To Ride a Unicorn
A poem42 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
To Ride a Unicorn
by damommy
Excellent fantasy poem. The rhymes do not seem forced. Your poem flows well. It draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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To Ride a Unicorn
by damommy
Excellent fantasy poem. The rhymes do not seem forced. Your poem flows well. It draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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Thank you for these lovely comments.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant. Fabulous flight of fancy--a whimsical tour de force with a clever twist. The imagery is magnificent--great phrasing rendered in graceful flow and rhyme.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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Brilliant. Fabulous flight of fancy--a whimsical tour de force with a clever twist. The imagery is magnificent--great phrasing rendered in graceful flow and rhyme.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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Thank you. Lovely comments.
Comment from karenina
Just a lovely and well-metered and rhymed poem, with a theme near and dear to my own heart as my granddaughter (even at 13) has a real "thing" for unicorns! The message is both sweetly rendered and deeply spiritual--and reading it this day after Christmas makes me smile!
Karenina
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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Just a lovely and well-metered and rhymed poem, with a theme near and dear to my own heart as my granddaughter (even at 13) has a real "thing" for unicorns! The message is both sweetly rendered and deeply spiritual--and reading it this day after Christmas makes me smile!
Karenina
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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I'm so glad it made you smile. I love unicorns, too, and my oldest granddaughter always did before she grew up. Thank you, Karenina.
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Emy loves a little unicorn figurine every Christmas...I hope she never grows out of it!
Karenina
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Yvonne,
What a delightful poem. I loved the way it all came together so well. It was really easy to read. Your poem captures the reality that so many people have experienced, searching for answers in all that the world has to offer, becoming disillusioned and disappointed and finally discovering that God has been the answer all along. Well done gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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Hello Yvonne,
What a delightful poem. I loved the way it all came together so well. It was really easy to read. Your poem captures the reality that so many people have experienced, searching for answers in all that the world has to offer, becoming disillusioned and disappointed and finally discovering that God has been the answer all along. Well done gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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We're so intent on our hectic days, we sometimes forget what is so obvious. Thank you, Tom.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Yvonne.
This is outstanding. The rhyme and meter in the verse is wonderful and as you take a verbal journey through the universe you expressed your belief in the final line. God is eternal and He created all there is. Great job. One of your best.
Your poem has excellent construction and meaning. Your expression is clear and understandable to all.
Robert
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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Hello Yvonne.
This is outstanding. The rhyme and meter in the verse is wonderful and as you take a verbal journey through the universe you expressed your belief in the final line. God is eternal and He created all there is. Great job. One of your best.
Your poem has excellent construction and meaning. Your expression is clear and understandable to all.
Robert
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate your lovely comments.
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You're very welcome.
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I'm not sure what happened here. I selected six stars for this piece. Now it will not allow me to upgrade it to six.
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Please don't worry about that. I'm happy you like it. That's enough for me.
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You deserve a six for this one.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This poem must have a 6 for more than one reason. It is beautiful and vividly descriptive, flowing smoothly from delightful whinsy to solid
Christian logic. :-)
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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This poem must have a 6 for more than one reason. It is beautiful and vividly descriptive, flowing smoothly from delightful whinsy to solid
Christian logic. :-)
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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Thank you! I'm so happy you like it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You are correct. Everything we need to know is in the Bible. God gave it to use as an example and then even sent Jesus to show us how it's done. We still get it wrong. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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You are correct. Everything we need to know is in the Bible. God gave it to use as an example and then even sent Jesus to show us how it's done. We still get it wrong. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from AnnieDawn
A wonderful way to spin the fantasy and then bring us back to earth again. I love the way you have put this together. Just enough, and it reads smoothly and well. Thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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A wonderful way to spin the fantasy and then bring us back to earth again. I love the way you have put this together. Just enough, and it reads smoothly and well. Thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed it.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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I'm so glad you did. Thank you.
Comment from June Sargent
What a wonderful poem to inspire us at the end of a really weird year! It was enough to make everyone want to take off on unicorns into the realm where angels sing. But, as you aptly put it - all the answers to life's big questions are in the Holy Scriptures. We just need to read it and apply the timeless wisdom found in those pages. Thank you for sharing this lovely poem.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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What a wonderful poem to inspire us at the end of a really weird year! It was enough to make everyone want to take off on unicorns into the realm where angels sing. But, as you aptly put it - all the answers to life's big questions are in the Holy Scriptures. We just need to read it and apply the timeless wisdom found in those pages. Thank you for sharing this lovely poem.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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Thank you for this lovely review.
Comment from Pantygynt
The idea of riding a unicorn to find answers to questions is a marvelous thought - a kind of metaphor for all those things we want to know and which the poem claims by the time we reach its end are available already if we look in the right place.
Moving on to a question of form. This is written for the most part in ballad metre (alternating iambic tetrameter and trimeter with an abcb rhyme scheme. I say for the most part because in plotting your line break after 'moonlight' instead of after 'while' you have sacrificed form on the altar of sense.
'and bask in silver moonlight
while a choir of angels sings.'
Technically this should be set out as:
'and bask in silver moonlight while
a choir of angels sings.'
In the very next stanza you adopt the opposite philosophy writing:
'Just maybe I'd find answers to
the many questions asked,'
Where had you been consistent you would have written:
'Just maybe I'd find answers
to the many questions asked,'
I think in a poem that is otherwise so regular it might be considered more correct to observe the metre and let the reader work out the sense, but whichever you opt for, I think you should be consistent.
It is a minor point and many will probably not even notice it, but i felt it was something I should point out.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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The idea of riding a unicorn to find answers to questions is a marvelous thought - a kind of metaphor for all those things we want to know and which the poem claims by the time we reach its end are available already if we look in the right place.
Moving on to a question of form. This is written for the most part in ballad metre (alternating iambic tetrameter and trimeter with an abcb rhyme scheme. I say for the most part because in plotting your line break after 'moonlight' instead of after 'while' you have sacrificed form on the altar of sense.
'and bask in silver moonlight
while a choir of angels sings.'
Technically this should be set out as:
'and bask in silver moonlight while
a choir of angels sings.'
In the very next stanza you adopt the opposite philosophy writing:
'Just maybe I'd find answers to
the many questions asked,'
Where had you been consistent you would have written:
'Just maybe I'd find answers
to the many questions asked,'
I think in a poem that is otherwise so regular it might be considered more correct to observe the metre and let the reader work out the sense, but whichever you opt for, I think you should be consistent.
It is a minor point and many will probably not even notice it, but i felt it was something I should point out.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2021
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I'm glad you did. Thank you.
