Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Football Chapter 5 part 2"A mother faces life's struggles.
22 total reviews
Comment from royowen
So Mrs. Sandy Frost turns up to talk with Katherine about her husband's behaviour, and certainly seems to be on Katherine's side, a sympathetic supporter, who appears to want help for her husband, that things haven't been going Frost's way lately. Well done Barbara, an excellent episode, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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So Mrs. Sandy Frost turns up to talk with Katherine about her husband's behaviour, and certainly seems to be on Katherine's side, a sympathetic supporter, who appears to want help for her husband, that things haven't been going Frost's way lately. Well done Barbara, an excellent episode, blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Well done
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
Well, sounds like someone in his family has their head on reasonably straight. That's good. I have to wonder what his son might be thinking about Frost's behavior, too. Hmmm....
Notes:
1.) "I think Mom, put two brownies in Jordan's."
--> no comma
2.) The afternoon was filled with staff meeting(s) and working in classrooms.
Thanks!
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Barbara,
Well, sounds like someone in his family has their head on reasonably straight. That's good. I have to wonder what his son might be thinking about Frost's behavior, too. Hmmm....
Notes:
1.) "I think Mom, put two brownies in Jordan's."
--> no comma
2.) The afternoon was filled with staff meeting(s) and working in classrooms.
Thanks!
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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I made the changes. Thank you for the catches. I knew both of them were wrong when you pointed them out. I read this post at least once a day last week and still didn't get it right. DARN!!!
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I still think you are perfect.
Comment from judiverse
I'm glad Mrs. Frost didn't add another problem to Katherine's long list. She realizes her husband is in need of help in dealing with his issues. Katherine's been through a lot, and classes haven't even started yet. Gabriel had better stop trying to take over Katherine's life. H could start by letting her take care of her own lunch. If Katherine ends up coaching girls' track, he'll probably try to interfere with that. She needs to meet someone outside the school staff. Great work with your characterization, and the story is moving along smoothly. judi
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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I'm glad Mrs. Frost didn't add another problem to Katherine's long list. She realizes her husband is in need of help in dealing with his issues. Katherine's been through a lot, and classes haven't even started yet. Gabriel had better stop trying to take over Katherine's life. H could start by letting her take care of her own lunch. If Katherine ends up coaching girls' track, he'll probably try to interfere with that. She needs to meet someone outside the school staff. Great work with your characterization, and the story is moving along smoothly. judi
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're quite welcome. Great chapter. Why not have a rival for Katherine's affections? judi
Comment from Sankey
Well done again. A chapter full of information and glad Katherine has met Mrs Frost. Keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next exciting chapter. No spags.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Well done again. A chapter full of information and glad Katherine has met Mrs Frost. Keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next exciting chapter. No spags.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
"I guess so. Think a thirty day {restraint order} is enough? I guess we'll find out."
- I think common term is: restraining order.
As Katherine's jaw set, she glared at Gabriel. "Why didn't you tell me Mr. Frost had a gun and a knife?"
- I would lose or change this line. One, it's Texas, everyone has a gun. Two, a knife, who doesn't have a kitchen (I would definitely delete that). Three, why would Gabriel know. He and Frost are not friends, and again it's Texas.
I see you need to show Gabriel making decisions for her and treating her like a child, but at this point, who isn't?
All the positions were filled with women, and he [felt he] was discriminated against. I don't share his opinions."
- I would add that, as it sounds like a statement from her.
Following close behind, Paul said, "I wonder what she wanted?"
- Is this a joke or is Paul mentally ill? Why would he allow her entrance. And how did she know where to find Katherine?
I see you wanted to show the Coach and Paul being similar in their view and treatment of Katherine.
Hmm, I get that, but Paul didn't need to accompany her to get a restraining order. But she allowed it. I don't know. This is a strange town.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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"I guess so. Think a thirty day {restraint order} is enough? I guess we'll find out."
- I think common term is: restraining order.
As Katherine's jaw set, she glared at Gabriel. "Why didn't you tell me Mr. Frost had a gun and a knife?"
- I would lose or change this line. One, it's Texas, everyone has a gun. Two, a knife, who doesn't have a kitchen (I would definitely delete that). Three, why would Gabriel know. He and Frost are not friends, and again it's Texas.
I see you need to show Gabriel making decisions for her and treating her like a child, but at this point, who isn't?
All the positions were filled with women, and he [felt he] was discriminated against. I don't share his opinions."
- I would add that, as it sounds like a statement from her.
Following close behind, Paul said, "I wonder what she wanted?"
