The Spirit of the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Captive!"Newylwed homesteader Jane becomes a widow
12 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
This is a sad piece of history: you kill me, I kill you back and life goes in circles. The debt must be paid and the innocent will suffer. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
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reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
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This is a sad piece of history: you kill me, I kill you back and life goes in circles. The debt must be paid and the innocent will suffer. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
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Thanks so much for your incredible insight.
Comment from Tonia Michelle
This is very intriguing and captivating!
There were just a few things I noticed that could maybe use improvement. In the opening background line, it would work to use two sentences instead of one. The second sentence being "She now must contend with an Indian outbreak."
In the last line of the third paragraph, the word "then" should be "than".
In the 2nd to last paragraph, the last line could use a semicolon after "needed", and before "a messenger", since it is two descriptions of the same person.
Finally, in the last paragraph, there needs to be a period in the first line after "again".
Just a few things I noticed, but loved the story!
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reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
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This is very intriguing and captivating!
There were just a few things I noticed that could maybe use improvement. In the opening background line, it would work to use two sentences instead of one. The second sentence being "She now must contend with an Indian outbreak."
In the last line of the third paragraph, the word "then" should be "than".
In the 2nd to last paragraph, the last line could use a semicolon after "needed", and before "a messenger", since it is two descriptions of the same person.
Finally, in the last paragraph, there needs to be a period in the first line after "again".
Just a few things I noticed, but loved the story!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
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Thanks! I think I got those changes fixed now. I always need help editing. And I welcome it without an argument. Blessings ahead.
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Thank you. Blessings to you as well!