I'll Be There
If Tomorrow Never Comes...18 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
This is such a well-written story, full of drama, full of real life with its love, and despair, frustration, need for forgiveness .... What a pity that her special evening was memorable for all the wrong reasons - and yet - God had given them another chance. A positive ending. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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This is such a well-written story, full of drama, full of real life with its love, and despair, frustration, need for forgiveness .... What a pity that her special evening was memorable for all the wrong reasons - and yet - God had given them another chance. A positive ending. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Positive...that's the word of the day! Covid has put so many in tough times both emotionally and mentally... Remembering we all get second chances if we try seemed the right thing to do. Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Well, for a drunk (I know! He wasn't drunk when he wrote it), he certainly waxes eloquent, like a real writer (like Carol!) wrote the letter.
You've really stumped me here. I was all for Missy leaving and cheering her on but you had make her go back to get her pillow and see that letter. You are a pro at moving our emotions!
One teeny spag:
and your sleeping, (you're)
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Well, for a drunk (I know! He wasn't drunk when he wrote it), he certainly waxes eloquent, like a real writer (like Carol!) wrote the letter.
You've really stumped me here. I was all for Missy leaving and cheering her on but you had make her go back to get her pillow and see that letter. You are a pro at moving our emotions!
One teeny spag:
and your sleeping, (you're)
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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think I need a "writer's physician" to remove my mental block about your - you're. Of course, I know the difference but when I type... my brain certainly prefers the lazy way of writing. LOL thanks Helen for your review and help. smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
He's struggling. His other love is alcohol...and that disease can be fatal to the most stalwart of relationships. Of course I understood why Missy felt she could not take the disappointment one more day...how redemptive, then, when a clearly sober Jacob penned that letter of love and apology and admission he has been powerless, despite best intentions...
Missy will stay... There will be bumps in the road....my heart tells me they'll handle them one day at a time!
The joy of romance fiction is the reader is invested in imagining the ending!
One suggestion?
Opening line.... Might you consider omitting "candle" as the first word! It seems redundant...
Maybe simply "Wax dripped down the melted tapered candles.". ?????
Karenina
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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He's struggling. His other love is alcohol...and that disease can be fatal to the most stalwart of relationships. Of course I understood why Missy felt she could not take the disappointment one more day...how redemptive, then, when a clearly sober Jacob penned that letter of love and apology and admission he has been powerless, despite best intentions...
Missy will stay... There will be bumps in the road....my heart tells me they'll handle them one day at a time!
The joy of romance fiction is the reader is invested in imagining the ending!
One suggestion?
Opening line.... Might you consider omitting "candle" as the first word! It seems redundant...
Maybe simply "Wax dripped down the melted tapered candles.". ?????
Karenina
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Never even realized I wrote the word twice in the same sentence. I think I get so involved imagining the moment that I forget I'm actually just writing. Duh! Fixed and appreciated. Smiles as always, Carol
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Been there, repeated that! (LOL)---We get on a roll sometimes and....
Karenina
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Heartrending--and ultimately heartwarming--I'm a sucker for a second chance--what a heartfelt letter--I was captivated--all he wrote rang true given the circumstances.
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Heartrending--and ultimately heartwarming--I'm a sucker for a second chance--what a heartfelt letter--I was captivated--all he wrote rang true given the circumstances.
Comment Written 22-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Me too! Life happens and often its something we never really intended to say or do... second chances are good. smiles, Carol
Comment from Bonnie Seach
A well crafted and beautifully written story
When emotions run high we tend to be impulsive and make foolish mistakes.
It turned out well. Pity about the bad breath
and gross snoring though... Thanks for sharing. Best wishes
Suggestion for correction :
Use "you're" in place of *your*. It will be consistent with your sentence structure and wording for this story
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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A well crafted and beautifully written story
When emotions run high we tend to be impulsive and make foolish mistakes.
It turned out well. Pity about the bad breath
and gross snoring though... Thanks for sharing. Best wishes
Suggestion for correction :
Use "you're" in place of *your*. It will be consistent with your sentence structure and wording for this story
Comment Written 22-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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Thank you Bonnie for stopping by to read this short story. It just popped into my head so I thought why not... and I wrote it. Glad you enjoyed it. Smiles, Carol
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Well done! Regards
Comment from BethShelby
It would hard to leave after reading that. The booze can turn a good man into someone else who is hard to love, but there is always hope as long as he can still write letters like that one. I have a feeling come morning she will still be there.
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reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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It would hard to leave after reading that. The booze can turn a good man into someone else who is hard to love, but there is always hope as long as he can still write letters like that one. I have a feeling come morning she will still be there.
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Comment Written 22-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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Me too! I thought I would be writing Chapter 40, but instead, this story popped into my head and demanded I write it. My muse is getting a big head, I think, and thinks he is in control. LOL, but I am glad you enjoyed it. Now off to start on chap 40. Smiles, Carol
Comment from T B Botts
What a delightful story. I wasn't sure where it was going at first. I'm glad to see that perhaps there is a chance to reconcile and overlook some obvious faults. No doubt we all fall short sometimes. When it becomes a pattern, it needs to be addressed. I see that you left a "d" off of shivered. Great story.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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What a delightful story. I wasn't sure where it was going at first. I'm glad to see that perhaps there is a chance to reconcile and overlook some obvious faults. No doubt we all fall short sometimes. When it becomes a pattern, it needs to be addressed. I see that you left a "d" off of shivered. Great story.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 22-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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Good evening, Tom. How awesome of you to add your kindness and a bit of glitter to my day. The "d" has been placed and I thank you for catching that. I tend to prefer happy endings... though we all know that isn't always possible. Smiles and a big thank you...Carol
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You're certainly welcome Carol.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
What a beautiful story and turnaround story. God heard the prayers and give them a second chance. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
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reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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What a beautiful story and turnaround story. God heard the prayers and give them a second chance. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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Thanks, Iza... I am supposed to be writing the next chapter of On The Edge Of deception, but for some reason, this story claimed me and I wrote it instead. I am thrilled that you enjoyed it. Appreciate your kindness and all the blessings you send my way. Smiles, Carol
