The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Chronicles Of Bethica"Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings
12 total reviews
Comment from royowen
It seems the drake is very clever and can think, it has been harassing the Tombakni for quite a while now. They are very religious much like the Catholic Church was some centuries, treating with suspicion, any use of magic. Interesting chapter Amahra, very well written, beautifully done, blessings Roy
Typo : Hayman's seeming(ly) change of heart. 2: the long(ed) to be noted.
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reply by the author on 22-Aug-2021
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It seems the drake is very clever and can think, it has been harassing the Tombakni for quite a while now. They are very religious much like the Catholic Church was some centuries, treating with suspicion, any use of magic. Interesting chapter Amahra, very well written, beautifully done, blessings Roy
Typo : Hayman's seeming(ly) change of heart. 2: the long(ed) to be noted.
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Comment Written 22-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Roy for your review and corrections. I put the [ed] on longed, but [ly] was already on seemingly. So, I was confused.
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Seemingly didn?t seem to be grammatically correct Amahra
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Is this better? "Delighted with what seemed as Hayman's change of heart...."
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is very good writing. I enjoyed reading this addition to your novel. I am extremely worried about this Drake.
The Bowmen and swordsmen met Gangus and the others on deck, (doubt 'Bowmen' should have a capital 'B')
Gangus wisely didn't reveal its power but said that it was only good for keeping his balance due to an old war wound. (you can omit 'that')
Still, he didn't want to accept The priest's hospitality on a lie. (either The Priest or the priest)
Much like this one before we were forced to go underground," he said, appearing said as he looked about. (I think you meant appearing sad as it he looked about.)
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reply by the author on 22-Aug-2021
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This is very good writing. I enjoyed reading this addition to your novel. I am extremely worried about this Drake.
The Bowmen and swordsmen met Gangus and the others on deck, (doubt 'Bowmen' should have a capital 'B')
Gangus wisely didn't reveal its power but said that it was only good for keeping his balance due to an old war wound. (you can omit 'that')
Still, he didn't want to accept The priest's hospitality on a lie. (either The Priest or the priest)
Much like this one before we were forced to go underground," he said, appearing said as he looked about. (I think you meant appearing sad as it he looked about.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Barbara, for your review.