His Silence
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "His Silence - Chapter Fifteen"Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?
8 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
I've seen the same look on my dad's face when mom's telling a story, lol. This is a great addition to the book. It will be interesting to see what they have to say.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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I've seen the same look on my dad's face when mom's telling a story, lol. This is a great addition to the book. It will be interesting to see what they have to say.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Thank you, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Yes, she couldn't risk telling her parents the truth in case they tried to stop her. She's going through enough as it is and has to pace herself, hence her decision not to meet Callum. This is all going very credibly, Jacob, with good pace and interest. It remains very much a mystery as to what she might learn tomorrow. Well done on another excellent chapter! Debbie
helter-skelt(e)r
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Yes, she couldn't risk telling her parents the truth in case they tried to stop her. She's going through enough as it is and has to pace herself, hence her decision not to meet Callum. This is all going very credibly, Jacob, with good pace and interest. It remains very much a mystery as to what she might learn tomorrow. Well done on another excellent chapter! Debbie
helter-skelt(e)r
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Thank you Debbie, and for spotting that error. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
It looks like the trip is on so hopeful you next post will bring out more information about what may have gone on that was serious that Callum felt he had to kill. Her parents are easy going in seems. It would seem they would be more protective but she an adult.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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It looks like the trip is on so hopeful you next post will bring out more information about what may have gone on that was serious that Callum felt he had to kill. Her parents are easy going in seems. It would seem they would be more protective but she an adult.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Thank you Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Sounds like in spite of mindful preparation, Danielle is going to have a hard time sleeping anyway. Answers to long-term questions sometimes keep people up more than one night, as she is thinking of this:
This time tomorrow I'll be with the people I knew for the first six years of my life; the people who knew my family best.
The first sentence could use just a bit of tweaking:
After Callum left this afternoon I wanted to text Jerimiah to let him know we're coming tomorrow, but decided against it.
I would try:
After Callum left this afternoon, I wanted to text Jeremiah to let him know we were coming tomorrow, but I decided against it.
Also there is a verb tense that doesn't agree with the subject:
Mum's chatting to Dad now about some woman she was speaking to at the nail salon earlier, but only parts of their conversation filters through.
I would just change it to 'part of their conversation' and then keep 'filters' as is. The actual antecedent to filters is part. If you keep it as 'parts' then it would be 'filter.'
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Sounds like in spite of mindful preparation, Danielle is going to have a hard time sleeping anyway. Answers to long-term questions sometimes keep people up more than one night, as she is thinking of this:
This time tomorrow I'll be with the people I knew for the first six years of my life; the people who knew my family best.
The first sentence could use just a bit of tweaking:
After Callum left this afternoon I wanted to text Jerimiah to let him know we're coming tomorrow, but decided against it.
I would try:
After Callum left this afternoon, I wanted to text Jeremiah to let him know we were coming tomorrow, but I decided against it.
Also there is a verb tense that doesn't agree with the subject:
Mum's chatting to Dad now about some woman she was speaking to at the nail salon earlier, but only parts of their conversation filters through.
I would just change it to 'part of their conversation' and then keep 'filters' as is. The actual antecedent to filters is part. If you keep it as 'parts' then it would be 'filter.'
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your suggestions and reviewing as well. I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Danielle's family seem to be pushing her into spending the weekend with Callum. Callum's Mom seems to be all for it also. It sounds as if the families want them to be more than friends. I can understand why Danielle is certain she can't sleep that night, especially as she doesn't seem to remember anything about the place she is going even though she was there for six years.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Danielle's family seem to be pushing her into spending the weekend with Callum. Callum's Mom seems to be all for it also. It sounds as if the families want them to be more than friends. I can understand why Danielle is certain she can't sleep that night, especially as she doesn't seem to remember anything about the place she is going even though she was there for six years.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Thank you, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Begin Again
Danielle's life and Callum's are so different when it comes to relating to their parents and she's going to be a "wreck" by morning. I hope she gets some answers but then I wonder how they might be totally different from what she might expect. Great job, Jacob!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Danielle's life and Callum's are so different when it comes to relating to their parents and she's going to be a "wreck" by morning. I hope she gets some answers but then I wonder how they might be totally different from what she might expect. Great job, Jacob!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Thank you Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your writing beautifully shares the anxiety of making a decision about a trip. I like how you show the hesitation and inner turmoil through dialogue. I could feel the weight of each choice and the significance of what's to come. Excellent work!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
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Your writing beautifully shares the anxiety of making a decision about a trip. I like how you show the hesitation and inner turmoil through dialogue. I could feel the weight of each choice and the significance of what's to come. Excellent work!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
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Thank you Michael, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I wouldn't be able to sleep either. I sure hope Danielle gets the answers she hopes for. My mind has all sorts of ideas of what she'll find. I can't wait to see if any of them are right. This is another good write.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
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I wouldn't be able to sleep either. I sure hope Danielle gets the answers she hopes for. My mind has all sorts of ideas of what she'll find. I can't wait to see if any of them are right. This is another good write.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
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Thank you Barbara, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.