Living On The Edge
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Living On The Edge - Chap 4"The blending of good and evil.
20 total reviews
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. You are moving the story along nicely. I look forward to the next chapter I do not see any need for improvement.Have a bless day.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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This is another excellent chapter. You are moving the story along nicely. I look forward to the next chapter I do not see any need for improvement.Have a bless day.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much for continuing to read the story. It's been moving along quite well and I am happy with the results so far. I appreciate your time and review.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
At least we know it's not Troy. So if this is the person she thinks murdered Sandra, (is that me?? Am I dead already??? LOL) Then she has every right to be scared. But I haven't read anything about there being a body that was Sandra, so it's possible she's being hidden somewhere. Now tell me Sandra's body WAS mentioned earier. Lol. Well done, my friend. I'm off to read another chapter. :)) Sandra. (the alive one!Lol) xxx
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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At least we know it's not Troy. So if this is the person she thinks murdered Sandra, (is that me?? Am I dead already??? LOL) Then she has every right to be scared. But I haven't read anything about there being a body that was Sandra, so it's possible she's being hidden somewhere. Now tell me Sandra's body WAS mentioned earier. Lol. Well done, my friend. I'm off to read another chapter. :)) Sandra. (the alive one!Lol) xxx
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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No way is that you...though after I went back to reread it struck me that you might think I knocked you off...Believe me, I wouldn't!!! I never directly said there was a body because her death happened four years before the story starts..Troy was accused and sent to prison.
I love you and thanks for making me laugh... So appreciated it! Hugs, Carol
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, the plot is thickening, and I really liked the pace of this chapter. You're also leaving us on a great cliffhanger.
Just a minor thing. There's no such thing as the Spanish Riviera. That is for Italy and France only. Here it the Spanish Costas. Lol. Now onto the next chapter. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Hi Carol, the plot is thickening, and I really liked the pace of this chapter. You're also leaving us on a great cliffhanger.
Just a minor thing. There's no such thing as the Spanish Riviera. That is for Italy and France only. Here it the Spanish Costas. Lol. Now onto the next chapter. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Thank you Ulla. I'm going to take your word for it, but when I googled the Spanish coast it came up as Spanish Riviera. Oh, well, the book is fiction so I can send her wherever I want. LOL I appreciate you pointing it out though.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is really good. We know and his friends know Troy could not have run into Allie and terrified her because she thought she recognized something. The person she ran into may be similar to Troy or have some similar marking? Good cliffhanger to end on.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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This is really good. We know and his friends know Troy could not have run into Allie and terrified her because she thought she recognized something. The person she ran into may be similar to Troy or have some similar marking? Good cliffhanger to end on.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Oh I almost gave it away to you...forgot you weren't in the next chapter, Oops! I've got to be more careful...Don't want to spoil anything. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, poor Allie hunted by her friend memories and killer and all her police training its kind of wasted. No help in the department, I guess is not easy to be a lady cop.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Wow, poor Allie hunted by her friend memories and killer and all her police training its kind of wasted. No help in the department, I guess is not easy to be a lady cop.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Hey, IZA...You found another chapter. Hurrah! Especially when pat of the department just might be corrupt.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Well, you really stirred up the plot with the characters having all kinds of misunderstandings about others. I guess Alyssa was too quick to judge Troy. But we don't know if Troy was the one who gave the letter. And it seems odd that the people who should be "good" guys are evil like the chief. And the bad guys like Frank Divito seems to be a good guy. Great job with this chapter!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Well, you really stirred up the plot with the characters having all kinds of misunderstandings about others. I guess Alyssa was too quick to judge Troy. But we don't know if Troy was the one who gave the letter. And it seems odd that the people who should be "good" guys are evil like the chief. And the bad guys like Frank Divito seems to be a good guy. Great job with this chapter!
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Oh, Helen, hold on to that buggy because the roads going to get a lot rockier. LOL Thanks so much...it's like ,mixing the pot and seeing who rises to the top. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Did you say you were traveling soon?
Smiles, Carol
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Yes, I have to see my mom this month so I'll be offsite for that time period. 💖 Somehow this has been such a busy posting week, I won't be able to get to Sunday's postings.
