I'm The Reason
What if8 total reviews
Comment from SimianSavant
I saw this entry immediately and was at a loss of words at first for what to say, other than that I am currently writing a song on the top of drug overdose deaths. Your brutal transparency with this story makes this one a clear winner, and it's a story that must be told from rooftops for others to have a chance at escaping the same fate.
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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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I saw this entry immediately and was at a loss of words at first for what to say, other than that I am currently writing a song on the top of drug overdose deaths. Your brutal transparency with this story makes this one a clear winner, and it's a story that must be told from rooftops for others to have a chance at escaping the same fate.
🦍
Comment Written 31-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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You're writing a song about it, huh? That should be interesting. Thank you for the great review and big sixer, Harambe. Yeah, why on earth she was messing with that crap I'll never know. It's all over the news that it kills so why? I don't get it. I appreciate it, friend. Have a great rest of your weekend and holiday and let me know when you get the song done.
Comment from Julie Helms
I've come back to this review box several times before I could write anything. I don't 'know' your pain, but I sure could feel it through your story. I was crying by the end.
The answer to all this is simply Evil. It infests our world, our nation, our families, and our minds. It has one goal: destruction.
You were not the reason for this tragedy, nor do I think you could have been the solution. I understand you feel if you'd known, you would have dragged your daughter away from those influencing her, but would that have solved the problem?
Another writer in this contest took the tack of showing how his 'what if' moment actually led to the same conclusion as his actual choice. I think there is some truth there.
Your daughter did have a way out...you offered it to her. But she declined. Problems like addiction, loneliness, insecurity, etc lead to self-sabotage. You could have removed her from the situation, but you couldn't remove her from her own damaging thought processes.
It's possible even the horrible men who led her down this path were just as victimized the same way...like how a molested child may grow up to become a pedophile. Victim becomes victimizer. This is evil in action. It destroys everything in its path. This is why the Bible says our battle is not with flesh and blood, but with the (spiritual) powers of darkness.
Changing your thinking on this won't offer some magic pill of feeling better. But you do need to stop blaming yourself. That is part of evil's plan, and will eat away at you.
Your story was powerful, heartwrenching, and you got my vote, for whatever that's worth.
Please be well.
Julie
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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I've come back to this review box several times before I could write anything. I don't 'know' your pain, but I sure could feel it through your story. I was crying by the end.
The answer to all this is simply Evil. It infests our world, our nation, our families, and our minds. It has one goal: destruction.
You were not the reason for this tragedy, nor do I think you could have been the solution. I understand you feel if you'd known, you would have dragged your daughter away from those influencing her, but would that have solved the problem?
Another writer in this contest took the tack of showing how his 'what if' moment actually led to the same conclusion as his actual choice. I think there is some truth there.
Your daughter did have a way out...you offered it to her. But she declined. Problems like addiction, loneliness, insecurity, etc lead to self-sabotage. You could have removed her from the situation, but you couldn't remove her from her own damaging thought processes.
It's possible even the horrible men who led her down this path were just as victimized the same way...like how a molested child may grow up to become a pedophile. Victim becomes victimizer. This is evil in action. It destroys everything in its path. This is why the Bible says our battle is not with flesh and blood, but with the (spiritual) powers of darkness.
Changing your thinking on this won't offer some magic pill of feeling better. But you do need to stop blaming yourself. That is part of evil's plan, and will eat away at you.
Your story was powerful, heartwrenching, and you got my vote, for whatever that's worth.
Please be well.
Julie
Comment Written 31-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much for the encouraging review and big sixer, Julie. Yes, evil is running rampant everywhere. That is indeed the fight we need to win. I know that blaming myself isn't good for me and it won't change a thing. I'm working on it. I dearly appreciate the kind review and support, Julia. Have yourself a wonderful rest of your weekend and upcoming holiday.
=]
Ron
Comment from wilkswrites
Wow! This was very powerful. I didn't expect the ending at all. I am so sorry.
I can feel your anguish, anger, and frustration in your writing. Although there are a few errors, and a lot of profanity, it only enhanced the piece because it showed how disgusted with the situation you are.
On another note: Try not to hold on to this hurt, anger, etc for too long, because it will make you sick. Again, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Wow! This was very powerful. I didn't expect the ending at all. I am so sorry.
