Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 55 "Football Chapter 29 part 1"
A mother faces life's struggles.

25 total reviews 
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An excellent chapter! Full of interest and making the reader want more. Are those dogs free to search for the intruder? Exciting game and consequences. Looking forward to the next.
Wendy

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I hope your wrist is mending nicely. You're brave to try to do the typing. Lots of problems in this chapter. Putting Jordan in the game so soon after his injury was risky, but it turned out all right except for the other coach having a fit. Gabriel was wise not to take the bait and get into a fight. Shows he has matured since his days as a pro player. Low batteries in the cell phone and a flat tire add to the problems. I'm wondering what happened to the spare tire and the jack. How did it happen they were missing? The open mike thing was an embarrassing, but that sort of thing does happen. Great work. I hope your wrist continues to improve. You're brave to try writing by finger typing. judi

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. Many new cars come without a jack and a spare. It happened to me and didn't find out about it until I had a flat. I called the car dealer and was told they rarely do it any more.
reply by judiverse on 04-Oct-2021
    Thanks so much for your review and comments. The car I have is about 15 years old now, so I have no experience with the new ones. I couldn't imagine a car not having a jack and a spare tire. That certainly added to the complications. judi
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
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With all the excitement you've put into this chapter, the length goes unnoticed, Barbara. I like how you put a stop to the kissing to avoid further escalation. :) The football game was a real surprise, as was the flat tire. Well done.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I did not know you hurt your wrist. Your story is as always good and you did get the two together now to settle the future. My prayers for you. Good one, Barb

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Katherine sent a text Gabriel. (to)

sorry about your wrist, Barbara. Hope they can somehow fix it without surgery. Take care of yourself. In the meantime, the story was absolutely terrific as usual. I love how the every day things are bringing them closer and how Gabriel is giving it his best to not be the person Katherine shuns.

Well done! I enjoyed it very much. Hugs, Carol

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you for the kind review and understanding.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi Barbara, I have somehow miscalculated, so no six left over for this wonderful chapter. I'm so sorry. I hope they can soon show the world what they feel for each other. It's about time. I only found a minor thing:
Katherine sent a text Gabriel. = Katherine sent a text to Gabriel.
Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. Not a problem with the six.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

So sorry I forgot about your wrist. In spite of everything, still a great read.
Just a couple of things to look at. that'd put you and (the??)boys in jeopardy."

EITHER Katherine sent a text (to)Gabriel.
OR Katherine texted Gabriel.


 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you for the kind review and catching the errors..
Comment from Anne Johnston
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another great chapter, very well done, considering that you have a broken wrist. I hope you do not need surgery, but maybe that will be the answer.
I am used to reading a book in a few hours, so taking this chapter by chapter is good for me - helps my patience.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you for the kind review and understanding.
reply by Anne Johnston on 05-Oct-2021
    You are welcome
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You nailed it again--brilliantly nuanced interaction.

typos:

Once the ladies and the three boys found a seat in Viking Stadium, Katherine [OMIT sent a] texted Gabriel.

Once Gabriel received the text he faced the visitor's stands and searched. [When he had eyes on ???], he grinned and waved.

Harold â?"

Gabriel â?"

Gabriel checked [it=>HIS] text.

As she bite=>BIT her lower lip

Sorry about your wrist--hadn't known that! How/when?

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 03-Oct-2021
    A week ago Friday. I put everything on last weeks post. I must have made the corrections as you were reading. Thank you for the support.
reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 03-Oct-2021
    Perhaps I missed last week's post --- will rectify!
reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 03-Oct-2021
    I'm caught up--sorry for the oversight!
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It's fine, Barbara. Do what you must in order to post but be safe at the same time. I can't wait until Gabriel and Katherine can be together by themselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ugh, it's so annoying with how long this is taking lol. But I'm in for the ride.) I'm not much of a football fan, don't really watch the sport but I enjoyed this chapter. And let, me say I'm very glad Gabriel kept his cool. All men need to.

You do have several typos:

Katherine (sent a texted) Gabriel.

"Dad, do something about that (da)...stupid mic!

Harold (â?") "Son, what were you thinking?"

Gabriel( â?")

Once Gabriel received the text( )he faced the visitor's stands and searched. When he had eyes on(), he grinned and waved.


Can't wait for the next chapter!

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 03-Oct-2021
    I have made the corrections. Thank you.
reply by AJ McCall on 03-Oct-2021
    You're welcome!