Worry
a dribble25 total reviews
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
Your dribble ellicits several emotions from me.
I feel sorry he is such a worrier. And although he has alienated everyone, they will still have pangs of regret for having been so unavailable to him.
The "irony" of the last paragraph (pun intended) is well-done and funny in a macabre sort of way.
Even though it is due to an impulse he cannot control, I am still impressed he took the time to iron his suit...he has standards, albeit standards hard to defend because they're due to compulsion. In truth, there are people in the world like this and what Hell they must live in.
I sound like I'm taking your poem more seriously than I actually am...I just like to hear myself talk. Your poem is fun and very well done.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
  |
Your dribble ellicits several emotions from me.
I feel sorry he is such a worrier. And although he has alienated everyone, they will still have pangs of regret for having been so unavailable to him.
The "irony" of the last paragraph (pun intended) is well-done and funny in a macabre sort of way.
Even though it is due to an impulse he cannot control, I am still impressed he took the time to iron his suit...he has standards, albeit standards hard to defend because they're due to compulsion. In truth, there are people in the world like this and what Hell they must live in.
I sound like I'm taking your poem more seriously than I actually am...I just like to hear myself talk. Your poem is fun and very well done.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
-
Thanks for getting into it, Cynthia.
-
You are welcome. I probably come across as being as neurotic as I am :)
-
You are welcome. I probably come across as being as neurotic as I am :)
Comment from juliaSjames
Black humor rules in this ironic dribble written in your signature tongue in cheek style.. But it's also thought provoking. Underlying Herb's behavior is a universal truth. We're creatures of habit. So we take our ingrained traits with us wherever we go, even into the great beyond.
I think you have a shot at the top spot with this entry.
Stay safe
Julia
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
|
Black humor rules in this ironic dribble written in your signature tongue in cheek style.. But it's also thought provoking. Underlying Herb's behavior is a universal truth. We're creatures of habit. So we take our ingrained traits with us wherever we go, even into the great beyond.
I think you have a shot at the top spot with this entry.
Stay safe
Julia
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
-
Thank you, Julia
Comment from judiverse
This is full of irony, if I may. Herb is determined to commit suicide, but he also worries over the details. If he wants to jump off the bridge, why should it make any difference to him what his suit looked like, but he went to the trouble of ironing it. I can just see Columbo shaking over it and declaring it had to be a case of murder. Why would a guy bother to iron his suit if he was going to commit suicide? I hope Herb had remembered to unplug the iron. This is intriguing and insightful. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
|
This is full of irony, if I may. Herb is determined to commit suicide, but he also worries over the details. If he wants to jump off the bridge, why should it make any difference to him what his suit looked like, but he went to the trouble of ironing it. I can just see Columbo shaking over it and declaring it had to be a case of murder. Why would a guy bother to iron his suit if he was going to commit suicide? I hope Herb had remembered to unplug the iron. This is intriguing and insightful. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
-
Simply put, if he hadn't used an iron, he wouldn't be worried about it, and this story would be a sentence shorter and sadder.
-
It's human nature. People worry over things like that, even when planning suicide. Well, his house might have burned down if he'd left the iron on. judi
-
If he'd left the iron on, he might have burned the house down. I think worry over things like that would probably be typical behavior, even for someone contemplating suicide. judi
Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich?yes, richer than a king?
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
BY EDWIN ARLINGTON ROBINSON
-
Yes, I remember that poem. One of my students write his own ending. "He shot himself, the sight was gory, and that was the end of Richard Cory." I haven't forgotten that. judi
Comment from lyenochka
Funny but so sad, too! Even while dying, his neuroses got the better of him. Wonder why he didn't climb back up the bridge to make sure the iron was really off. Lol. On a sadder note, my mother-in-law in her last days worried about whether she would have enough money to pay for the hospice care. So sad.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
|
Funny but so sad, too! Even while dying, his neuroses got the better of him. Wonder why he didn't climb back up the bridge to make sure the iron was really off. Lol. On a sadder note, my mother-in-law in her last days worried about whether she would have enough money to pay for the hospice care. So sad.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
-
As my brother's guardian I continually reminded him he had lots of money and that I wasn't stealing it.
-
Seems like there would be so many better thoughts to have in our last days...Sigh.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I love it Bill. As a professional worrier myself I appreciated this.
The ending is priceless where the jumper still worried on the way down that he left the iron on.
Well done and I enjoyed and smiled.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
|
I love it Bill. As a professional worrier myself I appreciated this.
The ending is priceless where the jumper still worried on the way down that he left the iron on.
Well done and I enjoyed and smiled.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
-
Thanks, Mary
Comment from damommy
Hahaha. That would be the least of my thoughts. Funny what goes one's mind in time of crisis or tragedy. I remember years ago when Willie Nelson ran back into his burning house to recover his "stash." Good one, Bill.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
|
Hahaha. That would be the least of my thoughts. Funny what goes one's mind in time of crisis or tragedy. I remember years ago when Willie Nelson ran back into his burning house to recover his "stash." Good one, Bill.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
-
Thanks, Yvonne
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Bill, I am not sure what's the illustration has to do with the guy so desperate that he is jumping off a bridge but on the other hand; could you find a picture on the internet, of someone doing this.
Your dribble flash fiction contest entry is "top drawer" as always !
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
|
Dear Bill, I am not sure what's the illustration has to do with the guy so desperate that he is jumping off a bridge but on the other hand; could you find a picture on the internet, of someone doing this.
Your dribble flash fiction contest entry is "top drawer" as always !
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
-
Thanks, Suzanna
Comment from nomi338
Sounds like, or seems to me that Herb was not as ready to go as he might have thought. When you are truly disengaged from the will to live, you should be able to let go of everything. No thought of such mundane things as did I turn off the lights, did I lock the door? Nope, forget everything, even how cold will this water be, will it hurt when I hit the surface of the water, nothing, Nada.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
|
Sounds like, or seems to me that Herb was not as ready to go as he might have thought. When you are truly disengaged from the will to live, you should be able to let go of everything. No thought of such mundane things as did I turn off the lights, did I lock the door? Nope, forget everything, even how cold will this water be, will it hurt when I hit the surface of the water, nothing, Nada.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
-
What?s worse, he did leave the iron on.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Hahaha. Safety first they always say. People are creatures of habit. I found this to be amusing and that's sick isn't it but I am a worrier. I try to keep it down to a whisper because my DR. told me worry is a rattle snake waiting to kill you. Good job. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
|
Hahaha. Safety first they always say. People are creatures of habit. I found this to be amusing and that's sick isn't it but I am a worrier. I try to keep it down to a whisper because my DR. told me worry is a rattle snake waiting to kill you. Good job. Nancy:)
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
-
Thanks, Nancy
Comment from palmart
WOW! Tough subject you choose here! He was so detailed that thinking about the iron in such difficult moment expresses his thought as focused on details and not seeing the whole picture... "The tree blinds his vision of the whole forest" may be the conclusion here.
It would be hard to choose an artwork for this subject, but the one you selected is suitable for this tough poem...
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
|
WOW! Tough subject you choose here! He was so detailed that thinking about the iron in such difficult moment expresses his thought as focused on details and not seeing the whole picture... "The tree blinds his vision of the whole forest" may be the conclusion here.
It would be hard to choose an artwork for this subject, but the one you selected is suitable for this tough poem...
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
-
Herb also worried whether the bridge was high enough.
-
Good point, Bill!!
Have a nice week!
Blessings!