- Is this a joke or is Paul mentally ill? Why would he allow her entrance. And how did she know where to find Katherine?
I see you wanted to show the Coach and Paul being similar in their view and treatment of Katherine.
Hmm, I get that, but Paul didn't need to accompany her to get a restraining order. But she allowed it. I don't know. This is a strange town.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Three, why would Gabriel know. He and Frost are not friends, and again it's Texas. (Gabriel in the previous post watched, the officer pat Frost down and made note of what he saw. Not everybody in Texas as a gun. I do not. Either did my husband until the recent political issues and now he has a LTC, and has a gun. He's retired Army, Criminal Investigation Division. I know plenty of people who don't own guns.)
When schools are not in session, people come and go at will. Paul may not have known she ever entered the building, also the math department is all in one hallway, it would be easy to know which room was vacant until a new teacher came in. I've been in the same room for 14 years.
Paul wanted to verify the happenings at school with the authorities. Also it's a small town where everybody is in everybody's business. I does happen. I've lived in plenty a small towns. They are all the same. I hope this helps.
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Okay. I did not mean to question how you see things or offend. I only meant the general audience has views of things.
I always try to put myself in the position of the average reader. What does the average reader think of say, Texas and guns, entering schools in this day and age. What does the reader know and feel about harassment today.
My apologies.
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I was not offended. I am sorry if I came across that way. I was just trying to say how I mentioned things. Once I was in Denver, training with a group of teacher from my school. In the hotel lobby a lady came up to and asked, "I understand you're all from Texas. What is your quality of life there?" I started to say, "I bought these shoes just to come to Colorado. I usually go barefoot." A Pre-K teacher stepped in, she's softer than I am, and answered her question. I was offended by the question. Texas is a state just like many states and I've lived in plenty. My husband was military and we moved at least every 3 years.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is a good chapter that
sheds some light on two
important issues.
-We learn more about Frost's
outburst against Katherine,
the order placed against him,
and finally a visit from his wife.
-It is no wonder she is distraught,
and seemed downcast and worried
about her husband.
-It's nice to know that Katherine
cares about Paul's getting help.
-As usual Paul and Gabriel are in
Katherine's room within minutes.
-The story ends well, too, Barb.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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-This is a good chapter that
sheds some light on two
important issues.
-We learn more about Frost's
outburst against Katherine,
the order placed against him,
and finally a visit from his wife.
-It is no wonder she is distraught,
and seemed downcast and worried
about her husband.
-It's nice to know that Katherine
cares about Paul's getting help.
-As usual Paul and Gabriel are in
Katherine's room within minutes.
-The story ends well, too, Barb.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You deserved it, Barbara. The story is going along nicely.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this was a great chapter to read. It was good of Sandy to come around to explain herself. I liked that, and she knows how to handle Gabriel and Paul. They do make me smile. They have to learn that she's a big girl. I enjoyed this chapter. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Hi Barbara, this was a great chapter to read. It was good of Sandy to come around to explain herself. I liked that, and she knows how to handle Gabriel and Paul. They do make me smile. They have to learn that she's a big girl. I enjoyed this chapter. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
This is an interesting chapter. I'm glad to know the man's wife knows her husband needs help and is trying to make the situation better. I liked the funny way you ended the chapter but allowing the two men to hear the thoughts she muttered aloud. i look forward to more.
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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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This is an interesting chapter. I'm glad to know the man's wife knows her husband needs help and is trying to make the situation better. I liked the funny way you ended the chapter but allowing the two men to hear the thoughts she muttered aloud. i look forward to more.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This story grows and grows on me. I thoroughly enjoy your writing, and Your characters are my friends now. It was good that Mrs. Frost saw Katherine and explained. Well written!
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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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This story grows and grows on me. I thoroughly enjoy your writing, and Your characters are my friends now. It was good that Mrs. Frost saw Katherine and explained. Well written!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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I actually groaned when I saw that juicy pulled pork sandwich! ha ha
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LOL
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm glad Sandy came and explained to Katherine what was wrong with her husband, it must be a strain on her. Gabriel and Paul make me smile, they are both caring people but don't realise that Katherine can handle things, she proved that by standing up to Frost. Another excellent chapter, Barb. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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I'm glad Sandy came and explained to Katherine what was wrong with her husband, it must be a strain on her. Gabriel and Paul make me smile, they are both caring people but don't realise that Katherine can handle things, she proved that by standing up to Frost. Another excellent chapter, Barb. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the understanding review. I had hopped the emotions came through and they did.
