Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Football Chapter 4 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
23 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Wonderful, a suspension is good, but really in our climate, he would be fired immediately and the school board sued. And, Katherine would win and keep her job. Really, only a fool would do what he did more than once, in front of multiple witnesses, even a union couldn't save him. Are you going to show later that Frost is insane?
Good work.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2020
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Wonderful, a suspension is good, but really in our climate, he would be fired immediately and the school board sued. And, Katherine would win and keep her job. Really, only a fool would do what he did more than once, in front of multiple witnesses, even a union couldn't save him. Are you going to show later that Frost is insane?
Good work.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
At my school we had a similar situation and the teacher took it to the school board and the school board did not back the principal.
Comment from roof35
I almost cannot believe Mr. Frost, but then I remember some pretty bad scenes at my workplace years ago. This story is well written and interesting. I enjoyed this chapter.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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I almost cannot believe Mr. Frost, but then I remember some pretty bad scenes at my workplace years ago. This story is well written and interesting. I enjoyed this chapter.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the understanding and the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
I think the coach is doing a great job making his way into a special person's life. LOL.
Now she has met Mom and Dad. Wow, ells ringing way in the background. No fair, I know your writing. Just watching how you make it happen. BOW WOW!
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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I think the coach is doing a great job making his way into a special person's life. LOL.
Now she has met Mom and Dad. Wow, ells ringing way in the background. No fair, I know your writing. Just watching how you make it happen. BOW WOW!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow! You've always been an excellent writer, Barbara, but I was breezing through your chapter today, amazed at how you've improved over the two years I've been gone. It has, particularly, to do with your pacing during dialogue where there are multiple characters. It's largely due to your flexibility in use of dialogue tags and actions to replace dialogue tags.
If I were hard-pressed to find something you might keep an eye on it would be the overuse of the word "glare." It's easy to do, isn't it, because we want to avoid the mundane "look".
If someone can go through an entire chapter that I've written and that's all they can come up with, I'm elated!
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Wow! You've always been an excellent writer, Barbara, but I was breezing through your chapter today, amazed at how you've improved over the two years I've been gone. It has, particularly, to do with your pacing during dialogue where there are multiple characters. It's largely due to your flexibility in use of dialogue tags and actions to replace dialogue tags.
If I were hard-pressed to find something you might keep an eye on it would be the overuse of the word "glare." It's easy to do, isn't it, because we want to avoid the mundane "look".
If someone can go through an entire chapter that I've written and that's all they can come up with, I'm elated!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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I will keep an eye on glare. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Great chapter. I'd love to partake of that sandwich. I can't believe school lunches aren't provided. Coach Hudson's parents seem nice. They're making sure Coach and his crew eat well. You might want to make Frost a little less obvious in his tactics. He's just asking to be suspended or worse. See if you can't make him a bit more underhanded. If he's going to be her nemesis, you'll need to have him around. Maybe he can phony up something against her. Edwards seems to be on her side, however. I'm curious about what her schedule is going to be and what students she'll be facing as classes begin. Great work. judi
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Great chapter. I'd love to partake of that sandwich. I can't believe school lunches aren't provided. Coach Hudson's parents seem nice. They're making sure Coach and his crew eat well. You might want to make Frost a little less obvious in his tactics. He's just asking to be suspended or worse. See if you can't make him a bit more underhanded. If he's going to be her nemesis, you'll need to have him around. Maybe he can phony up something against her. Edwards seems to be on her side, however. I'm curious about what her schedule is going to be and what students she'll be facing as classes begin. Great work. judi
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Frost will soon be in the background. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome. Frost should be in the background. He really showed off, and before an audience, too. He showed himself for what he was. judi
Comment from bhogg
Mr. Frost should get frosted. It always amazes me how people can say such hurtful things. Guess I'll just have to keep up with your new novel to see how it all turns out. Amusing how things in the South revolve around sports, especially football. I say that as my wife allowed me to veg out and watch college football yesterday...and we're in the middle of moving. I always enjoy your work. Bill
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Mr. Frost should get frosted. It always amazes me how people can say such hurtful things. Guess I'll just have to keep up with your new novel to see how it all turns out. Amusing how things in the South revolve around sports, especially football. I say that as my wife allowed me to veg out and watch college football yesterday...and we're in the middle of moving. I always enjoy your work. Bill
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RShipp
Jordan opened the sack. "Mom, this has two chicken salad croissants, grapes, cherry tomatoes, carrots, celery, and two snickerdoodle cookies for dessert. Wow! Coach doesn't do anything halfway, does he?" (Coach has won the kid's heart- connected to the stomach! I think he's on the way to winning the teacher's heart as well.)
I wish problems at school received attention that fast.
Enjoyed.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Jordan opened the sack. "Mom, this has two chicken salad croissants, grapes, cherry tomatoes, carrots, celery, and two snickerdoodle cookies for dessert. Wow! Coach doesn't do anything halfway, does he?" (Coach has won the kid's heart- connected to the stomach! I think he's on the way to winning the teacher's heart as well.)
I wish problems at school received attention that fast.
Enjoyed.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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I agree. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Wow! That's really bad, slagging Katherine with those shocking accusations is really bad, it's a wonder he ever got a job teaching at all. I love what you've done with this Barbara, you've really spiced this up, I can feel your indignant readers, wishing the frost character was really castigated for this behaviour, well dine, an excellent post, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Wow! That's really bad, slagging Katherine with those shocking accusations is really bad, it's a wonder he ever got a job teaching at all. I love what you've done with this Barbara, you've really spiced this up, I can feel your indignant readers, wishing the frost character was really castigated for this behaviour, well dine, an excellent post, blessings Roy
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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Most welcome Barbara
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Barbara, this had a bit of a surprise in store. The accusations are flying and ii can't see any basis for any of it. I only found one thing:
Jordan opened sack. =Jordan opened the sack.
I'm looking forward to what's next. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Wow, Barbara, this had a bit of a surprise in store. The accusations are flying and ii can't see any basis for any of it. I only found one thing:
Jordan opened sack. =Jordan opened the sack.
I'm looking forward to what's next. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the catch and the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Wow! Frost is very as his name implies, frosty! This was an excellent chapter. A great read once again! But what of your work is any other way? No spags except some change needed in the following. I like to have coaching meetings during this time. We never have enough planning time. With all the coaches getting lunch, there wasn't time,... Time, time, time...so much repetition needs some sort of adjustment some how
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Wow! Frost is very as his name implies, frosty! This was an excellent chapter. A great read once again! But what of your work is any other way? No spags except some change needed in the following. I like to have coaching meetings during this time. We never have enough planning time. With all the coaches getting lunch, there wasn't time,... Time, time, time...so much repetition needs some sort of adjustment some how
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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I will check the time out. Thank you for pointing it out.
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It just seemed a tad repetitious. Let me know when you change it I am curious what you will come up with.
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made the change
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Ok will go look later. Can't find Ulla's post for today.