Living On The Edge
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Living On The Edge - Chap 5"The blending of good and evil.
19 total reviews
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. You have a way of braiding the components together, which makes your story flow nicely.I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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This is another excellent chapter. You have a way of braiding the components together, which makes your story flow nicely.I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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I see you are on a reading spree. Can't believe you have read so many chapters today. I went away and wow!!!
Thank you so much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, this is just such a great continuation to the story.. it's well written and moves at a wonderful.pace. now, the game is on. I can't wait to see what will happen. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Hi Carol, this is just such a great continuation to the story.. it's well written and moves at a wonderful.pace. now, the game is on. I can't wait to see what will happen. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Thanks Ulla. I really appreciate the fact that you are enjoying my efforts. Everyone is so talented and I am always afraid they'll find my efforts lacking. A bit of insecurity with my return. Thank you again.
Smiles, Carol
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You have no reason for that. Trust me. Xxx
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, Tommy is in on Sandra's murder, and he's just put a hit out on her! I'm thinking Tommy is responsible for Sandra's death. Now Allie has told Tommy all she knows, she truly is dead! She needs Tory, but he's fighting for his life, and she believed he'd killed and raped her friend. What a mess! You are so good at these murders mysteries, my friend. I'm off to read one more. xxx
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Oh, Tommy is in on Sandra's murder, and he's just put a hit out on her! I'm thinking Tommy is responsible for Sandra's death. Now Allie has told Tommy all she knows, she truly is dead! She needs Tory, but he's fighting for his life, and she believed he'd killed and raped her friend. What a mess! You are so good at these murders mysteries, my friend. I'm off to read one more. xxx
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Hurrah! You've figured it out...or at least a sliver of the pie. It gets much more interesting and detailed. thank you for spending so much time today, reading my stories.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Her friend Sandra's former partner is playing on the wrong team. Since he told the killer that Alyssa recognized him, Alyssa doesn't know Tommy, who is now her partner, has basically ordered her execution. I want to see how you will solve this one. Again you ended on a great cliffhanger and you have written a can't put down story.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Her friend Sandra's former partner is playing on the wrong team. Since he told the killer that Alyssa recognized him, Alyssa doesn't know Tommy, who is now her partner, has basically ordered her execution. I want to see how you will solve this one. Again you ended on a great cliffhanger and you have written a can't put down story.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much Carol. I think you will like what I've done or I at least hope you do. Everything is getting blurred together writing this so fast. I see why people said they couldn't do it. It's not the writing, it's the getting the entire story completed in thirty days. Ugh! Onward we go!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Oh-oh. I wonder if the man's voice was Tommy. It's dangerous that Alyssa shares all her information with her partner. She doesn't know that the people who seem to be on her side could be just the opposite.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Oh-oh. I wonder if the man's voice was Tommy. It's dangerous that Alyssa shares all her information with her partner. She doesn't know that the people who seem to be on her side could be just the opposite.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Bravo! I wonder??? You are the first person to connect to Tommy. I am giving you the super sleuth badge.... Sssshh! Now to figure out who works for who and what are they doing....
Smiles, Carol
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Yay! I thought you gave us enough clues. 💖🙏😊
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, the mole is her partner? What a jerk. I wonder if he is the head of the organization. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings. This is a n amazing book, I wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Wow, the mole is her partner? What a jerk. I wonder if he is the head of the organization. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings. This is a n amazing book, I wish I had a six.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Thanks Iza...I hope you back and try to read the beginning so that you know who is who and what's going on. It's like a game of clue. Thanks so much
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
OMG! No one can be trusted. Your imagination and brain just doesn't take a break. Every character we've met so far, has a personal, evil motive, except for Penny and Ron. I hope it wasn't Tommy on the phone with Antonio, telling him to do what he has to do. We'll see.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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OMG! No one can be trusted. Your imagination and brain just doesn't take a break. Every character we've met so far, has a personal, evil motive, except for Penny and Ron. I hope it wasn't Tommy on the phone with Antonio, telling him to do what he has to do. We'll see.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Yup, it's a cruel world out there and we have no idea who to trust. Sort of don't judge a book by its cover! Thanks for checking back in, Lorraine. Have a great night!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from prettybluebirds
Now, you have ramped the suspense up even more. I have to have faith in your storytelling abilities to bring the characters home safely. One more chapter, and I will catch up again. I'm still having trouble with this respiratory thing, but I will keep reading.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Now, you have ramped the suspense up even more. I have to have faith in your storytelling abilities to bring the characters home safely. One more chapter, and I will catch up again. I'm still having trouble with this respiratory thing, but I will keep reading.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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I hope I have you on the edge of your seat...the next few chapters should be very interesting.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Julie Helms
Oh, boy, the twist and turns in this thing. You're doing a great job of unexpected good guys versus bad guys!
