Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

Definitely spoilt I would say. Your poem is lighthearted and fun to read. Nice rhymes and flow. I love the ending. Good luck in the contest!!! Debbie

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thanks, Debbie. Unfortunately no glory for Annabel in the contest, but she did get to eat all the cake!
Steve

Comment from Melspoems

Excellent

This is a great fun poem for kids about a spoilt and happy little girl.
Your quatrains are well written with a great sing song meter and good abcb rhymes. I especially like how the b rhyme is the same in each quatrain and the last line of each quatrain is a question or comment about the first three lines.

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thanks for the perceptive review - I arrived at that format after I'd already penned a few stanzas so had to go back and change the beginning.... I was more than happy with the final result though, even if the voters didn't agree!
Steve

Comment from jjstar

Excellent

Very cute and for the most part creative and original. I know nothing about form, meter or anything, but I know this was an adorable poem that would send a great message to a spoiled child in need of a lesson. The only thing which made me think twice was the rain in Spain..I was like..okay..my fair lady! Otherwise, spot on..loved it!

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012

Thanks, jj. Glad you enjoyed my spoilt but happy Annabel.
Steve

Comment from Changeisgood

Excellent

I was carried along by the lilting lines and it was so pleasant a read. Funny and ridiculous and witty, all at the same time. Wonderful and the moral is shown, but, then if she reaches 105, what the heck. Great fun. I wish you the best of luck. This poem really stands out as something children would love. I love it.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012

Thanks for the kind words - not every story has to have a moral - kids love something that is just silly and funny and doesn't have a lesson attached.
Steve

Comment from S.Yocom

Excellent

What a great poem for a child, Steve! Children like rhyme and meter, which this one has in abundance. I think that they would especially enjoy the last line of each stanza. You were robbed in this contest.
Sally

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012

Thanks, Sally - all the best reviews have come for this after the contest voting!

Comment from petervs

Excellent

She'd mountains of cake, red fizz in a lake.
~ Bet you would like some of that, too.
(YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!!!!!!!) This really is giving me the munchies! I am hungry now, and if a poems leave you with a certain feeling it is considered good right? =p It really was a pleasant read! ;-) Good luck with the contest!! I wish you nothing but the best! =)

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012

Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve

Comment from Heidixoxo

Excellent

Hello Poet,
This is such a great poem you have written and so funny too. Talk about spoiled right? You have done such a good job putting this together and the flow is perfect too. Job very well done my friend. Best of luck to you with this and thank you for sharing.....xoxo

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012

Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hi Steveh,

I love the sing song rhythm this one has. I also think it would have been a great one for the picture book contest up at the moment. Well written, lovely pictures produced in my mind and something that I believe children everywhere will enjoy. Well done and good luck. xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012

Thank you, kiwigirl - hadn't spotted the picture book contest - too late now! I did want to have a spoilt child who wasn't a brat and Annabel fitted the bill.

Comment from MikoAmaya

Excellent

lol This is awesome! How I would have loved to have these things as a child! Hmm, well, actually...maybe not. Either way, love this poem, especially the internal rhymes! Great job and thanks for sharing.
~MikoAmaya

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012

Thank you, Miko - glad you enjoyed the fun.
Steve

Comment from donaldww

Excellent

Miss Annabel is spoiled up her wazoo, with mountains of cake and other goodies too numerous to mention. She got fat, but that didn't curtail her longevity, which was reported to be 105 years.

Not too bad for a cake, fizz, and goo guzzler.

Excellent!
DW
Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012

Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve