Comment from jim vecchio

Excellent

Another great installment of your adventure! The dynamics between the characters are plying out well. Derek's feelings for Taya are emerging. One small hiccup, hardly worth mentioning: third paragraph: "endanger" should either be "endangered" or "in danger".

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2024

Thank you!

reply by jim vecchio on 02-Jul-2024

You're very welcome.

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Well written. Error-free as near as I can tell.
In the marine Corps we trained with rubber knives and padded pugil sticks. It wouldn't do to halve your fighting force in training.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2024

Oh that's interesting! I've never met a marine but I have watched a lot of NCIS. Does the media do you justice?

reply by Wayne Fowler on 02-Jul-2024

I think NCIS is Navy.
The media leaves me alone.

reply by Anonymous Member on 02-Jul-2024

I think NCIS is Navy.
The media leaves me alone.

reply by the author on 02-Jul-2024

Lol is that good or bad?

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

Great job! The way you weave together their inner struggles and past traumas is so well done. The scene's tension is well written - I was very much engaged and eager to uncover more about Arrs and its inhabitants. Keep up the excellent work - I'm looking forward to reading more of your story!

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2024

Thank you!