Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Revenge - Chap 18"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
23 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Hmmm... I wonder if I'm starting to see some light here. But, knowing you, it could be another red herring. Very interesting. Nicely done and highly entertaining.
A note:
--> The form-fitting navy suit caressed every (curve),
Thanks!
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2021
  |
Carol,
Hmmm... I wonder if I'm starting to see some light here. But, knowing you, it could be another red herring. Very interesting. Nicely done and highly entertaining.
A note:
--> The form-fitting navy suit caressed every (curve),
Thanks!
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2021
-
Just kicked that "s" off the curve and it went bouncing down the road.
Thanks for the pointer and the review. I am glad you still find the story to be entertaining and it is keeping you wondering where it's headed.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
As the saying goes, "there's a sucker born every minute." And, "When you can't spot the sucker in two minutes, tag you're it." Never bite the bait that bites back. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2021
|
As the saying goes, "there's a sucker born every minute." And, "When you can't spot the sucker in two minutes, tag you're it." Never bite the bait that bites back. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2021
-
Honesty is the best policy... Is this story still holding your interest as much as my other writing? I fear I might lose the point and go off track because my brain is so screwed up. I'd rather not write than put out something that wasn't up to par.
Hugs, Carol
-
Your writing is outstanding as always! But, even if it wasn't, one screwed up brain to another, I wouldn't be the one to ask. LOL. Hugs, Ric
Comment from Carol Clark2
More interesting twists in the plotline. I'm glad you're continuing to write your book. I hope that means your pressures are lessening, or you have some time to yourself. Wondering what else Samantha has in store for James.
Have a blessed weekend.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2021
|
More interesting twists in the plotline. I'm glad you're continuing to write your book. I hope that means your pressures are lessening, or you have some time to yourself. Wondering what else Samantha has in store for James.
Have a blessed weekend.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2021
-
I am most definitely trying to write so I can keep my mind straight. I hope I am doing justice to the story. No "ADULTS" this morning so I started writing at 3 and the girls (other than wanting to make two breakfasts - they like to cook with me) have been wonderful.
Thank you for the review. Hope your day is perfect!
Hugs, Carol
-
The girls will look back on this time with you and remember your love and joy. Glad you had a great morning.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was great! She has comfirmed his suspicions that is was her heady perfume, which has brought him nicely on-board. He knows she would do anything to get her business started and even compromising Welcher. That was an excellent ploy to make her scheme more believeable to James. I'm hoping one of the redheads is Allie's sister, and they can save her. Another superb chapter, my clever friend! Love and hugs. Sandra xxxxx
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
That was great! She has comfirmed his suspicions that is was her heady perfume, which has brought him nicely on-board. He knows she would do anything to get her business started and even compromising Welcher. That was an excellent ploy to make her scheme more believeable to James. I'm hoping one of the redheads is Allie's sister, and they can save her. Another superb chapter, my clever friend! Love and hugs. Sandra xxxxx
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
My apologies for responding with a thank you so late, but know I truly appreciate your time and the review.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
What is it with dirty old men? lol. You've done a great job in portraying two of them, Carol. Money and sex is there only interest. It will be fun to see how this goes down. I'm hoping no more women are done away with before they get caught. Another good chapter.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
What is it with dirty old men? lol. You've done a great job in portraying two of them, Carol. Money and sex is there only interest. It will be fun to see how this goes down. I'm hoping no more women are done away with before they get caught. Another good chapter.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
My apologies for responding with a thank you so late, but know I truly appreciate your time and the review.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from lancellot
I would surprised with James has really taken the bait from Samantha. It is not like he hasn't had plenty of beautiful women. Actually, shouldn't he be immune to or bored with that by now? I can't wait for the plot twist. I doubt you'd kill off Sam, but I don't think things will go as she has planned.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
 |
I would surprised with James has really taken the bait from Samantha. It is not like he hasn't had plenty of beautiful women. Actually, shouldn't he be immune to or bored with that by now? I can't wait for the plot twist. I doubt you'd kill off Sam, but I don't think things will go as she has planned.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
My apologies for responding with a thank you so late, but know I truly appreciate your time and the review.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Samantha is certainly quite a character, and likes to live dangerously, and fearlessly. You portray her character well, as well as James' character with his greed and lust blinding him to everything. Well written chapter. But I fear that the two red-heads will be Allie and Jasmine, and that will not be an easy set-up that they will be embroiled in!!
