Father Weeps
God calls his children home5 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
Excellent writing that is so true to life. Humans do worship the golden calf instead of taking care of what is most important, the earth, each other and our animals. I have been away for awhile due to a busy summer and am glad to return.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2024
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Excellent writing that is so true to life. Humans do worship the golden calf instead of taking care of what is most important, the earth, each other and our animals. I have been away for awhile due to a busy summer and am glad to return.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2024
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Hello Elaine, Many thanks for reading. Glad you are back on FS. K XX
Comment from Wendy G
This is a lovely Loop poem, but a sad one. All the distress you express is very real for many countries and peoples around the whole world. And no, man won't learn. mankind is too proud and arrogant.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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This is a lovely Loop poem, but a sad one. All the distress you express is very real for many countries and peoples around the whole world. And no, man won't learn. mankind is too proud and arrogant.
Wendy
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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Hello Wendy, Thanks for reading. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Glad you enjoyed. I just took second place for Do Not enter. Blessings, Kay. (very cold and windy here.)
Comment from lyenochka
Such a sad story in your poem! (By the way, the club prompts are for prose - very short stories). I like how you show God's heart as the Earth, His beautiful creation is being destroyed. I just read Roy's end time poem and now I'm really sad.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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Such a sad story in your poem! (By the way, the club prompts are for prose - very short stories). I like how you show God's heart as the Earth, His beautiful creation is being destroyed. I just read Roy's end time poem and now I'm really sad.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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Hi Lena, I didn't know they were for stories. Don't be sad, we have to go through the dark times to reach the Light of Christ. love, Kay xx
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💖 Thanks for the reassuring words, K!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A lovely example, Kay, of one of your favourite verse forms, the loop poem. Your theme of Father Weeps is, inevitably, a poignant one and the repetition of words gives the verse a strength and resonance, fitting for the outcome you visualise here. Thank you for sharing your evocative talent, Kay, and my very best wishes to you! Take care Debbie xx
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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A lovely example, Kay, of one of your favourite verse forms, the loop poem. Your theme of Father Weeps is, inevitably, a poignant one and the repetition of words gives the verse a strength and resonance, fitting for the outcome you visualise here. Thank you for sharing your evocative talent, Kay, and my very best wishes to you! Take care Debbie xx
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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Hello Debbie, Thank you for reading. I just won second place for Do Not Enter. Yippee! Hope you are well? Very cold and windy here. Love, Kay xx
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, I see. I hope you are well
I agree it's always the Innocents Who suffer and war, famine, pestilence
I couldn't tell for sure if this was a poem or a story
You had many lines on your story that read like poetry and had perfect meter but no rhyming of course
Your first few lines are examples. Do you see that each of those lines is eight syllables with alternating syllables of hard sounds and soft sounds Each line is composed of SHSHSHSH Where S is a soft sound often called feminine and H is a hard sound often called masculine
It's the way I write my poetry!! Exactly. That's why when I read it. It sounds like a poem rather than a story.
"God has called his children home
Home to shine above his throne
Throne of light away from death"
Also, the repetition of the last word of one line followed by that being the first word in the next line also is poetic. I believe this is poetry, whether you meant it to be or not.
I enjoyed reading your poem/story
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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Hi, I see. I hope you are well
I agree it's always the Innocents Who suffer and war, famine, pestilence
I couldn't tell for sure if this was a poem or a story
You had many lines on your story that read like poetry and had perfect meter but no rhyming of course
Your first few lines are examples. Do you see that each of those lines is eight syllables with alternating syllables of hard sounds and soft sounds Each line is composed of SHSHSHSH Where S is a soft sound often called feminine and H is a hard sound often called masculine
It's the way I write my poetry!! Exactly. That's why when I read it. It sounds like a poem rather than a story.
"God has called his children home
Home to shine above his throne
Throne of light away from death"
Also, the repetition of the last word of one line followed by that being the first word in the next line also is poetic. I believe this is poetry, whether you meant it to be or not.
I enjoyed reading your poem/story
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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Hello, Friend. I was picked up on this by someone else. I didn't know it had to be a story. Thanks for explaining male and female sounds. K xx