The How And Why Of Things
A Child`s Perspective Contest Submission8 total reviews
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning:
You've definitely captured the child's outlook on a particular regarding their inquisitiveness. Your explanation of why there are stars was excellent, and the touch with the marshmallows in her cocoa was spot on.
Take care,
Ray
  |
Good morning:
You've definitely captured the child's outlook on a particular regarding their inquisitiveness. Your explanation of why there are stars was excellent, and the touch with the marshmallows in her cocoa was spot on.
Take care,
Ray
Comment Written 12-Jul-2013
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Idamarty,
This is a very sweet poem, written as if through the eyes of a child. The poem reads and flows well and has good rhyming within. Of note:
Big white fluffy clouds go floating on by.
How did they get there? How and why?
Maybe all the angels made a special request,
So God made big pillows in case they needed to rest.
(Good imagery)
And:
So we can all be together again, I think that's why, sigh.
Ida, and as I smile, I'll just sigh and sign off.
Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
|
Hello Idamarty,
This is a very sweet poem, written as if through the eyes of a child. The poem reads and flows well and has good rhyming within. Of note:
Big white fluffy clouds go floating on by.
How did they get there? How and why?
Maybe all the angels made a special request,
So God made big pillows in case they needed to rest.
(Good imagery)
And:
So we can all be together again, I think that's why, sigh.
Ida, and as I smile, I'll just sigh and sign off.
Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
Comment from harmony13
Excellent Contest Entry! The poem was creative and the read flowed and connected well. The contest guidelines were met. The artwork was perfect and enhanced the read.
|
Excellent Contest Entry! The poem was creative and the read flowed and connected well. The contest guidelines were met. The artwork was perfect and enhanced the read.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
Comment from expressions9
A lovely poem, speaking from a child's perspective Ida. The rhyming is good and the rhythm too, although I thought perhaps each last line might flow a little better with a slight reduction in the syllable count.
Eg."So God made big pillows so they could have rest"
Lovely accompanying photo. Best wishes in the contest!
God bless,
Christine
|
A lovely poem, speaking from a child's perspective Ida. The rhyming is good and the rhythm too, although I thought perhaps each last line might flow a little better with a slight reduction in the syllable count.
Eg."So God made big pillows so they could have rest"
Lovely accompanying photo. Best wishes in the contest!
God bless,
Christine
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
Comment from kiwijenny
Love love love this. Beautifully inquiring like a child and equally beautiful artwork....clouds for angels...glitter for stars......
How and why...very appropriate for young kids
God bless loved it
|
Love love love this. Beautifully inquiring like a child and equally beautiful artwork....clouds for angels...glitter for stars......
How and why...very appropriate for young kids
God bless loved it
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
Comment from gene roush
This is good.
It begins exceptionally well and would be a great children's book.
The section in the third stanza about cocoa seems a bit off subject to me.
With a bit of work this can be amazing.
Thanks for sharing.
Gene
I live just off an Ojibwa reservation in northern Wisconsin.
I have many friends there.
 |
This is good.
It begins exceptionally well and would be a great children's book.
The section in the third stanza about cocoa seems a bit off subject to me.
With a bit of work this can be amazing.
Thanks for sharing.
Gene
I live just off an Ojibwa reservation in northern Wisconsin.
I have many friends there.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a lovely poem! It's well-written, thought-provoking, and IS what children say about everyday scenes.
Favorite lines--the ones about angels and their "pillows"
|
This is a lovely poem! It's well-written, thought-provoking, and IS what children say about everyday scenes.
Favorite lines--the ones about angels and their "pillows"
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
Comment from Brocha1
beautiful. As a mother of several little ones who love asking why, I happen to love to answer their enchanting questions.
You have portrayed this beautifully
|
beautiful. As a mother of several little ones who love asking why, I happen to love to answer their enchanting questions.
You have portrayed this beautifully
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013