I can feel your anguish, anger, and frustration in your writing. Although there are a few errors, and a lot of profanity, it only enhanced the piece because it showed how disgusted with the situation you are.
On another note: Try not to hold on to this hurt, anger, etc for too long, because it will make you sick. Again, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for the kind review and big sixer, Wilks. She would have been 38 this year. I try as much as I can to not hold all this in but it's hard sometimes. I dearly appreciate the review and comments, WW. Have yourself a wonderful weekend and upcoming holiday and thank you again.
Ron
Comment from Wendy G
What a tragic story. You offered her everything you could and loved her unconditionally - but unfortunately she made those choices. Yes, your love gave her the freedom to do that, but it was the only thing you could reasonably do, as you couldn't force her to do otherwise. However, I believe He is a God of love, gracy, and mercy, for all of us, including your daughter, so I would encourage you to trust Him with her and for yourself. If I had a six, it would be for you, for this powerful story and excellent writing
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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What a tragic story. You offered her everything you could and loved her unconditionally - but unfortunately she made those choices. Yes, your love gave her the freedom to do that, but it was the only thing you could reasonably do, as you couldn't force her to do otherwise. However, I believe He is a God of love, gracy, and mercy, for all of us, including your daughter, so I would encourage you to trust Him with her and for yourself. If I had a six, it would be for you, for this powerful story and excellent writing
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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Thank you for the kind review, Wendy. Yes, she made her own choices but if I had stayed up there she never would have been led down that path. I would have taken her and the kids far away from that mess long before it ever came to this. I hope He's a God of mercy, that's for sure. I appreciate the big six offer and encouraging words, Wendy. Thank you again.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
I remember reading one time: From the moment you have a child, you forevermore wear your heart on the outside of your body.
Your heart has gone through the wringer here; that's for sure. But, Ron, you offered her a better choice; she made the decision not to take it.
"What if" are the two most destructive words in the English language. Their sole and exclusive purpose is to evoke pain and regret. You're punishing yourself emotionally for someone else's behavior. That's not very fair, right? And not only does it not change anything, it also doesn't help anything, either.
You have a choice to die inside or to get better. I'm hoping you don't let her addiction kill you, too.
I'm sending you so much love tonight. Xoxoxo
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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I remember reading one time: From the moment you have a child, you forevermore wear your heart on the outside of your body.
Your heart has gone through the wringer here; that's for sure. But, Ron, you offered her a better choice; she made the decision not to take it.
"What if" are the two most destructive words in the English language. Their sole and exclusive purpose is to evoke pain and regret. You're punishing yourself emotionally for someone else's behavior. That's not very fair, right? And not only does it not change anything, it also doesn't help anything, either.
You have a choice to die inside or to get better. I'm hoping you don't let her addiction kill you, too.
I'm sending you so much love tonight. Xoxoxo
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Rachelle. Yes, it sure won't change a thing, that's for sure, and yes, what ifs are very dangerous words that weigh heavy on a soul. I appreciate the kind comments, Rach. Thank you again.
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You're more than welcome, Sweet Ron. I'm glad you were able to unload this heavy burden. If you ever need to again, I hope you will not hesitate to PM me. Friendship is: I do something nice for you...and you let me. I am a vault. It would never go further than us. You matter to me. xoxox
Comment from mrsmajor
A awful story, and so very well written, I truly understand your feeling right now...
I don't know anyone that hasn't at some time said...
"If only I"
I can look back and remember my thoughts when one of my sons married a young woman I knew wasn't for him, and yet he couldn't see it.
You may not like what I'm going to say, but sometimes what we want just isn't going to happen, and it makes no sense to try and accept all the blame for what our children do.
From what you wrote, it seems you did try, and that's all anyone can do for another. I'm so sorry for the way life turned out for your daughter, and although you may not believe in what the scripture says, I do, and I really believe we will see all of our loved ones again, when God takes back control of this ugly world...I wish you all the best, live your life without the guilt you seem to have...You'll see your daughter again!
Believe that!
Warmly,
Victoria
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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A awful story, and so very well written, I truly understand your feeling right now...
I don't know anyone that hasn't at some time said...
