Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "A stroll in the woods"Musings of an old man -2020
26 total reviews
Comment from sammielwf
JLR,
This is my first experience at reading a loop poem. It is obvious that this takes some concentration to keep the poem's continuity.
I enjoyed reading a Stroll in the Woods and wish you good luck in the contest.
Sammielwf
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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JLR,
This is my first experience at reading a loop poem. It is obvious that this takes some concentration to keep the poem's continuity.
I enjoyed reading a Stroll in the Woods and wish you good luck in the contest.
Sammielwf
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Sammiel thank you! One does have to concentrate on the line transition to carry the reader along the poem without creating confusion.
Comment from TPAC
An interesting thought a loop poem, feeling strong connection in a few of its lines displayed, finding viewpoints strong and meaningful at least to my interests making a great read. All stated in my given opinion.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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An interesting thought a loop poem, feeling strong connection in a few of its lines displayed, finding viewpoints strong and meaningful at least to my interests making a great read. All stated in my given opinion.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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TPAC thank you for your time to read and comment on my poem.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written loop poem about the stroll in the woods while the dew is moist and the light is glistening and a cold chill in the air that you cover up with zips and collars.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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A very well-written loop poem about the stroll in the woods while the dew is moist and the light is glistening and a cold chill in the air that you cover up with zips and collars.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Sandra, I thank you for your time taken to read and comment on my loop poem.
Comment from Gloria ....
A lovely premise for a loop poem, J. Your sights and senses are strong in this walk through the forest, dark and cold.
Just two issues to work out.
Too cover our faces, zip and snap. Too what?
and your last line is missing the loop word, front and end. I think you could easily rework this to introduce dance at the start of the line and stroll at the line's end to return to the starting word. You would just have to change your line two:
pace we set to stay abreast of the light, to rhyme with stroll.
and line three to start with stroll. There are still a few days to edit before the contest closes.
Wishing you much luck with the Contest Committee. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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A lovely premise for a loop poem, J. Your sights and senses are strong in this walk through the forest, dark and cold.
Just two issues to work out.
Too cover our faces, zip and snap. Too what?
and your last line is missing the loop word, front and end. I think you could easily rework this to introduce dance at the start of the line and stroll at the line's end to return to the starting word. You would just have to change your line two:
pace we set to stay abreast of the light, to rhyme with stroll.
and line three to start with stroll. There are still a few days to edit before the contest closes.
Wishing you much luck with the Contest Committee. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Gloria, you are the TOPS! I totally zoned out...I was working on this poem and then saw my doc and found I need a surgical correction which upset my apple cart, I sent this without a final review. SO THANK YOU...
Comment from Boogienights
This is really very lovely. I love nature and all the beauty it holds, and your loop poem describes that in great detail. Thanks so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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This is really very lovely. I love nature and all the beauty it holds, and your loop poem describes that in great detail. Thanks so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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thank you I did make a needed correction last line.
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is a very nice loop poem for the contest. A Stroll through the woods is an appropriate title. The picture is gorgeous! It certainly enhances your poem even more. Great job!
Patty
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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This is a very nice loop poem for the contest. A Stroll through the woods is an appropriate title. The picture is gorgeous! It certainly enhances your poem even more. Great job!
Patty
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Hi Patty, thanks I did see that I needed to correct the last line.
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with this very difficult form! Writing loop poems that rhyme gives me a headache! Your poem reads smoothly and I liked the movement of your stanzas as you talk about walk in the woods and the movement of the light. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Great job with this very difficult form! Writing loop poems that rhyme gives me a headache! Your poem reads smoothly and I liked the movement of your stanzas as you talk about walk in the woods and the movement of the light. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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thanks I did see that I needed to correct the last line.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
What a beautiful picture and a lovely poem to make it come alive! There is very little in this world more pleasant than an Autumn stroll in the woods.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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What a beautiful picture and a lovely poem to make it come alive! There is very little in this world more pleasant than an Autumn stroll in the woods.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Rebecca, thanks I did see that I needed to correct the last line.
Comment from LJbutterfly
You have adequately described a brisk walk in the woods in a loop poem. I especially likes the lines "chins tucked under the collars...collars so high it covers our grins." This shows our delight at being able to stroll in the woods. I did note that the last line didn't actually loop. It could have been, "dance as we twirl...." This poem provided great imagery. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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You have adequately described a brisk walk in the woods in a loop poem. I especially likes the lines "chins tucked under the collars...collars so high it covers our grins." This shows our delight at being able to stroll in the woods. I did note that the last line didn't actually loop. It could have been, "dance as we twirl...." This poem provided great imagery. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Lorraine, yes thank yo I did drop that and have correctes same...
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This is a very well written loop poem speaks about a stroll in the woods, and snap, and forest and pace; this has a free flow of thoughts ; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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This is a very well written loop poem speaks about a stroll in the woods, and snap, and forest and pace; this has a free flow of thoughts ; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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ALCREATOR, thank you kind sir,
