His Silence
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "His Silence - Chapter Seventeen"Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?
8 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
Oliver has made a great impression on Danielle, and we leave this brilliant chapter as a cliff-hanger. Great job, Jacob! I have to admit, when they were at the gate, I was on the edge of my seat, and the silence was creepy. I loved it.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2024
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Oliver has made a great impression on Danielle, and we leave this brilliant chapter as a cliff-hanger. Great job, Jacob! I have to admit, when they were at the gate, I was on the edge of my seat, and the silence was creepy. I loved it.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 02-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2024
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Thank you Steve, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to go back and read and review.
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Always a pleasure, Jacob.
Comment from lancellot
You do a great job building up suspense. It seems you're going for a spooky, slight thriller feel, or at least, Danielle is feeling that sense of apprehension, and the reader is relating with her.
Good writing.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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You do a great job building up suspense. It seems you're going for a spooky, slight thriller feel, or at least, Danielle is feeling that sense of apprehension, and the reader is relating with her.
Good writing.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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Thank you, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have done a good job of creating a creepy atmosphere. The memory Danielle has of being pulled down the hallway adds to the creepiness. I wonder why she has so little memory of the time before she is seven. It must have something to do with the murder.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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You have done a good job of creating a creepy atmosphere. The memory Danielle has of being pulled down the hallway adds to the creepiness. I wonder why she has so little memory of the time before she is seven. It must have something to do with the murder.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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Thank you Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is spooky and I'm only reading, not there beside Danielle and Callum. That shows you're doing a great job writing this. I can't wait to read more. I do hope these two get out of there all right.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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This is spooky and I'm only reading, not there beside Danielle and Callum. That shows you're doing a great job writing this. I can't wait to read more. I do hope these two get out of there all right.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you Barbara. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it. I've written a few more new chapters of The Fix, so I should be posting them soon.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is all very evocatively described. Loved "cool air seasoned with sea salt " and the mention of the seagulls too to remind us of how close we are to the sea. Then the rather daunting approach to the house and Danielle's anxieties add to the build up of suspense. Just 2 suggestions:
and someone else (is) ahead of me, wearing dark clothing..
appears in the doorway (through which Jeremiah just left).
A fascinating hook with which to end! Well done, Jacob! Debbie
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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This is all very evocatively described. Loved "cool air seasoned with sea salt " and the mention of the seagulls too to remind us of how close we are to the sea. Then the rather daunting approach to the house and Danielle's anxieties add to the build up of suspense. Just 2 suggestions:
and someone else (is) ahead of me, wearing dark clothing..
appears in the doorway (through which Jeremiah just left).
A fascinating hook with which to end! Well done, Jacob! Debbie
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you Debbie, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Begin Again
kind of eerie, like a haunted house. I assume it might be a cult with Jeremiah the one who drives the car and goes out into the world. Maybe something like the Amish. And the charming Oliver must be the one in control.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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kind of eerie, like a haunted house. I assume it might be a cult with Jeremiah the one who drives the car and goes out into the world. Maybe something like the Amish. And the charming Oliver must be the one in control.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hmmmm, interesting place, this compound. I like the way you have Danielle's memories sneak out a bit at a time. It seems her parents wanted her out of the place and that they had to sneak out. They don't want phones and have no electronics. Was also true in my Concorde Valley, lol, but I have a feeling this place hold secrets that might not be too good for our protagonist.
Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Hmmmm, interesting place, this compound. I like the way you have Danielle's memories sneak out a bit at a time. It seems her parents wanted her out of the place and that they had to sneak out. They don't want phones and have no electronics. Was also true in my Concorde Valley, lol, but I have a feeling this place hold secrets that might not be too good for our protagonist.
Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you Rhonda, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
This is intriguing. What a strange place. It seems to be some kind of cult like place. I know there are cults that don't watch television or use phones. Apparently there is only one car and Jeremiah is the maybe the only one who go out. You story is very interesting.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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This is intriguing. What a strange place. It seems to be some kind of cult like place. I know there are cults that don't watch television or use phones. Apparently there is only one car and Jeremiah is the maybe the only one who go out. You story is very interesting.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.