"If only I"
I can look back and remember my thoughts when one of my sons married a young woman I knew wasn't for him, and yet he couldn't see it.
You may not like what I'm going to say, but sometimes what we want just isn't going to happen, and it makes no sense to try and accept all the blame for what our children do.
From what you wrote, it seems you did try, and that's all anyone can do for another. I'm so sorry for the way life turned out for your daughter, and although you may not believe in what the scripture says, I do, and I really believe we will see all of our loved ones again, when God takes back control of this ugly world...I wish you all the best, live your life without the guilt you seem to have...You'll see your daughter again!
Believe that!
Warmly,
Victoria
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for the kind review and big sixer, Victoria. I know I'll see her again. I only pray it's not just to watch God throw her into hell for dying on fentanyl. Something that, if I hadn't left, could have been prevented. I would never have let her fallen so far to lose her kids to bring her to such depression if I was up there. Never. If...siigghhh. Ifs won't change a thing.
Thank you again for the gracious rating and kind review, Victoria. I really appreciate it. Have yourself a wonderful night.
Ron
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You're very welcome, Ron,
It's always a pleasure to try and help another person see the light...God does not expect perfection, none of us are perfect, and so I still say, do not feel the kind of guilt that is causing you such stress...Try to live your life with peace of mind...Let God do the rest!...
Sending you a great Big, old lady's Hug!
Warmly,
Victoria
All the best to you, have a wonderful evening...
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
What if is a hard question not to ask ourselves but it is so pointless. There is no going back and changing our decisions. This was an excellent piece of writing with raw emotions. I hate addiction so much and the devastation that drugs bring to people's lives. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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What if is a hard question not to ask ourselves but it is so pointless. There is no going back and changing our decisions. This was an excellent piece of writing with raw emotions. I hate addiction so much and the devastation that drugs bring to people's lives. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you for the great review, Marilyn. Yes, there is no going back, that's for sure. Why she would even mess with that, seeing as how it was all over the news that it kills people, I will never know. What if will always cross my mind though even though you're right, it's pointless. What ifs won't change a thing. Have yourself a great night and thank you again.
Ron
Comment from Begin Again
I felt every painful emotion in your story, every tear that fell when you tried to endure the heartbreak.
Life sucks! It has its great moments, and it has its tragedies. This one was a train wreck; it was just waiting to happen. My only thought is that it's hard not to second guess yourself with the What Ifs, but you will never know if you had stayed if things would have gone differently. You hope it would have, but you can't control everyone's life.
Speaking from experience, I know you can't go back and magically change it, regardless of how much you would like to. The best I can offer is that you continue to remember the love you shared and pray for a better tomorrow.
Maybe reaching out to help someone else might help you ease a little pain. Regardless of your choices, I understand loss and pain, it doesn't ever go away. You learn to work through it a little better, one day at a time.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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I felt every painful emotion in your story, every tear that fell when you tried to endure the heartbreak.
Life sucks! It has its great moments, and it has its tragedies. This one was a train wreck; it was just waiting to happen. My only thought is that it's hard not to second guess yourself with the What Ifs, but you will never know if you had stayed if things would have gone differently. You hope it would have, but you can't control everyone's life.
Speaking from experience, I know you can't go back and magically change it, regardless of how much you would like to. The best I can offer is that you continue to remember the love you shared and pray for a better tomorrow.
Maybe reaching out to help someone else might help you ease a little pain. Regardless of your choices, I understand loss and pain, it doesn't ever go away. You learn to work through it a little better, one day at a time.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Hey, Carol, hi. Thank you for the encouraging review and big sixer. I do know if I had stayed up there I would have been more in her life and "NONE" of this would have happened. I would have taken her and the grandkids far away from that messed up situation, forcefully if I had to. And now instead of reading my grandkid's heartache on Facebook, we'd be hanging out around my pool and having a grand time. Yes, her choices were her own but I clearly would have intervened if I had known. If I wouldn't have left, I would have known. That's all I can do is try to work through that. I dearly appreciate the review, Carol. Thanks again.
=]
Ron
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You are right! You would have done yuor best to make sure things didn't end up like they did. My only thought is that even the best intentions don't always go the way we want. I know that for a fact. My heart goes out to you!
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Thank you, Carol. Have yourself a wonderful night.