Love's Light
A Choka Poem-for the club challenge18 total reviews
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is an interesting example of this style of poetry. I read it over several times, and without punctuation, it is a little hard to follow. Maybe the rules say you can't use or don't need punctuation to get the many thoughts across...I don't know. The choice of the descriptive words sounds charming, and she seems like a lovely woman. I like how the poem ends with the title of the piece. It ties it up in a neat little package that way. I'd say that the last line is my favorite line.
Thank you for trying a new poetry style...I appreciate the effort you put into it.
Have a wonderful day, my friend,
Jesse
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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This is an interesting example of this style of poetry. I read it over several times, and without punctuation, it is a little hard to follow. Maybe the rules say you can't use or don't need punctuation to get the many thoughts across...I don't know. The choice of the descriptive words sounds charming, and she seems like a lovely woman. I like how the poem ends with the title of the piece. It ties it up in a neat little package that way. I'd say that the last line is my favorite line.
Thank you for trying a new poetry style...I appreciate the effort you put into it.
Have a wonderful day, my friend,
Jesse
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Thank you Jesse, I am learning about punctuation-but worry I don't quite understand-when, where, or why it should be implemented, I am trying to find an app that may help me, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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That would be a great idea to find an app to help you with punctuation.
Have a good day, my friend,
Jesse
Comment from June Sargent
I really enjoyed your interpretation of this artwork for the club challenge! It was lyrical, mystical and magical. The scarlet ibis nesting contentedly highlighted the peace and serenity of the pond.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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I really enjoyed your interpretation of this artwork for the club challenge! It was lyrical, mystical and magical. The scarlet ibis nesting contentedly highlighted the peace and serenity of the pond.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Wow! Thank you so very much, I enjoyed trying this form and I am so happy you read what I tried to say, your comments and six wonderful stars are very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Kahpot,
This is an excellent choka poem.
The syllable count is correct, and the words you use:moonlight, bliss, innocence give nice imagery to your work.
Excellent poem.
Cindy
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Kahpot,
This is an excellent choka poem.
The syllable count is correct, and the words you use:moonlight, bliss, innocence give nice imagery to your work.
Excellent poem.
Cindy
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much, I did enjoy trying this form, and I am glad you liked this one, very much appreciated****kahpot
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You?re welcome, Kahpot.
Comment from tfawcus
This is an ekphrastic Choka that describes the picture very well. Your explanation adds depth, and I like the way you have drawn a parallel between the rising nymph and the ibis on her shoulder.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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This is an ekphrastic Choka that describes the picture very well. Your explanation adds depth, and I like the way you have drawn a parallel between the rising nymph and the ibis on her shoulder.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much, just recently understood ekphrastic, and now enjoy describing what I see, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Dilettante junior
Excellent poem my dear. It feels dreamy in the beauty of the words chosen. There is an intimate feel to this companionship which makes it even more appealing. The imagery is simply outstanding. Nature enhances this serenade, step by step.
Well done!
Cheers,
DJ
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Excellent poem my dear. It feels dreamy in the beauty of the words chosen. There is an intimate feel to this companionship which makes it even more appealing. The imagery is simply outstanding. Nature enhances this serenade, step by step.
Well done!
Cheers,
DJ
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Thank your for your encouraging comments, I did enjoy trying this form and glad you liked it, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Theodore McDowell
I think I remember a similar poem for your club. I actually like this version better and feel like it coordinates with the picture better. It presents a nice visual image. Nice work.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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I think I remember a similar poem for your club. I actually like this version better and feel like it coordinates with the picture better. It presents a nice visual image. Nice work.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much, yes sometimes the club supplies the image, so ideas may clash, but it is fun learning different forms, your comments are very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from lyenochka
Loved the feeling that your poem gives me from the fantasy-mystical ethereal scenery to a very concrete feeling about the companionship that that leads to a tangible contentment with love's light.
I'm always such a literalist when it comes to Nature so here are some comments and you can change or disregard. There are also some spags for you to consider:
beneath green lillies (lilies) - actually these are lotus leaves but I like the idea of green lilies
hiding beyond moonlights gaze (moonlight's)
aluminates freedoms bliss (illuminates freedom's)
red heron nestles (scarlet ibis) I mentioned this to Gypsy that the bird is a scarlet ibis as a heron's beak is straight and I don't think there are any red ones. There are reddish egrets. But this is up to you. It could be a fantasy bird.
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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Loved the feeling that your poem gives me from the fantasy-mystical ethereal scenery to a very concrete feeling about the companionship that that leads to a tangible contentment with love's light.
I'm always such a literalist when it comes to Nature so here are some comments and you can change or disregard. There are also some spags for you to consider:
beneath green lillies (lilies) - actually these are lotus leaves but I like the idea of green lilies
hiding beyond moonlights gaze (moonlight's)
aluminates freedoms bliss (illuminates freedom's)
red heron nestles (scarlet ibis) I mentioned this to Gypsy that the bird is a scarlet ibis as a heron's beak is straight and I don't think there are any red ones. There are reddish egrets. But this is up to you. It could be a fantasy bird.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Many, Many thanks, when I first post I try to view reviews ASAP. as I know I need to correct, I have used all your help and changed words, hope this does not affect your FYI. pump that you afforded this work, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Love your new version, Kahpot!
By the way, did you intend that blank line before the last line?
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OPPPS, was to engrossed implementing the help many thanks****kahpot
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Love's Light", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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"Love's Light", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much, I enjoyed trying this new form of verse, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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****kahpot, you're very welcome. The new form is more than interesting.
God bless you,
the Duchess
