Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Revenge - Chap 32"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
16 total reviews
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
This chapter is realistic and you have created a suspenseful drama. Why Mariam is taking so much risk trying to rescue the girls. There is always some danger lurking in the corner. Interesting chapter. keep them coming!
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This chapter is realistic and you have created a suspenseful drama. Why Mariam is taking so much risk trying to rescue the girls. There is always some danger lurking in the corner. Interesting chapter. keep them coming!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
Comment from Wendy G
The next day will be difficult until the showdown begins. It is not sounding good for Allie, but hopefully good will triumph in the end!!! Don't know how Marian, Cheryl and Tiffany will rescue all the other girls either, but I am sure you have it all worked out! Full of suspense and intrigue!!
Wendy
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The next day will be difficult until the showdown begins. It is not sounding good for Allie, but hopefully good will triumph in the end!!! Don't know how Marian, Cheryl and Tiffany will rescue all the other girls either, but I am sure you have it all worked out! Full of suspense and intrigue!!
Wendy
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
Comment from lyenochka
I wonder why Moretti is setting up a double date at Francine's. He's meeting Sam to show of Jaz, it seems. But he is also inviting Allie. I guess he's going to offer both Jaz and Allie to Sam for their presumed client?
"If you've hurt her, I'm going--Garth (close quotes before the dash)
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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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I wonder why Moretti is setting up a double date at Francine's. He's meeting Sam to show of Jaz, it seems. But he is also inviting Allie. I guess he's going to offer both Jaz and Allie to Sam for their presumed client?
"If you've hurt her, I'm going--Garth (close quotes before the dash)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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He's meeting Sam because she insisted on seeing the girl he was using for their millionaire client because she insisted. He is inviting Allie because he plans on abducting her.... Jaz is already held hostage at the mansion. Sorry for the confusion.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Great chapter, full of suspense. You leave us on the edge of our seats, waiting for the next chapter. Marian's attempt to rescue all the girls could put all of them in further danger, I think. Looking forward to the next chapter. Blessings. Carol
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Great chapter, full of suspense. You leave us on the edge of our seats, waiting for the next chapter. Marian's attempt to rescue all the girls could put all of them in further danger, I think. Looking forward to the next chapter. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Chilling. The suspense is excruciating. You manage brilliant work once again--the scenarios and interactions are vivid and realistic. Things are coming together!
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Chilling. The suspense is excruciating. You manage brilliant work once again--the scenarios and interactions are vivid and realistic. Things are coming together!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
Comment from lancellot
Very good. Nice tension and sense of danger in both scenes for different reasons.
notes:
"(No, sir.) [I am telling you the truth.] This guy came up to my newspaper stand and handed me the package and a hundred-dollar bill. He told me to bring it here and do it fast. Had this big ugly snake ring on his hand."
- suggest deleting the first part and moving the second part to the end. (he had told anything yet)
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
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Very good. Nice tension and sense of danger in both scenes for different reasons.
notes:
"(No, sir.) [I am telling you the truth.] This guy came up to my newspaper stand and handed me the package and a hundred-dollar bill. He told me to bring it here and do it fast. Had this big ugly snake ring on his hand."
- suggest deleting the first part and moving the second part to the end. (he had told anything yet)
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
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Thanks so much, Lance. You honor me with your comments and the golden stars. I always value your opinions and after reading it again, I agree on the suggested changes. Thanks so much.
Have a great evening. smiles, Carol