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Not a problem...whenever you can! I have to go to N.C. too so it's going to be a tough one to finish the contest. Seeing your mom should be good...I miss mine more than words can say.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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💖💖
Comment from prettybluebirds
You left out the word (you) in the sentence. Why do (you) think he changed his name? Other than that, it is perfect, as usual. This is a fast-paced and exciting story.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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You left out the word (you) in the sentence. Why do (you) think he changed his name? Other than that, it is perfect, as usual. This is a fast-paced and exciting story.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Thank you, April. I fixed the you thanks to you! I appreciate the review.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
Another riveting chapter. I'm enjoying the way you slowly develop and reveal your characters. While Troy is in the hills recuperating from a gunshot wound, we see Alyssa making herself sick over thoughts of a man she has never met, while Frank has his team investigating Troy's shooting. The real bad guy is Troy's brother, the Chief of Police. You have a lot going on, with the possibilities of many twists and turns.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Another riveting chapter. I'm enjoying the way you slowly develop and reveal your characters. While Troy is in the hills recuperating from a gunshot wound, we see Alyssa making herself sick over thoughts of a man she has never met, while Frank has his team investigating Troy's shooting. The real bad guy is Troy's brother, the Chief of Police. You have a lot going on, with the possibilities of many twists and turns.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
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Like feeding a fish line in fly fishing...bit by bit till you hook'em. LOL Sorry I just read someone's story about fishing and it stuck in my head. Thank you so much as always, Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Your dialogue is always spot on and I don't have to deal with all those he said, she said, speech tags. Dialogue is the one thing that kills most stories for me, including my own. I just wish I had a few days learning to use beats rather than tags, you do it so well. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
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Your dialogue is always spot on and I don't have to deal with all those he said, she said, speech tags. Dialogue is the one thing that kills most stories for me, including my own. I just wish I had a few days learning to use beats rather than tags, you do it so well. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
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Thank you.... I still use those tags but I hate it, but Bob Masters (a well-known writer who has passed) once lectured me on the he said she said tags...he was a big fan at the beginning of each dialogue segment. Part of it stuck and I seem too skittish to not follow his suggestions. LOL
So I try to shake, mix and stir like a delicious cocktail.
Smiles, Carol
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You do it so well, my dear!
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Thank you but I think it's your boyish charm to flatter the ladies. My response...please continue.
Smiles, Carol
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LOL. Nope, I'm just an old boy who speaks his mind. Never been much of a charmer. But if I could learn to write dialogue like you I could. I'd appreciate anyway to learn. Does Bob Masters have any books on dialogue? I love the way you use those beats, another word or term I just learned, rather than tags.
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Beats like dancing to the music...when angry it's a wild swaying of the hips to the native's drum... when happy it's the tinkling of piano chords ... when mellow it must be the strumming of a guitar... and in love can only be the deep, jazzy sound of the saxophone LOL
That's probably not the type of beats you were referring to, right?
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LOL. No, I was referring to those short lines that take the place of tags. :-) But you knew that.
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Yes... I think I am losing my mind. One reviewer said I had given the reader a lot of characters to keep track of and I replied....
They come and go...Troy came and exited stage right to a hospital. Alyssa came and appears about to be shot....
Sandra never even made it on stage. Killed before her debut. LOL Excuse my levity. Writing must be making my head spin. Thank you so much for your kindness.
(I might need a drink) LOL
Comment from Terry Broxson
Okay, we meet Jake and find out he is a cop who was Troy and Frank's friend when they were kids. At least, that's how I read it. At this point, I feel like I need some detail on Sandra's murder. What was that all about? You got a lot of stuff cooking in the pot. Well done. Terry.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
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Okay, we meet Jake and find out he is a cop who was Troy and Frank's friend when they were kids. At least, that's how I read it. At this point, I feel like I need some detail on Sandra's murder. What was that all about? You got a lot of stuff cooking in the pot. Well done. Terry.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
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Good day, Terry....
It's about to unfold in the next chapter. Got to keep you wondering.... And yes, Jake, Troy, and Frank were friends when life was rough. Along with two other guys, they made a pact to always have each others back. Some remembered and others preferred to forget.
Thanks so much! Have a great day.
Smiles, Carol
