Sleep Tight - part four
Don't let the...16 total reviews
Comment from estory
Nice attention to detail as always and I continue to admire your easy, relaxed style. You have a great laid back way of story writing, and it is like sharing a beer with you on a Saturday afternoon while you tell of your adventures. This chapter seemed like a link in a chain, from one significant moment to the next significant moment. Sean seems to be struggling to compose himself in the presence of a man who has usurped his place in his family. But the man seems to give in a bit and lets him have five minutes. Its like a crack of light in a dark hallway; but this could still go in lots of directions. The suspense is in the air. estory
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Nice attention to detail as always and I continue to admire your easy, relaxed style. You have a great laid back way of story writing, and it is like sharing a beer with you on a Saturday afternoon while you tell of your adventures. This chapter seemed like a link in a chain, from one significant moment to the next significant moment. Sean seems to be struggling to compose himself in the presence of a man who has usurped his place in his family. But the man seems to give in a bit and lets him have five minutes. Its like a crack of light in a dark hallway; but this could still go in lots of directions. The suspense is in the air. estory
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Many thanks as always. trying to get reviews on here for pieces that require a bit of patience and thinking is like the proverbial blood from a stone! lol Many thanks G
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear buddy, do you realize you have left me in suspense for the last two chapters. I know that writing in this style, Will make your novel a real page turner, but posting it on Fan story like this, Only makes me want to take you by the shoulders and shake you, and say "you cannot leave me like this." ( I hope you are only 4'9" high and weigh about 25 pounds, or I'm not gonna get very far with that threat ) oh well! (I wish I could use emojis!!!)
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Dear buddy, do you realize you have left me in suspense for the last two chapters. I know that writing in this style, Will make your novel a real page turner, but posting it on Fan story like this, Only makes me want to take you by the shoulders and shake you, and say "you cannot leave me like this." ( I hope you are only 4'9" high and weigh about 25 pounds, or I'm not gonna get very far with that threat ) oh well! (I wish I could use emojis!!!)
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Yeah, most fanstorians don't like this sort of thing anymore. They used to but it's a struggle to write in this way these days. All the best G
Comment from damommy
I can't begin to figure out what's going on with Sean, but I think he should have stayed home. The restraining order doesn't necessarily mean he's done something violent, but David hinted that he had done. Hurry with the next chapter!
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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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I can't begin to figure out what's going on with Sean, but I think he should have stayed home. The restraining order doesn't necessarily mean he's done something violent, but David hinted that he had done. Hurry with the next chapter!
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Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Many thanks as always, Yvonne. G
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am wondering if Sean will talk David into allowing him to speak with his kids. I sure hope so. He needs the kids in his life and I am pretty sure the kids need him in their lives. Kids usually do. You're doing a really good job writing this.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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I am wondering if Sean will talk David into allowing him to speak with his kids. I sure hope so. He needs the kids in his life and I am pretty sure the kids need him in their lives. Kids usually do. You're doing a really good job writing this.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Many thanks Barbara. I'm not sure FS is the venue for work for much longer. Hardly anyone reads my stuff anymore. Anything that requires patience and thinking is a struggle! lol All the best G
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I agree. I used to get 50 - 60 reviews, not I get 20 something. People don't have the patience to read longer novels. That's okay, I still see what works and what doesn't.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This continues to be played out in small doses, which end at a cliff-hanger. To me this isn't natural, as I like to pause at a hiatus, and rush ahead when there is action, looking for the follow-through. However, I am learning that FanStory has its own language and tempo - although I'm not certain that I'll be able to apply them myself. The effect though in your writing is rather intruiging.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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This continues to be played out in small doses, which end at a cliff-hanger. To me this isn't natural, as I like to pause at a hiatus, and rush ahead when there is action, looking for the follow-through. However, I am learning that FanStory has its own language and tempo - although I'm not certain that I'll be able to apply them myself. The effect though in your writing is rather intruiging.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Serialised work has its own challenges. i find that too much of what is written on site these days is safe and predictable. I know from a comp or prompt exactly what stories are going to be written. Anything more challenging won't get read but I find it's less boring. G
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
How can Sean's best friend end up with his wife? Regardless of Sean's idiotic crime. Best friends don't do that. Something is happening in Sean's life, that he has no control of, and no idea of what it is. I think I'd rather not go back to that room he's renting. This is a creepy story, Gareth. I look forward to the next part. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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How can Sean's best friend end up with his wife? Regardless of Sean's idiotic crime. Best friends don't do that. Something is happening in Sean's life, that he has no control of, and no idea of what it is. I think I'd rather not go back to that room he's renting. This is a creepy story, Gareth. I look forward to the next part. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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I think I may be calling time on this one. reviews are like blood from a stone. I know it's not the story as I have it up elsewhere and it's going down very well. I think I may be more limited here. (only posted nine times last year.
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I hope you do continue, I'll spend the rest of my life wondering what was going on!!
Perhaps you should do what another member does here, to get more reviews, he'll go and review work and tell them, none to politely to go and review his. Was the other site you use the one you told me about recently? I'll take a look.
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Yep, it's a bit more professional in a way. more like having an actual writers group with different genre categories and such like
