Reviews from

Ten Elephants

Elephants march to their sunset.

56 total reviews 
Comment from evilynne
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

While this poem is extremely well written and calls attention to the horrible plight upon elephants, I hardly believe that it is appropriate for small children.

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
    Thank you for your review. Many have expressed your same view. Some adults are uncomfortable talking to children about death when a poem contains no cute, reassuring, comforting, or heavenly metaphors. On the other hand, other reviewers believe children should not be shielded from "the horrible plight upon elephants," and they believe this poem can open up frank conversations about not only death but evil. My poem pulls no punches but states the facts as they are occurring now.

    Thank you for stopping by.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
    Thank you for your review. Many have expressed your same view. Some adults are uncomfortable talking to children about death when a poem contains no cute, reassuring, comforting, or heavenly metaphors. On the other hand, other reviewers believe children should not be shielded from "the horrible plight upon elephants," and they believe this poem can open up frank conversations about not only death but evil. My poem pulls no punches but states the facts as they are occurring now.

    Thank you for stopping by.
reply by evilynne on 21-Apr-2015
    I actually think that this is okay for older children, who have the capacity to deal with the harsh realities you describe in your work. Again, I think the writing itself is exceptional.
Comment from lakeport
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ten Elephants, indeed that is terrible how the kill the Elephants, such a peaceful
and beautiful animal. I hope all those people who kill Elephants get struck be lightning or died a very miserable death.
Thanks for sharing it, God bless you. Hugs! Lakeport,

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Lakeport, for your kind review of a poem that is not posted. I am thrilled you discovered it.
reply by lakeport on 18-Apr-2015
    you are very welcome,Hugs! Lakeport,
Comment from Justin Chopin
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very powerful! I agree wholeheartedly with you it is a shame that animals especially elephants have to be slaughtered for their tusk. Your descriptive rhyming couplets on how each elephant met their demise were very well constructed. A very thought provoking piece of poetry .

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
    Justin:

    I thrilled to read your six star rating the day after I submitted my poem for publication in a poetry journal. What is sad is that not only are the poachers exterminating the elephants for their tusks, but that there are ten ways to kill elephants. I hope to share this poem with the world. Thanks for your review.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
    Justin:

    I thrilled to read your six star rating the day after I submitted my poem for publication in a poetry journal. What is sad is that not only are the poachers exterminating the elephants for their tusks, but that there are ten ways to kill elephants. I hope to share this poem with the world. Thanks for your review.
reply by Justin Chopin on 11-Apr-2015
    You're welcome.
Comment from Lesley Collier
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A touching poem geared to children honing their counting skills and putting them in touch with the realities facing our wild kingdom.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Lesley, for your kind review which comes on the eve of me submitting this poem for publication. Comments such as yours encourages me to proceed.
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I relished the artwork you selected--it established the mood for your poem very well. I admired your counting poem and rhymed couplet format, as you raise our awareness of the endangered elephants. Your "dreams chopped to chopsticks" was especially vivid. Cheers and best wishes in the contest- Joan

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
    Thank you, Joan E, for your kind review. Yes, I love that "chopsticks" line. I could not believe that poachers kill these beautiful animals to carve their ivory tusks into chopsticks. This shows how petty and vain we are as human beings. I am submitting my poem to journals to raise awareness about endangered elephants.
reply by Joan E. on 29-Mar-2015
    Thank you again for your dedication to raising awareness about endangered elephants. If you poem stops just one episode of poaching, your efforts will be well rewarded. Warm regards- Joan
Comment from scd41
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It is a touching poem on the pathetic elephant poaching. From the poem and author notes, the perverse ingenuity of poachers for their kills have been made apparent. If elephants are going to be extinct in another twenty years as feared by experts, your poem could as well be their death knell.



 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015
    Thank you for your kind review for a disturbing poem. When I researched poachers' killing methods for my elephant countdown poem, I was shocked by the poachers' "perverse ingenuity"--anti-tank mines and watermelons spiked with cyanide! The pictures of blasted and decapitated elephants are gruesome. I read in the paper this morning that the 2014 rate of poaching remained unchanged from 2013 as poaching outpaces the elephant birth rate. Yes, my poem could be their death knell.
Comment from GWinterwin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A good poem with a sad but very true message, also a good picture to make it complete. The message here is very clear, and oh what a tragedy about those elephant hunters.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015
    Thank you for your kind review for a sad, but true poem.
Comment from juliesibs
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So much truth in such a wonderfully written poem. This is so good, I was nodding as I counted down and hating the men that take such magnificent creatures in such a way.

Great job,
Julie

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015
    Thank you for your kind review for a sad, but true poem.
Comment from Joseph W. Sestrich
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This madness of poachers killing Elephants is as close to something being unfathomable as any thing I can think of. The magnificence of these creatures defies accurate description. Regardless of circumstance, there is no excuse for their slaughter!

I applaud your you deep desire to write a poem about this. This continuing situation touches the depth of my sadness and ignites my tarnished image of mankind. So many methods of murder are being employed. One would think it would have ended by now. And yet, it goes on, much like the pollution of our environment and the plight of war, terrorism and poverty. Your poem paints a picture of global endangerment. What is happening to the Elephants is indicative of what man is doing around the planet to all life and all Nature. To say that it is a shame is putting it mildly. Thank you for this poem and the message it shares. I for one found it brilliantly composed.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015
    Thank you, Joseph, for your kind, six star review. Before I researched and wrote my poem, I thought poachers shot only a few elephants. I never dreamed that poachers kill thousands using military weapons like the AK-47, anti-tank mines, and aircraft. The pictures online of blasted and decapitated bodies are gruesome. I read in the paper this morning that the rate of poaching out paces the elephants' natural birth rate. I am glad my poem shares this message of global endangerment.
Comment from RGstar
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am contemplating the age group for this as it is pretty harsh, but what better way to bring the plight of the species to the table?
I like the count-back. Popular with children, it builds a rhythm which helps in memorizing the words.
Good write.
Best wishes,
RGstar

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
    Thank you, RGstar, for your kind review. My poem is a conversation starter that parents and teachers can use to discuss the plight of elephants. All of these killing methods are documented and are currently in use. Thank you for the contest well wishes.