Pride
Pride tends to block people blessings and lose battles5 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You're very brave to attempt a contest with your very first milestone post. Congratulations!!!!!
I enjoyed reading this Rhyming Poem contest entry. I noticed some rhyming words as I read, but not consistently throughout the poem. Maybe I missed something, it's possible. Good luck with the contest.
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You're very brave to attempt a contest with your very first milestone post. Congratulations!!!!!
I enjoyed reading this Rhyming Poem contest entry. I noticed some rhyming words as I read, but not consistently throughout the poem. Maybe I missed something, it's possible. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
Comment from Begin Again
Congratulations on joining FanStory and posting your first poem. Blessed be your soul for having been baptized into the arms of the Lord. I speak from experience, having faced many tragedies and walked through a sea of darkness. Once you walk with the hand of the Lord in yours, the light will show you the way. Let go of the pain and find happiness as you move forward. I wish you the best!
Smiles, Carol
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Congratulations on joining FanStory and posting your first poem. Blessed be your soul for having been baptized into the arms of the Lord. I speak from experience, having faced many tragedies and walked through a sea of darkness. Once you walk with the hand of the Lord in yours, the light will show you the way. Let go of the pain and find happiness as you move forward. I wish you the best!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
Comment from papa55mike
It takes a lot of fortitude to step forward and be baptized. Your family was cheering in heaven. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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It takes a lot of fortitude to step forward and be baptized. Your family was cheering in heaven. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Congrats on your first post! It's so powerful. Your poem is deeply moving. The lines about missing your brother and finding solace in faith really stood out. You do a wonderful job of sharing both the pain and hope in your experience. Your belief in trusting God shines is refreshing and wonderful to read. It's such a heartfelt poem. I'm sure many will find comfort and inspiration in your words. Keep sharing your powerful voice!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Congrats on your first post! It's so powerful. Your poem is deeply moving. The lines about missing your brother and finding solace in faith really stood out. You do a wonderful job of sharing both the pain and hope in your experience. Your belief in trusting God shines is refreshing and wonderful to read. It's such a heartfelt poem. I'm sure many will find comfort and inspiration in your words. Keep sharing your powerful voice!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Thank you for your kind words. I definitely want other people to relate that has been through anything that I've been through. Your words are heart felt as all I ever wanted was to get my voice and thoughts out and see how it has an effect on the next person. I give my life to GOD as he has ultimately gave us life. Thank You so much Michael.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Congrats on your first milestone and welcome on board!
Pride is a strange thing. We can be proud of ourselves for achieving and doing well. But, as you say, pride can also block out others and be too all-consuming.
You express a lot here about yourself and you do it candidly in your free verse, divulging the good as well as the not so good. This introspection then leads you to think about your late brother with a mix of sadness and happiness that he's with your granny. Your story then evolves to a much more resolute you, determined to look ahead, not back, and embrace the future inspired by God. I really like the force of this latter part.
Some small suggestions: perhaps if you broke this up into, maybe, 3 stanzas in slightly larger font it would improve readability for those members here who have sight issues. Also, there's no need to include the title and your name in the text box. In fact, we're encouraged not to do it. Finally - re(sentment).
But an excellent verse, simply needing a slight tweaking. Take care Debbie. PS I'm not sure about the difference between reward and prize?
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Congrats on your first milestone and welcome on board!
Pride is a strange thing. We can be proud of ourselves for achieving and doing well. But, as you say, pride can also block out others and be too all-consuming.
You express a lot here about yourself and you do it candidly in your free verse, divulging the good as well as the not so good. This introspection then leads you to think about your late brother with a mix of sadness and happiness that he's with your granny. Your story then evolves to a much more resolute you, determined to look ahead, not back, and embrace the future inspired by God. I really like the force of this latter part.
Some small suggestions: perhaps if you broke this up into, maybe, 3 stanzas in slightly larger font it would improve readability for those members here who have sight issues. Also, there's no need to include the title and your name in the text box. In fact, we're encouraged not to do it. Finally - re(sentment).
But an excellent verse, simply needing a slight tweaking. Take care Debbie. PS I'm not sure about the difference between reward and prize?
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Thank you for your awesome feedback, I greatly appreciate it. I also will keep in mind about my name under the title. As far a reward vs. prize yes they are interchangeable words. Reward is more meaningful to me, something given in return for a service, effort or good deed. Prize is just a simple reward as if your kids good good grades or completed potty training. I will however be putting out more of my work as well as taking my writing serious as I started after my brother was murdered, when I was twelve years old. I truly appreciate your feedback.
