The Ice Princess
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Flashback! Remembering When"Love, Hate, Conflicts and Fear
30 total reviews
Comment from Rain Chapman
Do I sense a man who doesn't talk so he lost the girl of his dreams? Oooh, I hope so! It will make for so much interesting reading later. Boy, was she harsh with him, but then I think everyone says things they don't mean when hurt and angry. Great chapter!
Lorraine :)
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2009
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Do I sense a man who doesn't talk so he lost the girl of his dreams? Oooh, I hope so! It will make for so much interesting reading later. Boy, was she harsh with him, but then I think everyone says things they don't mean when hurt and angry. Great chapter!
Lorraine :)
Comment Written 12-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2009
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Lorraine
Her stubburn streak was already beginning to show! Carol
Comment from LiveLoveDie
It was very good.
But I think you could have added more to this chapter. Maybe developed it a little better.
Otherwise great story. I can't wait to read the rest.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2009
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It was very good.
But I think you could have added more to this chapter. Maybe developed it a little better.
Otherwise great story. I can't wait to read the rest.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2009
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LiveLoveDie
I would have loved to add more to every one of the chapters but the contest only allows me 10,000 words...which I am currently trying to reduce. Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from maciascm
Wow this was a very interesting story, it was very enjoyable to read. It keep me on my toes and wanting to continue to read more. You did a very good job on this story. I can't wait to read more of your stories!!
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2009
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Wow this was a very interesting story, it was very enjoyable to read. It keep me on my toes and wanting to continue to read more. You did a very good job on this story. I can't wait to read more of your stories!!
Comment Written 12-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2009
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maciascm
I have posted 4-5-6-7-8 chapters and the ending is pending. I am glad you enjoyed these and hope that you continue to read. Thanks again Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh dear, I can see where the hurt comes in, now you have the job of them getting over their hurt, renewing their love and making it work. Good luck, but you can do it.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Oh dear, I can see where the hurt comes in, now you have the job of them getting over their hurt, renewing their love and making it work. Good luck, but you can do it.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Barbara
It's there..everything is posted except for the last chapter which #9. Hope you enjoy it! Carol
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I don't have a clue how I missed them. I have been very busy and of course sick through a whole mess, but they should have stayed in my PM box. Believe me, I would never miss your post on purpose.
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Barb
You say you were sick...Are you okay now?
I have posted all 8 chapters with the ending left to do. I am so glad that you can read them...this has been nerve racking for me...Carol
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Just a bad cold. I caught it from my first graders, but it zapped my energy, during a huge inspecation at school. It just all came at one. I'm still trying to recover this week end.
Comment from RebelRose
Wow. What a flashback. I have the feeling that she is going to regret (probably always has) the way she ended things between them. I will be looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Wow. What a flashback. I have the feeling that she is going to regret (probably always has) the way she ended things between them. I will be looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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RebelRose
Hurrah! That's the kind of response I was hoping to get...Thank you for the encouragement and for lifting my spirits. Carol
Comment from redglasses
Chapter 3 suggestions - first sentence- change "down memory lane" (cliche) to "found her memory slipping back to the past"; carefully slammed the door - change "carefull"y to "emphatically"; Try cutting the last sentence in the first paragraph altogether; ho rmone-raging needs to be hyphenated; Can you combine paragraphs 2 &3? omit "except her" - it's understood; change "to an 18 year old" to "to her 18 year old heart.." ; change "ecstasy of passionate love-making" to ecstasy of passion"; add Christmas to "after the ^ break" ... Make the sentence "every day she fell a little harder - omit "a little further" "He made love to her should be he'd made..." change" wild passion was" to "wild passion had been" ; "half-bad" should be hyphenated; I'm not sure you need "traitorous" - it may be confusing; add te word "TO" to Pop told me to get a job or get out"; "she unceremoniously" walked out - omit "quietly closing the door behind her"
