Caduceus
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Alcoholics Anonymous"cardiologist falsely accused of wrongful death
10 total reviews
Comment from cinderbella
One of the AA traditions states "Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films." I would think this would include book or chapter titles. In fact, I was told it was okay to write in a general way about a "twelve-step program" but not to use the title of "Alcoholics Anonymous".
I am giving you the five stars because I think your writing deserves it. But your book is fiction, and using that chapter title, in my opinion, is inappropriate. cinderbella
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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One of the AA traditions states "Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films." I would think this would include book or chapter titles. In fact, I was told it was okay to write in a general way about a "twelve-step program" but not to use the title of "Alcoholics Anonymous".
I am giving you the five stars because I think your writing deserves it. But your book is fiction, and using that chapter title, in my opinion, is inappropriate. cinderbella
Comment Written 02-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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Very good thought---never crossed my mind---thanks for nice review. I need not name the chapters at all. It's for my own conveience to remmember what each is about. Later---I ll simply number each one. However, the entire world knows that AA exists..right?Thanks--hope you'll read more.-Doug
Comment from allborn66
This is a wonderful chapter. I can relate to the joy of doing something new and fitting in. The story moved at a nice pace. The dialogue is believable.
Barbara
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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This is a wonderful chapter. I can relate to the joy of doing something new and fitting in. The story moved at a nice pace. The dialogue is believable.
Barbara
Comment Written 31-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Barbara--Barbara---Barbara-you are sooo nice.--------Doug
Comment from Gungalo
Ahhh you feel at home in this group. That's good, or is that bad. Only time will tell, eh? At least you are attending the group sessions.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Ahhh you feel at home in this group. That's good, or is that bad. Only time will tell, eh? At least you are attending the group sessions.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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G-G-Gungalo----so nice to have you reading.--Thanks-Doug
Comment from lindalcreel
I would have thought the first meeting would be the hardest,but Neil seemed to know what he's talking about. I know the long hours that most physicians work and they barely have time for their patients let alone meetings. I hope that he will continue and the pink cloud won't prevent him from seeking his goal. Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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I would have thought the first meeting would be the hardest,but Neil seemed to know what he's talking about. I know the long hours that most physicians work and they barely have time for their patients let alone meetings. I hope that he will continue and the pink cloud won't prevent him from seeking his goal. Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Linda---Linda--Linda---so nice to have you reading. Thanks------------Doug
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So nice to read this story. I'm so glad that you have decided to write; it's good for the soul.
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Thank you. It's now or never. What if I get published---really published--with a credible company. I'll be soooooo excited.
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I think that would be wonderful. I like self-publishing because you don't have to wait to see your book in print. I had some interest from some agents, but that one year plan didn't appeal to me and I still had some work to do. Maybe I'll try with one of the next books. I hate the query letters; those are the worst.
Comment from witness4HIM
Again you have placed your reader right into the the scene with feeling David's emotions of many, and his friend, a colleague, and given him hope for a better future without alcohol.
I find this chapter also easy to read and follow and this gives your reader more desire to red a book such as this medical book mixed with personal strifes and fears.
I hope a person who is in rehab reads this novel and is being helped by your words of experience.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2013
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Again you have placed your reader right into the the scene with feeling David's emotions of many, and his friend, a colleague, and given him hope for a better future without alcohol.
I find this chapter also easy to read and follow and this gives your reader more desire to red a book such as this medical book mixed with personal strifes and fears.
I hope a person who is in rehab reads this novel and is being helped by your words of experience.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2013
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ditto
Comment from babylonia
doug,
this is definitely a good add. it really gets to the heart of recovery and lets the nonmembers of a twelve step group see how it works. lets them know that it isn't always about just quiting. good job.
i did see a few spaggies but all can be fixed.
Just don't make unrealistic commitments. (spelling - commitments)
I'm surely on your side, and I'd (comma)
Wayne Trail Elementary School (i think you are supposed to capitalize all the name)
I better be careful, cautious. (period)
(new sentence) Optimism is best. (yes, it is with a capital O. LOL)
barbara
definitely a great chapter. easy to read and follow. i did see a few spaggies and a few thoughts.
be careful of the spacing between chapters
you look a little shocked to see me. (spelling - shocked)
Shows how effective the anonymity rules are in AA. (add in AA so you aren't ending with verb)
lots of docs who can't face it. amen
face the reality of their problem. (change there to their)
but rarely is it. (good words - just needs turned around a bit)
nurses ignore the problem as well.
i like the way you added the info about the beginning of the meetings so that people who have never been can identify what happens. if they ever have to attend a recovery meeting then they will understand what is happening.
newcomers is one word
for who he was, and that he (comma)
there is always a difference between people who want to be somewhere and people who are forced to be there.
helping with pre-meeting activities such (change activity to activities since it is more than one, drop comma here)
looks like he is headed for a pink cloud. :P
even if he slips, he will definitely recall this moment and want it back.
imagery is excellent. made me smile. made me laugh when he forgot to identify himself as an alcoholic. definitely keep up the good work~
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2008
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doug,
this is definitely a good add. it really gets to the heart of recovery and lets the nonmembers of a twelve step group see how it works. lets them know that it isn't always about just quiting. good job.
i did see a few spaggies but all can be fixed.
