of building characters for a book. The wide scope of this chapter leaves multiple directions for the reader to follow. This will be a really good book.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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You did a good job of building characters for a book. The wide scope of this chapter leaves multiple directions for the reader to follow. This will be a really good book.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the five stars. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
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I didn't notice that this was chapter 22. You REALLY built good characters to be so consistent with them that I got to know them even as a first time reader.
Comment from aryr
This was a great continuation chapter, Earl. Clancy was absolutely right, the young guy would never find Pittsburgh on his own but Mighty Beaver could and would. Poor Doo was facing the gauntlet and Roseanna and Janie faced taming. Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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This was a great continuation chapter, Earl. Clancy was absolutely right, the young guy would never find Pittsburgh on his own but Mighty Beaver could and would. Poor Doo was facing the gauntlet and Roseanna and Janie faced taming. Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the five stars. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
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Most welcome, Earl.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Earl Corp your chapter in the book Wilderness Redemption Road
Everybody Hurts
How nice of you to space your lines, I found it a smooth and well written chapter to read. I liked how you introduced each of your paragraphs.
An example ----
A clearing near Smythe's Post
Ohio Territory
In other words I found your writing well done.
Gert
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Earl Corp your chapter in the book Wilderness Redemption Road
Everybody Hurts
How nice of you to space your lines, I found it a smooth and well written chapter to read. I liked how you introduced each of your paragraphs.
An example ----
A clearing near Smythe's Post
Ohio Territory
In other words I found your writing well done.
Gert
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the six stars Gert. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
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You are most welcome
Earl Corp
Gert
Comment from BethShelby
I'm enjoying the story. It is been a while sense I read any of it and I'm trying to remember how they came to be in this condition. I'm hoping help will be on the way for them soon. Since Roseanne is the story teller, I know she got of this predicament.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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I'm enjoying the story. It is been a while sense I read any of it and I'm trying to remember how they came to be in this condition. I'm hoping help will be on the way for them soon. Since Roseanne is the story teller, I know she got of this predicament.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the five stars. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Sophie Terrell
I nearly forgot what I was here to do; I was so immersed in your storytelling that I nearly felt like I was there! Or at the very least, sitting somewhere reading a real book! I can tell you put a lot of research into your chapters, and it pays off. You have an attention to detail that must be commended, and a writing style that is easy to follow. Your footnotes are very helpful, as I seem to have jumped in the middle of your chapter book. I will have to check out your other works. Great job, and I am looking forward to more from you!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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I nearly forgot what I was here to do; I was so immersed in your storytelling that I nearly felt like I was there! Or at the very least, sitting somewhere reading a real book! I can tell you put a lot of research into your chapters, and it pays off. You have an attention to detail that must be commended, and a writing style that is easy to follow. Your footnotes are very helpful, as I seem to have jumped in the middle of your chapter book. I will have to check out your other works. Great job, and I am looking forward to more from you!
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the six stars I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Ethan Vandervelden
Hey there, this chapter is looking great! I like your use of language and "western speak". I only saw a couple potential SPAG's:
"He looks like a fish I caught {and} has been thrown on the bank," Swooping Eagle thought. --(that ?)
As {quit} as he could he eared back the hammer. --(quiet ?)
Overall it was a very enjoyable read and I think you have something pretty good here!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Hey there, this chapter is looking great! I like your use of language and "western speak". I only saw a couple potential SPAG's:
"He looks like a fish I caught {and} has been thrown on the bank," Swooping Eagle thought. --(that ?)
As {quit} as he could he eared back the hammer. --(quiet ?)
Overall it was a very enjoyable read and I think you have something pretty good here!
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the five stars. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I find, as I think, truly speaking, you care to express your experience, in order to make the characters realistic, you express the truths thru them; none cares much, emotionally does the same mistakes; really, everybody hurts; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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I find, as I think, truly speaking, you care to express your experience, in order to make the characters realistic, you express the truths thru them; none cares much, emotionally does the same mistakes; really, everybody hurts; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the five stars ALCREATOR LITT DEAR. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
You have a barn-burner going. And the dialogue flows.
The feelings of anger and helplessness came rushing back to her has the thoughts of Smythe's treachery were as vivid as the day they happened. - This sentence is unclear.
"I thought he was awake?." You don't need the question mark and the period, both.
at the girls defiance - girls need a possessive apostrophe
A read-through with an editor's eye would help. I did not address every issue.
Keep at it and good luck.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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You have a barn-burner going. And the dialogue flows.
The feelings of anger and helplessness came rushing back to her has the thoughts of Smythe's treachery were as vivid as the day they happened. - This sentence is unclear.
"I thought he was awake?." You don't need the question mark and the period, both.
at the girls defiance - girls need a possessive apostrophe
A read-through with an editor's eye would help. I did not address every issue.
Keep at it and good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the pointers. I thought I'd edited it well enough. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from Shirley McLain
A wonderful story that I enjoyed reading very much. The best I can remember this is the first chapter I have read. It's active, with strong characters and the dialogue is great. Good job. Shirley
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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A wonderful story that I enjoyed reading very much. The best I can remember this is the first chapter I have read. It's active, with strong characters and the dialogue is great. Good job. Shirley
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the six stars Shirley. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
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You're very welcome and you deserved the six.