CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 93 "Blackjack Blues"A collection of poetry
40 total reviews
Comment from Miska
First let me say I think this is a great poem. However with due respect I can't find 'Feel' and wonder if Shuffled and Pealing are allowed or is it only plurals? Perhaps in the fourth stanza you could have 'Feel its in the stack' instead of 'know'. I hasten to add that I think the poem is in fact well written. good luck. regards Miska
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First let me say I think this is a great poem. However with due respect I can't find 'Feel' and wonder if Shuffled and Pealing are allowed or is it only plurals? Perhaps in the fourth stanza you could have 'Feel its in the stack' instead of 'know'. I hasten to add that I think the poem is in fact well written. good luck. regards Miska
Comment Written 19-Jan-2009
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This one is also a nice piece that tells a simple story. I like your choice of words. You are obviously in love with the formal style of poetry. well done.
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This one is also a nice piece that tells a simple story. I like your choice of words. You are obviously in love with the formal style of poetry. well done.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2009
Comment from AlvinTEthington
This was extremely interesting to me, as I am rather good at blackjack and have been asked to leave two casinos--one in Las Vegas (to which I went back years later and they didn't remember me), and one in Reno (where I worked out an agreement with the management that I could play any game in the casino BUT blackjack.) You show the risk of relying on luck rather than statistics in a game that is all about statistics.
I couldn't find the word "feel," unless you subsumed it under "felt", which is against the contest directives. Also, Tom advised me against using past tense (e.g. "shuffled" for "shuffle") in a private message.
Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme.
If I am wrong, and "feel" is somewhere in there, please do advise. I did read the poem five times, however.
Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme and excellent juxtaposition of picture and poem.
Second Review:
"Feel" was added, so I raised the rating; however, I am still concerned about the use of the word "shuffled" with the extra "d."
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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This was extremely interesting to me, as I am rather good at blackjack and have been asked to leave two casinos--one in Las Vegas (to which I went back years later and they didn't remember me), and one in Reno (where I worked out an agreement with the management that I could play any game in the casino BUT blackjack.) You show the risk of relying on luck rather than statistics in a game that is all about statistics.
I couldn't find the word "feel," unless you subsumed it under "felt", which is against the contest directives. Also, Tom advised me against using past tense (e.g. "shuffled" for "shuffle") in a private message.
Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme.
If I am wrong, and "feel" is somewhere in there, please do advise. I did read the poem five times, however.
Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme and excellent juxtaposition of picture and poem.
Second Review:
"Feel" was added, so I raised the rating; however, I am still concerned about the use of the word "shuffled" with the extra "d."
Comment Written 19-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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You were SO correct! Feel was missing. Major FAUX PAS! I have repaired damage, though. I appreciate your thorough read and help on this. With kindest regards, Sue
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I re-reviewed.
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Thank you! Really appreciate your time.
Sue
Comment from Paradox Tremors
I think you have written out the winner with this wonderful piece (guess I missed this one earlier). Well written and should stomp my into the ground (LOL). Best of luck in the contest my friend.
P.S.
Remember us "little people" when you win (LOL).
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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I think you have written out the winner with this wonderful piece (guess I missed this one earlier). Well written and should stomp my into the ground (LOL). Best of luck in the contest my friend.
P.S.
Remember us "little people" when you win (LOL).
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Paradox, you're too funny!! Well....okay...I will allow you to say, "I knew her when". LOL!!! I had a lot of fun writing this because I sure do love blackjack! Don't get to play often, but it's my game of choice. Thanks for your great (and fun) review! Always appreciated...Sue
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Like, ohmygod, fer sure, I knew her way back when, the night before yesterday (LOL). I'll go on all the talk shows and tell everyone about your dirty laundry -- oh wait, that's my brother I promised to do that with (LOL).
Really a good poem!
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That's it! Now, I can't write that nasty poem for the "Naughty Bits" contest, or it will come back to haunt me for my great future! HA!!
Comment from Dreamdancer
LOLOL...
Hello my friend! Being from Vegas we learn to refrain from the tables. Its true one has better odds but that depends on the number of decks at the table. I like your poem it has good rhythm and flow and is complimented by your imagery... Great write and good luck... Dreamdancer
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LOLOL...
Hello my friend! Being from Vegas we learn to refrain from the tables. Its true one has better odds but that depends on the number of decks at the table. I like your poem it has good rhythm and flow and is complimented by your imagery... Great write and good luck... Dreamdancer
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
Comment from Firefly54
Well if you hadn't told us, I wouldn't have guessed which your enforced words were, sixteezkid. This rolls along so nicely, loved the first stanza in particular. Good luck!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Well if you hadn't told us, I wouldn't have guessed which your enforced words were, sixteezkid. This rolls along so nicely, loved the first stanza in particular. Good luck!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Now, THAT's a compliment!! Thanks so much for this great review! And for your well-wishes. :-)) Sue
Comment from bard owl
Very nicely done. If you hadn't told me that certain words were necessary for this contest, I wouldn't have guessed. I don't gamble. I have tried but Lady Luck is never with me. Well, maybe she is, snickering in the background as I consistantly lose. Excellent imagery in this one. This type of contest really tests the skill of the writer, don't you think? Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Very nicely done. If you hadn't told me that certain words were necessary for this contest, I wouldn't have guessed. I don't gamble. I have tried but Lady Luck is never with me. Well, maybe she is, snickering in the background as I consistantly lose. Excellent imagery in this one. This type of contest really tests the skill of the writer, don't you think? Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Yes, I agree. This was a REAL test! Just another great thing about these contests. Hone, hone, hone! HA! I gamble a wee bit, but only when I'm in Vegas, which is rare. But, I do love 21. Thanks very much for your review and comments! Always appreciated, Sue
Comment from chaswriter
Sue - You gambler you. Never been to Vegas but both daughters have at least twice and each time they go they win enough at blackjack to pay for their trips. Don't know how they do it. Loved your storyline with great rhyme and fluid pace. Charlie
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Sue - You gambler you. Never been to Vegas but both daughters have at least twice and each time they go they win enough at blackjack to pay for their trips. Don't know how they do it. Loved your storyline with great rhyme and fluid pace. Charlie
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Your daughters are smart. Better odds than those blasted slot machines! HA!! I like Vegas for the great shows. Would love to get over there to see the new Criss Angel "Believe" show. Love magic! Thanks so much for your review and compliments! Always appreciated. :-)) Sue
Comment from rmdelta
Sue,
A very uplifting poem, my friend. Been there, done that, except my downfall is always craps. This is a great contest entry, Sue and I wish you good luck in the contest.
Reggie
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Sue,
A very uplifting poem, my friend. Been there, done that, except my downfall is always craps. This is a great contest entry, Sue and I wish you good luck in the contest.
Reggie
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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A craps man! Not for me. Only because I cannot for the life of me understand it. One time, many moons ago, I went up to a craps table and just started laying chips down. I had no clue as to what was happening. My chips were piling up! I saw I had more than doubled my money and bolted! HA!! Never played again. Thanks for the contest well-wishes and your very nice review, Reggie. :-)) Sue
Comment from steevie
the poem had a good rhythm but many of the rhymes were forced and hurt the poem, as a whole.
I always read poems out loud and this way, the writer can 'hear' if words are straining to rhyme
steve
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the poem had a good rhythm but many of the rhymes were forced and hurt the poem, as a whole.
I always read poems out loud and this way, the writer can 'hear' if words are straining to rhyme
steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009