Selfish
You can't have it all87 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
And then another 1st Prize. I can see why. Your stories are stellar, especially with your prose so well delineated. Here you had over 1000 reviews; that must be a record.
Your endings are great!
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2020
  |
And then another 1st Prize. I can see why. Your stories are stellar, especially with your prose so well delineated. Here you had over 1000 reviews; that must be a record.
Your endings are great!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2020
-
Thanks for the six stars again. I love surprise endings Ralf. glad you dom too. :) Bob
Comment from Earl Corp
Who could that be at thhe door? Excellent story starter, I can see why this won the contest. Did you continue with it? Id like to see what happens next. Brains of an oyster? Good turn of phrase there.very nice job my friend.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
 |
Who could that be at thhe door? Excellent story starter, I can see why this won the contest. Did you continue with it? Id like to see what happens next. Brains of an oyster? Good turn of phrase there.very nice job my friend.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
-
Thank you, Earl. I appreciate your input. No, I left this starter as is. It probably would be a good starter sometime though. : ) Bob
Comment from barkingdog
I'm totally enjoying these re-posings, Bob. I missed so much of your early work.
You deserved the win on this one.
Love the ending. Who's at the door? What will he do?
Your descriptions are top-notch as in this paragraph:
'A short, squat man with hairy hands, Ramirez wore a red beret that barely covered the crown of his lumpy bald dome. Resembling a snapping turtle--his vast knobby head was moist and hairless, his nose beaked sharply to meet the thin severe line of his lips forming a lethal-looking overbite. His grin revealed many crooked gaps. '
Loved it.
:) e
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
|
I'm totally enjoying these re-posings, Bob. I missed so much of your early work.
You deserved the win on this one.
Love the ending. Who's at the door? What will he do?
Your descriptions are top-notch as in this paragraph:
'A short, squat man with hairy hands, Ramirez wore a red beret that barely covered the crown of his lumpy bald dome. Resembling a snapping turtle--his vast knobby head was moist and hairless, his nose beaked sharply to meet the thin severe line of his lips forming a lethal-looking overbite. His grin revealed many crooked gaps. '
Loved it.
:) e
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
-
Thanks so much, my dear Ellen. You are always so supportive. : ) XX Bob
Comment from Sallyo
brains of an oyster
Ha!
Eeek! That turned from hard-boiled humour to harder-boiled horror in the blink of a tit. Very well written, and a fine showcase for your gift with characterisation and for getting the right style/tone for the genre.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
|
brains of an oyster
Ha!
Eeek! That turned from hard-boiled humour to harder-boiled horror in the blink of a tit. Very well written, and a fine showcase for your gift with characterisation and for getting the right style/tone for the genre.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
-
Thanks so much, Sally. I am so glad you enjoyed this one. : ) Bob
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
"She needed a personality transplant, but that mattered very little to Ramirez." This is one of many gems, Bob. I can see why you placed first. What a brilliant opening. The violence is so expertly crafted and horrifying. The characters are so specific and well drawn. Look forward to more of your stunning work!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
|
"She needed a personality transplant, but that mattered very little to Ramirez." This is one of many gems, Bob. I can see why you placed first. What a brilliant opening. The violence is so expertly crafted and horrifying. The characters are so specific and well drawn. Look forward to more of your stunning work!
Comment Written 10-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
-
Thanks so much. I appreciate your kind review. May I ask, what id your name? : ) Bob
Comment from Pearl Edwards
body of an angel, brains of an oyster - loved that description.
A great story-starter Bob, plenty of action in this one, and much more to come, I'm thinking. Really enjoyed this one,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
|
body of an angel, brains of an oyster - loved that description.
A great story-starter Bob, plenty of action in this one, and much more to come, I'm thinking. Really enjoyed this one,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 10-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
-
Thank you so much, my friend. I appreciate you as always. Bob
Comment from WryWriter
This story shows the dangerous unpredictability of a controlling, self-centered person. Your descriptive word usage and well-defined characters brought the scenes to life. A definite winner!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
|
This story shows the dangerous unpredictability of a controlling, self-centered person. Your descriptive word usage and well-defined characters brought the scenes to life. A definite winner!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
-
Thanks so much wry writer. May I have your name please? so much easier to confer back and forth for me. : ) Bob
Comment from light
This was another well deserved winner. Your great descriptions pulled the reader in and kept up that interest to the end. Certainly a great story starter.
Elaine
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
|
This was another well deserved winner. Your great descriptions pulled the reader in and kept up that interest to the end. Certainly a great story starter.
Elaine
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
-
Thank you, Elaine. (Don't think I have forgotten your plot idea...just been busy) : ) Bob
-
I understand.
Elaine
Comment from judiverse
This is quite a "noir" story. Ramirez and Candy are not likely to win good citizenship awards. Ramirez is money and power hungry, and he sees women as just objects for his sexual pleasure. Candy is gorgeous but doesn't have much going on upstairs. Like Ramirez, sex is all-important to her. Ramirez doesn't see anything wrong in cheating on Candy, but he goes berserk when she's looking for a new Love Baby. No one does that to Ramirez. I was expecting the snake to come in somewhere. Ramirez will surely get his due for committing murder, but he probably knows some good lawyers. Great story! judi
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
|
This is quite a "noir" story. Ramirez and Candy are not likely to win good citizenship awards. Ramirez is money and power hungry, and he sees women as just objects for his sexual pleasure. Candy is gorgeous but doesn't have much going on upstairs. Like Ramirez, sex is all-important to her. Ramirez doesn't see anything wrong in cheating on Candy, but he goes berserk when she's looking for a new Love Baby. No one does that to Ramirez. I was expecting the snake to come in somewhere. Ramirez will surely get his due for committing murder, but he probably knows some good lawyers. Great story! judi
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
-
Thanks Judi. I wrote this one a while back before I started writing novels. : ) Bob
-
You're welcome. this is excellent. judi
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You have really gotten a hold on the reader when you mention the boa. Many sex-based relationships are fed by excitement and danger. I have not known of many sex-based relationships to endure the winters of real life. I see this story follows the same line of realness. This will draw many readers in who secretly look for or have looked for that same adrenaline rush. Cheaters cheat on their cheaters and many wreak the havoc due their distorted thinking. The ending give the reader the sense if they say around they will witness Ramirez's tension and rush climbing. Well written.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
|
You have really gotten a hold on the reader when you mention the boa. Many sex-based relationships are fed by excitement and danger. I have not known of many sex-based relationships to endure the winters of real life. I see this story follows the same line of realness. This will draw many readers in who secretly look for or have looked for that same adrenaline rush. Cheaters cheat on their cheaters and many wreak the havoc due their distorted thinking. The ending give the reader the sense if they say around they will witness Ramirez's tension and rush climbing. Well written.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
-
Thank you, Liz. : ) Bob