Summers by the Beach
My Mom made sure her children had summers to remember.17 total reviews
Comment from Rhymer
Shades of my own childhood days Mary! A no more than twice a year outing for my sister and I, as we lived a fair distance - not by today's standards admittedly, but back in my young days, it was an 'expedition! My favourite moment? Seeing and petting the donkeys that gave rides to visitors - mainly kids - up and down the beach at Weymouth! From that day on, the donkey was my favourite animal! Still is and as we have a Donkey Sanctuary not too far distant right now, my wife and I along with any friends, like minded, pay a visit and support same! They have a web site under the name of Primrose (their first occupant) Sanctuary. Lovely pictures and videos to watch in the comfort of your home. As for spending time on a beach today? Last time was in Brazil almost thirty years ago! My goodness! How time flies!!! No donkeys there, just thong clad, fat rears, - almost - naked locals! Lol. Personally I prefer donkeys! Fondest regards. Denis.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Shades of my own childhood days Mary! A no more than twice a year outing for my sister and I, as we lived a fair distance - not by today's standards admittedly, but back in my young days, it was an 'expedition! My favourite moment? Seeing and petting the donkeys that gave rides to visitors - mainly kids - up and down the beach at Weymouth! From that day on, the donkey was my favourite animal! Still is and as we have a Donkey Sanctuary not too far distant right now, my wife and I along with any friends, like minded, pay a visit and support same! They have a web site under the name of Primrose (their first occupant) Sanctuary. Lovely pictures and videos to watch in the comfort of your home. As for spending time on a beach today? Last time was in Brazil almost thirty years ago! My goodness! How time flies!!! No donkeys there, just thong clad, fat rears, - almost - naked locals! Lol. Personally I prefer donkeys! Fondest regards. Denis.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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You really have me cracking up here, at least on the inside. Definitely, smiling! Donkeys on a beach in thongs -- oh, no! -- I know that's not what you said -- but I do prefer the "old-fashioned" (!) hip-hugging bikinis of the 1970s to the butt-baring things of the New Millennium. No wait, you said that those near-naked locals were in Brazil? So much for Brazilian Tonga pants! And the New Millennium -- although if you visited any beach in the world today, except those in the most restrictive lands, you would be seeing a wide (no pun intended) variety of rear ends exposed. Now I really am laughing.
I looked up Weymouth, and they're in both Massachusetts and in England. I think you mentioned that you were in the Royal Navy, so I think that rules out Massachusetts.
It seems that even in families for whom entire summers at the beach isn't an option, an outing at the beach, once or twice a year, was something your parents made sure you experienced in childhood. How simply lovely!
I"m so glad you enjoyed my poem. There's something universal about being children enjoying time at the beach, for those whose families cared enough to provide it, and were able to do so.
Thanks for the great review, Denis. Much appreciation. - Mary Kay
Comment from Aiona
I'm not sure what the structure of a Duo Rhyme is, but I can clearly see there's rhyme and rhythm (iambic pentameter) in this poem. I like the descriptive words, as I can see the beach scene as I read, and the rhyme doesn't seem forced at all.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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I'm not sure what the structure of a Duo Rhyme is, but I can clearly see there's rhyme and rhythm (iambic pentameter) in this poem. I like the descriptive words, as I can see the beach scene as I read, and the rhyme doesn't seem forced at all.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Aiona, for your absolutely beautiful review. I really appreciate how you noticed so many things about the structure and content of my poem. I thank you for your thoughtful comments.
A Duo Rhyme is either AABBBBBBAA or AABB BBBBBBAA, which is 8 or 10 core lines that rhyme with each other, surrounded by two opening and two closing lines that rhyme with one another. I try not to force any rhymes -- it's not always easy, but I try! God bless you. - Mary Kay
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello my friend
This poem reminded me of the summers I spent at the beach with my parents. You painted a delightful picture with your words. Good job.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Hello my friend
This poem reminded me of the summers I spent at the beach with my parents. You painted a delightful picture with your words. Good job.