Wendy
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
Samantha is certainly quite a character, and likes to live dangerously, and fearlessly. You portray her character well, as well as James' character with his greed and lust blinding him to everything. Well written chapter. But I fear that the two red-heads will be Allie and Jasmine, and that will not be an easy set-up that they will be embroiled in!!
Wendy
Comment Written 12-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
My apologies for responding with a thank you so late, but know I truly appreciate your time and the review.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Whoa! That Samantha is just fearless! I guess she had it all planned out. But I'm wondering what previous entanglements she had with the sheriff and if James knew about that. It's good that James took the bait. Hope all the teams can make it happen.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
Whoa! That Samantha is just fearless! I guess she had it all planned out. But I'm wondering what previous entanglements she had with the sheriff and if James knew about that. It's good that James took the bait. Hope all the teams can make it happen.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
My apologies for responding with a thank you so late, but know I truly appreciate your time and the review.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am guessing Jasmine and Allie are the two red headed, correct? I am really liking this story.
Glimpsing Marian in an upstairs window, she twirled around, swaying in the sunlight with abandon. (abandon???? Doesn't make sense.)
everyone he came face to face with (face-to-face)
My client wants a camera in the room, and he will take the film with him when he leaves so that he can enjoy his private viewings." (You can omit 'that')
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2021
|
I am guessing Jasmine and Allie are the two red headed, correct? I am really liking this story.
Glimpsing Marian in an upstairs window, she twirled around, swaying in the sunlight with abandon. (abandon???? Doesn't make sense.)
everyone he came face to face with (face-to-face)
My client wants a camera in the room, and he will take the film with him when he leaves so that he can enjoy his private viewings." (You can omit 'that')
Comment Written 12-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2021
-
Fixed as recommended and sending you a huge thank you. It was nice to have a quiet day to write but now they are all ascending on me. Thank you for the review and your suggestions.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Jay Squires
I love your writing voice, Carol. It is so smooth and unadorned, perfect for your genre that is plot-driven, stripped of all nonsense. Your characters are potentially redeeming and likeable which is a necessary ingredient for a successful novel.
Here are a few notes I made as I read along:
James admired her innocent beauty from the library window, [To me it sounds anything but innocent, especially given the earlier description of how she planned her wardrobe. Perhaps if you qualified with an adjective such as "deceptively"]
A discreet knock on the door startled both of them. Charles eyed the two and then addressed his boss. [Carol, I think you need a transition between the two sentences since the first sentence describes James and Samantha's reaction and the next sentence the door has already opened, with Charles looking at them. In my opinion, the second sentence should start a new paragraph.
James stood and walked away, admiring the roses but not saying anything. [I'm not sure I would use "walked away" here since it immediately connects with the previous line, "They can walk away with a smile on their face," and creates an echo.
Again, I've enjoyed your chapter and won't hesitate to read more of your contributions again.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2021
|
I love your writing voice, Carol. It is so smooth and unadorned, perfect for your genre that is plot-driven, stripped of all nonsense. Your characters are potentially redeeming and likeable which is a necessary ingredient for a successful novel.
Here are a few notes I made as I read along:
James admired her innocent beauty from the library window, [To me it sounds anything but innocent, especially given the earlier description of how she planned her wardrobe. Perhaps if you qualified with an adjective such as "deceptively"]
A discreet knock on the door startled both of them. Charles eyed the two and then addressed his boss. [Carol, I think you need a transition between the two sentences since the first sentence describes James and Samantha's reaction and the next sentence the door has already opened, with Charles looking at them. In my opinion, the second sentence should start a new paragraph.
James stood and walked away, admiring the roses but not saying anything. [I'm not sure I would use "walked away" here since it immediately connects with the previous line, "They can walk away with a smile on their face," and creates an echo.
Again, I've enjoyed your chapter and won't hesitate to read more of your contributions again.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2021
-
Thanks so much, Jay, for reading, reviewing and pointing out things my brain knew but didn't change. I've corrected them now and I appreciate the help. Caring for 5 grandchildren and trying to write doesn't balance to well at least not for me. I need all the help I can get. Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you again.
Hugs, Carol