Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Eye of Sparrow"Dawn of Chaos
5 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
This seems to be a very profound poem but alas, I feel I don't fully understand it. I like the imagery of a common bird like the sparrow calling out like a prophet to warn people to flee. It seems no one heeded and something precious was lost. I didn't understand this key line:
"Sparrow titled its head as struggles settled, beads and bracelets were exchanged for chain shackling metal."
It seems that people were enslaved by something that was valued?
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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This seems to be a very profound poem but alas, I feel I don't fully understand it. I like the imagery of a common bird like the sparrow calling out like a prophet to warn people to flee. It seems no one heeded and something precious was lost. I didn't understand this key line:
"Sparrow titled its head as struggles settled, beads and bracelets were exchanged for chain shackling metal."
It seems that people were enslaved by something that was valued?
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Valid point made about this write, and as most my works suffer such pits, why they are under constant revisions. Dispute flaws I thank you for your too generous rate and do appreciate your statements.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'Eye of Sparrow' is a good poem.
Well-written.
Fantastic artwork: The image shown supports the poem.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2017
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'Eye of Sparrow' is a good poem.
Well-written.
Fantastic artwork: The image shown supports the poem.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2017
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This write still has pits which once removed a clearer definition. Until then, thanking you for your treasure comments about this write and your generous rate.
Comment from Natalie Walker
This is an interesting, unique poem. The scattered interjections give it an urgent tone.
I noticed a typo in the first line of the fifth stanza, I think titled should be tilted. Other than that, the poem looks great.
Nice work!
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2017
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This is an interesting, unique poem. The scattered interjections give it an urgent tone.
I noticed a typo in the first line of the fifth stanza, I think titled should be tilted. Other than that, the poem looks great.
Nice work!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2017
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Good shout out! Thanks for lessening the pits in this write, also the generous rate. Someday my writes might fulfill half that given merit.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
no one there among them listened - perhaps not one rather than no one.
It feels a little jerky this one. Almost as if some words have been omitted in certain lines.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Hi there,
no one there among them listened - perhaps not one rather than no one.
It feels a little jerky this one. Almost as if some words have been omitted in certain lines.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 15-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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I will consider your perspectives about this write and make appropriate adjustments: if required. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts.
Comment from writeapoem
Quite an interesting poem on the sparrow relating to acts of tomorrow. The Lord used the sparrow to teach how he cared for them so we might be encouraged to know our souls are n in his hand. A very good message in rhyme.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Quite an interesting poem on the sparrow relating to acts of tomorrow. The Lord used the sparrow to teach how he cared for them so we might be encouraged to know our souls are n in his hand. A very good message in rhyme.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Glad this write found interests. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging statements.