Are you alright, miss (cap Miss. it's being used in place of a name.)
1.By the time they neared her destination, she wanted to walk.She paid the driver ...
2.She handed him the fare and opened the door.
(I think you have a timeline issue here. Number one happens and then a bunch of paragraphs go by and then number two happens. It feels like she paid him and then the ride continued and then she paid him again.)
whole case got swept under the rug and I plan on finding out why." (rug, and I)
listen to her partner carry-on (carry on)
Off to the next chapter! I'm loving it. Julie. :-)
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Oh, boy, the twist and turns in this thing. You're doing a great job of unexpected good guys versus bad guys!
Are you alright, miss (cap Miss. it's being used in place of a name.)
1.By the time they neared her destination, she wanted to walk.She paid the driver ...
2.She handed him the fare and opened the door.
(I think you have a timeline issue here. Number one happens and then a bunch of paragraphs go by and then number two happens. It feels like she paid him and then the ride continued and then she paid him again.)
whole case got swept under the rug and I plan on finding out why." (rug, and I)
listen to her partner carry-on (carry on)
Off to the next chapter! I'm loving it. Julie. :-)
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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I always trust your judgement, but I think I'm blind here. I don't see her paying the cabbie twice....Help me! the other suggestions are fixed. Thank you!
"Sir, I'd like to get out here, please?" Alyssa slid across the seat, closer to the door.
"Are you sure? I'll be happy to drop you at your door. It's only a few blocks."
"Thank you, but I think I need to walk."
"Walk? The way you were running when I picked you up." He couldn't help but question her thoughts. "Must be some marathon you're training for."
She smiled and answered, "It is."
The cabbie edged his vehicle out of traffic and pulled next to the curb. She handed him the fare and opened the door.
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By the time they neared her destination, she wanted to walk. ((((She paid the driver)))) and offered her apologies, "I'm sorry if I caused you concern. I'm practicing for a marathon and pushed a bit too hard today. Lost my breath. Thank heavens, I was able to flag you down. Thank you again."
He smiled, but Alyssa doubted he believed her.
She regretted her lie, but how else could she explain how she'd reacted? The man's face, especially his eyes, had set off major alarms. She didn't remember why at that moment, but something triggered her instinct to run.
In the taxi, she began to unwind. She tried to remember where or when she'd seen those piercing eyes. And why did they have such an impact on her? Her insecurities made her question her ability to be a cop. It happened so fast, rising from a newbie to an undercover cop so quickly. Her life had changed so dramatically since losing her friend, especially since Troy Sinclair's release, that she'd focused on his guilt and not much else.
"You doing better, miss?" Her eyes met his compassionate ones in the mirror. How could he have known that she needed someone to care, even if it was a stranger? She missed her family, especially her sister, Layla. Tomorrow was her birthday. She made a mental note to set aside enough time to call and catch up. Alyssa kept her life a secret and that was a difficult practice when she wanted to share everything with Layla.
Thoughts of her family reminded her of home. As a young girl, she'd always roamed the fields along the riverbank, skipping stones across the water, and breathing in the clean, fresh air. It's how she cleared her head. Breathing in and breathing out.
"Sir, I'd like to get out here, please?" Alyssa slid across the seat, closer to the door.
"Are you sure? I'll be happy to drop you at your door. It's only a few blocks."
"Thank you, but I think I need to walk."
"Walk? The way you were running when I picked you up." He couldn't help but question her thoughts. "Must be some marathon you're training for."
She smiled and answered, "It is."
The cabbie edged his vehicle out of traffic and pulled next to the curb. She handed him the fare and opened the door.
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Great eye....I forgot I added those other paragraphs in and forgot to delete the other sentence. Good eye and I thank you.
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You are very welcome! :)
Comment from royowen
Things are hotting, these episodes are quite long, Allyssa is struggling as a cop and as an undercover cop, she's a bit scared, like she's hearing footsteps, who did she see that she's seen before, hope she coos, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Things are hotting, these episodes are quite long, Allyssa is struggling as a cop and as an undercover cop, she's a bit scared, like she's hearing footsteps, who did she see that she's seen before, hope she coos, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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In the next chapter I posted and hopefully the remaining ones, I've tried to shorten them. I appreciate your time and the review. I hope you will continue to follow. Thank you.
Smiles, Carol
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Of course