Just don't make unrealistic commitments. (spelling - commitments)
I'm surely on your side, and I'd (comma)
Wayne Trail Elementary School (i think you are supposed to capitalize all the name)
I better be careful, cautious. (period)
(new sentence) Optimism is best. (yes, it is with a capital O. LOL)
barbara
definitely a great chapter. easy to read and follow. i did see a few spaggies and a few thoughts.
be careful of the spacing between chapters
you look a little shocked to see me. (spelling - shocked)
Shows how effective the anonymity rules are in AA. (add in AA so you aren't ending with verb)
lots of docs who can't face it. amen
face the reality of their problem. (change there to their)
but rarely is it. (good words - just needs turned around a bit)
nurses ignore the problem as well.
i like the way you added the info about the beginning of the meetings so that people who have never been can identify what happens. if they ever have to attend a recovery meeting then they will understand what is happening.
newcomers is one word
for who he was, and that he (comma)
there is always a difference between people who want to be somewhere and people who are forced to be there.
helping with pre-meeting activities such (change activity to activities since it is more than one, drop comma here)
looks like he is headed for a pink cloud. :P
even if he slips, he will definitely recall this moment and want it back.
imagery is excellent. made me smile. made me laugh when he forgot to identify himself as an alcoholic. definitely keep up the good work~
Comment Written 04-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2008
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Barb---THANKS. What a nice review. You read closely enough to find SPAG that I and others missed. I have added a paragraph on Pink Clouds. Also added a few lines as you rec. I have a question? What do you mean my chapter spacing? Thanks------Doug
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doug,
LOL chapter spacing ... i meant paragraph spacing. looks like i spaced for a second when i was typing it out. :P
i will go back and see the part about the pink cloud. i am always interested in the way people deal with them.
barbara
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Thanks Barb---If I edit on FS it often screws up the Para spacing----Thanks for reading a again. Doug
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doug,
i understand. i usually edit in word. occasionally i had had evil edie take away a space or put in stray question marks and copyright symbols. not often.
barbara
Comment from SecretSquirrel
It reads pretty smooth and doesn't have any problems. The content is pretty readable and all fits together. It does lack description of what the people look like, and there could be a little more description here and there, but it reads pretty well without it.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2008
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It reads pretty smooth and doesn't have any problems. The content is pretty readable and all fits together. It does lack description of what the people look like, and there could be a little more description here and there, but it reads pretty well without it.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2008
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Thanks SS. I'll consider adding more description ---nice review---Thanks again-Doug
Comment from Adora Bayles
I can see where this is going. I am glad you are putting out this message. But I cannot believe anyone is predisposed to alcoholism. What if a man never tasted the stuff, what if it never existed? What would he be predisposed to? I have a little bit of SPAG for you and I'm glad you appreciate it.
He spent many months in a physicians rehab program
Physicians? rehab
Numerous members gave David there phone numbers,
Their phone numbers. (There are three ways to spell there and all have different meanings.
There rhymes with where and both connote place.
Their rhymes with heir and both words connote ownership.
They?re is a contraction for they are.)
Numerous members gave David their phone numbers,
Adora
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2008
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I can see where this is going. I am glad you are putting out this message. But I cannot believe anyone is predisposed to alcoholism. What if a man never tasted the stuff, what if it never existed? What would he be predisposed to? I have a little bit of SPAG for you and I'm glad you appreciate it.
He spent many months in a physicians rehab program
Physicians? rehab
Numerous members gave David there phone numbers,
Their phone numbers. (There are three ways to spell there and all have different meanings.
There rhymes with where and both connote place.
Their rhymes with heir and both words connote ownership.
They?re is a contraction for they are.)
Numerous members gave David their phone numbers,
Adora
Comment Written 04-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2008
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Hi AB---Thanks for detailed review----SPAG noted. Regarding genetic predisposition---you're right---if one who is predisposed to alcholism never drinks, it isn't a problem. However, nearly everyone drinks at one time or another. genetic abnormalities interfearing with the metabolism of ethonol, alcohol, have been discovered. these individuals get more easily intoxicated and seem to crave it. American Indians are an example of a genetic trait prevelant in a particular race. However, it can be inherited by others-caucasions, etc----I'm an MD.---Thanks again----Doug
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Thanks for the info. I didn't know. You may enjoy reading my new contest entry "Roundup in Big Cypress." It's a hoot!
Adora
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Thanks. I'll read roundup---I love humor.---Doug
Comment from guyowen
Now that wasn't written through research... great job. that first mtg is the toughest... right after the 2nd! I walkede in saw a friend and froze... I'm caught... no, wait. he's here too.
what a relief. Try to find my poem "Left Alone" and see if it doesn't resonate with the feelings of an addict.
again, well done. thk you for your honesty
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2008
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Now that wasn't written through research... great job. that first mtg is the toughest... right after the 2nd! I walkede in saw a friend and froze... I'm caught... no, wait. he's here too.
what a relief. Try to find my poem "Left Alone" and see if it doesn't resonate with the feelings of an addict.
again, well done. thk you for your honesty
Comment Written 04-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2008
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Hi guy----very nice comments---I'd like to add the "Friend" idea to the chapter-----thanks again----yes -there was no reseach required.---Doug
Comment from robeth
Since this is the first chapter I've read, I'll not comment on the story line. I enjoyed your writing, it flows smoothly and I didn't notice any SPAG. One point I'd like to make is the second to last paragraph. It seems that there is a time shift, from getting into his car at the end of the meeting to how he felt arriving back in Toledo. The transition is too abrupt and throws off the reader, you might consider reworking it. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2008
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Since this is the first chapter I've read, I'll not comment on the story line. I enjoyed your writing, it flows smoothly and I didn't notice any SPAG. One point I'd like to make is the second to last paragraph. It seems that there is a time shift, from getting into his car at the end of the meeting to how he felt arriving back in Toledo. The transition is too abrupt and throws off the reader, you might consider reworking it. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 04-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2008
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Thanks robeth---very nice review. I'll clarify the ending. Doug