Gypsy
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for your beautiful review, Gypsy. I'm glad I could remind you of your own precious memories. God bless you. - Mary Kay
Comment from Bill Pinder
I really like the poem about remembering good family memories that are cherished. That's great that your mom and grandparents worked together to build good memories that you still appreciate today. Thanks for sharing with creativity. Bill
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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I really like the poem about remembering good family memories that are cherished. That's great that your mom and grandparents worked together to build good memories that you still appreciate today. Thanks for sharing with creativity. Bill
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much, Bill, for your excellent and thoughtful review. I appreciate the lovely things you wrote. Yes, I had a very good upbringing with a lot of love. Blessings, Mary Kay
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a very lovely, well-written poem. You have made effective use of descriptive details to create thrilling summer scenes. You have conveyed the point that children watched closely CAN HAVE FUN.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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This is a very lovely, well-written poem. You have made effective use of descriptive details to create thrilling summer scenes. You have conveyed the point that children watched closely CAN HAVE FUN.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your excellent and insightful review. I never thought of it that way, not having children of my own, but you're absolutely right. This is something more parents would do well to consider. Thank you for making such a timely point.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
AAAWWW nicely done and the words you used took us to the beach to have some quality time with you. I don't understand the form, it is new to me but loved the rhyming
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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AAAWWW nicely done and the words you used took us to the beach to have some quality time with you. I don't understand the form, it is new to me but loved the rhyming
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much, Barb, for your excellent and thoughtful review! Let's all go to the beach in the sunshine...
The Duo Rhyme is:
"10 or 12-line poem, with the first two and last two lines having the SAME rhyme scheme, and the center of the poem (lines #3 through #8 or #10) having THEIR OWN separate MONORHYME scheme."
I think I copied that information directly from the Notes of Iyenochka (thank you, Iyenochka, if you're reading this) who provided the explanation with her Potlatch Club entry.
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OH I will have to look up the club. Looks like fun
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Yes I think so! xoxo
Comment from Therese Caron
I like to give sixes when I feel the poem. Vacations at the shore are the best memories I have. There is nothing like being a child at the ocean, then growing up and doing the same trip with my own children. They are also the happiest times during my marriage. I love the second line about the air, which is what makes those days so memorable. Thank you for this memory.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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I like to give sixes when I feel the poem. Vacations at the shore are the best memories I have. There is nothing like being a child at the ocean, then growing up and doing the same trip with my own children. They are also the happiest times during my marriage. I love the second line about the air, which is what makes those days so memorable. Thank you for this memory.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much, Therese, for your lovely, thoughtful and exceptional review, and especially for the six stars, so kind and generous. I'm so glad my poem brings back your happy memories too :-)
Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson
What a lovely photo you choose to go with your poem, you captured my attention from the start and brought back happy memories of my family going to the breach.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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What a lovely photo you choose to go with your poem, you captured my attention from the start and brought back happy memories of my family going to the breach.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Cookie, for your beautiful review. It makes me happy that I brought back your sweet memories, as well. God bless you. - Mary Kay
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P.S. Cookie, I'm so glad you like my picture. It's one of my favorites!
Comment from JP Writer
A very endearing poem. Forgive my raw honesty, but I wouldn't chance it if I didn't sense you could handle some constructive criticism: For my taste, it's a bit "hallmarky." Truly, I'd cherish receiving a poem like this if you we'd spent time at the shore together and you wrote this to capture our lovely time. But from a more sophisticated literary perspective I think you are capable of digging deeper by unpacking very small moments that serve as metaphors for your life experiences or feelings.
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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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A very endearing poem. Forgive my raw honesty, but I wouldn't chance it if I didn't sense you could handle some constructive criticism: For my taste, it's a bit "hallmarky." Truly, I'd cherish receiving a poem like this if you we'd spent time at the shore together and you wrote this to capture our lovely time. But from a more sophisticated literary perspective I think you are capable of digging deeper by unpacking very small moments that serve as metaphors for your life experiences or feelings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Try some of my other entries. I just joined a poetry club and the rhymes needed to fit certain parameters. I'm learning and experimenting with different types of poetry. Digging deeper? Sure, I can try that. Thank you for the suggestion. I was doing a different thing here. This particular poem dealt with feelings that were beautiful to me at the time they existed. Thank you.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written duo-rhyme about memories of the childhood days and times spent at the grandparents on the shore. We can always rely on our memories to delight our minds.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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A very well-written duo-rhyme about memories of the childhood days and times spent at the grandparents on the shore. We can always rely on our memories to delight our minds.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Sandra, for your excellent review -- and it's so true that memories can delight our minds!
