Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

I sure don't know what's happening, Marilyn, which of course is your intentions, but I don't want to be in her shoes ...ever! You are moving the story forward with the suspense. Great job!
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2024

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

Again, this is such an intense story! The atmosphere you've created is thick with tension! I really feel Sarah's desperation. I'm with her as she tries to make sense of what's happening. The way you build the urgency with the timer is great. I'm hooked and would love to see what happens next!

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2024

Comment from Julie Helms

Excellent

So now we have the first inkling that something supernatural is going on--room going from old and rusted to shiny and functional, the door disappearing behind her.
Great description and tension and mystery!

A suggestion:

Its body was clad in a suit that looked like it belonged in a sci-fi film sleek, angular, and lined
(I would put a colon between film and seek....Sci-fi film: sleek, angular, and lined...)

Great chapter!
Julie
:-)
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 Comment Written 25-Nov-2024