Going Under
A child undergoes a minor procedure and fears death.43 total reviews
Comment from patricia dillon
I had similar fears when I was a child. I always hated been "put under" at the dentist's. What an unlucky accident! I am glad the doctor was nearby. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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I had similar fears when I was a child. I always hated been "put under" at the dentist's. What an unlucky accident! I am glad the doctor was nearby. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Patricia. I appareciate the nice review and comments. I never had a dentist put me under. I sure that would have freaked me out as well.
Beth
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You're welcome
Comment from Ricky1024
From extreme fear to victory!
This was well written rich in Theme and imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
Good luck with your contest entry and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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From extreme fear to victory!
This was well written rich in Theme and imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
Good luck with your contest entry and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Thank you Ricky. I appreciate you review and comments.
Beth
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This was a really good piece. you did a great job of delivering this from the younger point of view. It's well told and nicely paced.
I'd heard Mom and Dad talk about people that never came out from under the ether. - I'd opt for who rather than that when referring to people.
What could happen, if he put me under filled me with horror.- probably could do with an additional comma after under.
"She's fighting it. She should have gone out by now. Try giving her a little more. - need closing speech marks here.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Hi there,
This was a really good piece. you did a great job of delivering this from the younger point of view. It's well told and nicely paced.
I'd heard Mom and Dad talk about people that never came out from under the ether. - I'd opt for who rather than that when referring to people.
What could happen, if he put me under filled me with horror.- probably could do with an additional comma after under.
"She's fighting it. She should have gone out by now. Try giving her a little more. - need closing speech marks here.
All the best
G
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Thank you for a great review. I'm glad you noticed a few things I missed and pointed them out. I always appreciate help with the editing.
Beth
Comment from Gloria ....
This is a terrific true story told in just the right voice. I am still cringing about the splinter up the cuticle. My land that is a bad one.
So very well told, and one small typo in the subtitle:
A child undergoes a minor porceedure (procedure) and fears death.
Thanks for sharing.
Gloria
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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This is a terrific true story told in just the right voice. I am still cringing about the splinter up the cuticle. My land that is a bad one.
So very well told, and one small typo in the subtitle:
A child undergoes a minor porceedure (procedure) and fears death.
Thanks for sharing.
Gloria
Comment Written 04-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you Gloria. Getting a splinter under your fingernail is very painful, but I think the fear outweighed the pain. LOL
Beth
Comment from Wendy G
Great story! And very well written. Yes, a child has thoughts and perceptions about words adults use, and draw different conclusions. That same thing happened to my daughter. Best wishes for your entry!
Wendy
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Great story! And very well written. Yes, a child has thoughts and perceptions about words adults use, and draw different conclusions. That same thing happened to my daughter. Best wishes for your entry!
Wendy
Comment Written 04-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much Wendy. I really appreciate the great review and comments,
Beth
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Those gas masks were horrible, weren't they? This was a wonderful story, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I can just imagine your fear, especially the words to put you out. I know that getting a small splinter can hurt like hell, so what that one of yours was like, goodness knows! Well done, my friend, and good luck in the contest. Off to the voting page now! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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Those gas masks were horrible, weren't they? This was a wonderful story, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I can just imagine your fear, especially the words to put you out. I know that getting a small splinter can hurt like hell, so what that one of yours was like, goodness knows! Well done, my friend, and good luck in the contest. Off to the voting page now! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 04-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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Thank you Sandra, I really appreciate the review and comments. I was pretty freaked out by the idea, and the fear was worse than the pain. LOL
Beth
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You are very welcome, I thought it was a great story, one many can relate to. You got my vote. xxx
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Thank you!! :-)
Comment from leather
This was an excellent and well-presented entry. It is a delight to read something well-crafted--I feel it deserves six stars. I had to chuckle when you realized that you had escaped death.
Great work.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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This was an excellent and well-presented entry. It is a delight to read something well-crafted--I feel it deserves six stars. I had to chuckle when you realized that you had escaped death.
Great work.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for the excellent review I pleased that you feel it deserves six stars and I'm so glad you got a chuckle.
Beth
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You're welcome.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Beth, this was a delightful and truly well-told story because you told it through the eyes of a six-year-old's fear. You captured the child's thoughts and fear and set the scene with great descriptions.
So well done.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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Beth, this was a delightful and truly well-told story because you told it through the eyes of a six-year-old's fear. You captured the child's thoughts and fear and set the scene with great descriptions.
So well done.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 04-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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Thank you Mary. I told it the way I remembered it. I so glad you enjoyed my story.
Beth
Comment from Bill Schott
That was quite a show for a splinter. I can't imagine the horror if the use of ether went south, and you ended up with brain damaged or dead -- over a splinter.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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That was quite a show for a splinter. I can't imagine the horror if the use of ether went south, and you ended up with brain damaged or dead -- over a splinter.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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Thank you BIll. The ether was later deemed not safe and likely the nurse wasn't trained in how to use it, so I think maybe I had a reason to be concerned.
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
This sounds very authentic. Children imagine all sorts of nightmarish outcomes! You certainly succeed in capturing the child's thoughts or rather remembering them!
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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This sounds very authentic. Children imagine all sorts of nightmarish outcomes! You certainly succeed in capturing the child's thoughts or rather remembering them!
Comment Written 04-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the review and comments. I remember in very vividly. I guess the fact it was so tramatic has made it hard to forget.
Beth
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That's what I thought!