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Chapter 3 suggestions - first sentence- change "down memory lane" (cliche) to "found her memory slipping back to the past"; carefully slammed the door - change "carefull"y to "emphatically"; Try cutting the last sentence in the first paragraph altogether; ho rmone-raging needs to be hyphenated; Can you combine paragraphs 2 &3? omit "except her" - it's understood; change "to an 18 year old" to "to her 18 year old heart.." ; change "ecstasy of passionate love-making" to ecstasy of passion"; add Christmas to "after the ^ break" ... Make the sentence "every day she fell a little harder - omit "a little further" "He made love to her should be he'd made..." change" wild passion was" to "wild passion had been" ; "half-bad" should be hyphenated; I'm not sure you need "traitorous" - it may be confusing; add te word "TO" to Pop told me to get a job or get out"; "she unceremoniously" walked out - omit "quietly closing the door behind her"
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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REdglasses
Thanks for the suggestions. I agreed with most of them and have already made the changes. I didn't change the one's with had because i have have numerous people telling me that using had and that were two things publishers hated. But I did agree with most and appreciate the review. Thanks so much. Carol
Comment from BPL76
I am giving you a four because the dialog does not see right to me
But that is just my opinion
This chapter did flow well
I have read other works from you and you still have a talent to make me want more
Good Job
BPL
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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I am giving you a four because the dialog does not see right to me
But that is just my opinion
This chapter did flow well
I have read other works from you and you still have a talent to make me want more
Good Job
BPL
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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BPL
Would like to give me some suggestions on how the dialogue should be so that I might consider further changes? I am always open to why people think something is wrong. Carol
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Sure
I find most people write from the mind but do not take in to condersation of how the words sound to others
Just because it makes sense to you is good but not always to reader
My suggestion is to read the dialog out loud
so you can find the mistakes yourself
I don't like bashing people saying NONONO
But i think you have pulled it through
I was enjoying the story as a hole to much to find any real complant
So goos luck let me know when you have revised iot
I want to re-read it
And enjoy it again
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I went back into that chapter and changed some of the conversation...Not all of it but I think it might be a little less stilted. Thanks for the suggestions..
Comment from anabellapongasi
Another nice chapter. I love the flashback scenes- the strong emotions, the love scenes- all very vivid. and of course the heartbreak and the pain that remains...Oh, I'm really enjoying myself too much. I wish I could go on reading but it"s way past bed time(it's almost midnight here in my country) so I have to stop for now. I have a big day tomorrow.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Another nice chapter. I love the flashback scenes- the strong emotions, the love scenes- all very vivid. and of course the heartbreak and the pain that remains...Oh, I'm really enjoying myself too much. I wish I could go on reading but it"s way past bed time(it's almost midnight here in my country) so I have to stop for now. I have a big day tomorrow.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Anabella
Thanks for staying up so late and reading my story...have sweet dreams and hopefully return tomorrow. Thanks again. Carol
Comment from Queenise
Friend this is another great chapter filled with action and drama and everything that makes for a good read. I enjoyed this one a lot too. The flow and pace as well as your creativity shines through. Keep up the good work. Would recommend. Queenise
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Friend this is another great chapter filled with action and drama and everything that makes for a good read. I enjoyed this one a lot too. The flow and pace as well as your creativity shines through. Keep up the good work. Would recommend. Queenise
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Queenise
Did you skip Chapter 2...because you need it to know what's going on further on...
Thanks for the generous comments. I greatly appreciate the review. CArol
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You're welcome friend. I will have to check chapter 2. I think I read it but am not sure. Blessings. Queenise
Comment from MJMuraco
The passion in this chapter is written so vividly. You did an excellent job of creating the emotion and pain she was feeling.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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The passion in this chapter is written so vividly. You did an excellent job of creating the emotion and pain she was feeling.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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MJ
Thank you so much. I was hoping that it seemed realistic and the reader could sense how hurt she was. Thanks for the review.
Carol