Life Through Perception
How I was saved: A poet's paradise9 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, Life Through Perception, brings the eloquence of the poet into this dreamlike encounter with oneself. being a noticer, the poet can contemplate the universe through a blade of grass.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
  |
This story, Life Through Perception, brings the eloquence of the poet into this dreamlike encounter with oneself. being a noticer, the poet can contemplate the universe through a blade of grass.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
-
Thanks so much, Bill :-). I sailed as close to poetry as I dare for this piece, since it was about poetry itself, and finding one's connection to expression. Really happy you liked it.
Mike
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Indeed a poet. With a few exceptions, nearly every sentence wanted to be in a poem.
somebody threw a blanket over life's sound system, - I like the imagery, but didn't understand its place in the piece. Were you about to pass out? Did you enter another dimension? Transfixed?
upon a breeze upon the air - This phrase didn't work for me. Sorry.
I enjoyed the read. Good work.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
|
Indeed a poet. With a few exceptions, nearly every sentence wanted to be in a poem.
somebody threw a blanket over life's sound system, - I like the imagery, but didn't understand its place in the piece. Were you about to pass out? Did you enter another dimension? Transfixed?
upon a breeze upon the air - This phrase didn't work for me. Sorry.
I enjoyed the read. Good work.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
-
Thank you, Wayne - for this review and for the tour you've taken through my profile today. This was a contest entry until today, so I had the frustration of it being blind and not being able to chat freely. I had great fun writing this one! The blanket over life's sound system was meant to shoe absolutely focus, how sound tends to drop away when we're concentrating - especially after a few drinks! It may have been a bit heavy-handed, mind you :-)
Mike
-
Don't know how it came to be, gettin' three strikes on you. (except that one was blind)
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
A very good use of metaphors or similes throughout the article but especially in paragraph #three. It makes the entire article so colorful.
A couple of obseervations:
Para 7, 1st sentence: (self subsumed) doesn't seem like the word that should be used here. But if used, it should be hyphenated (self-subsumed)
Para 8, 1st sentence: (three hundred and sixty degree) should be hyphenated (three-hundred-and-sixty-degree)
I certainly didn't see that coming, inside the marble, but I like it. I probably would have given this one a six-star rating, had I any left, just for the creative use of the English language.
Great tell.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
|
A very good use of metaphors or similes throughout the article but especially in paragraph #three. It makes the entire article so colorful.
A couple of obseervations:
Para 7, 1st sentence: (self subsumed) doesn't seem like the word that should be used here. But if used, it should be hyphenated (self-subsumed)
Para 8, 1st sentence: (three hundred and sixty degree) should be hyphenated (three-hundred-and-sixty-degree)
I certainly didn't see that coming, inside the marble, but I like it. I probably would have given this one a six-star rating, had I any left, just for the creative use of the English language.
Great tell.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
-
Thanks so much, Gary :-). I spent a while looking up variations of subsumed and settled on using it (admittedly slightly creatively). Point taken on the hyphens. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it!
Comment from Wendy G
I enjoyed your story a lot. It was imaginative, different and creative. Well written and original. You have my vote because of all these, as well as the lyrical language.
Wendy
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
|
I enjoyed your story a lot. It was imaginative, different and creative. Well written and original. You have my vote because of all these, as well as the lyrical language.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
-
Thank you, Wendy :-). I think it was a tad overwritten for some, but that was kind of the point. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it.
-
It was better than the others though, and at least showed some originality!
W
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Found It writing prompt contest.
I enjoyed reading your story. It moved along nicely and the plot was easy to understand and follow. Good character development.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
|
Excellent entry for the Found It writing prompt contest.
I enjoyed reading your story. It moved along nicely and the plot was easy to understand and follow. Good character development.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
-
Thank you, Gypsy - I'm really glad you liked it :-)
Comment from royowen
I don't think I ever found poetry, I think it was the other way around, it cam by way of songwriting, and successful recording, but then with Covid, poetry took off, but I've learned a lot.since, I love the way you came to the crunch line, it almost became obvious, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
|
I don't think I ever found poetry, I think it was the other way around, it cam by way of songwriting, and successful recording, but then with Covid, poetry took off, but I've learned a lot.since, I love the way you came to the crunch line, it almost became obvious, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
-
Thanks so much, Roy :-). This is a highly fictionalised (and obviously very interpretative) version of reality, and in reality the epiphany came much younger, but it felt like a good representation of how it felt... I'm talking myself in knots now, lol. I'm glad you enjoyed the read, my friend.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, this is a very lyrical story. One comment if I may. I think you need to include in your story the words find it. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
|
Wow, this is a very lyrical story. One comment if I may. I think you need to include in your story the words find it. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
-
Thank you, Iza :-). I'm so glad you liked this one! I have double checked and it just says the character must find something that affects them, so I think I'm okay without the specific words. I do really appreciate you caring enough to mention it, though :-)
Comment from emajor942
Beautiful piece of writing! Excellent vivid imagery and relatable to lots of creatives. Great use of words too! I enjoyed reading it - thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
|
Beautiful piece of writing! Excellent vivid imagery and relatable to lots of creatives. Great use of words too! I enjoyed reading it - thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
-
Thank you :-). This felt as much like poetry as prose, but that was my intent so it made sense at the end. I'm so glad you liked it!
Comment from tfawcus
A piece laden with rich language and poetic imagery. I liked phrases such as the bloodshot reflection of my pointlessness and
a yolk of thought. A little overwritten, perhaps, but you describe the epiphany well.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
|
A piece laden with rich language and poetic imagery. I liked phrases such as the bloodshot reflection of my pointlessness and
a yolk of thought. A little overwritten, perhaps, but you describe the epiphany well.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
-
Thank you :-). It's definitely overwritten, but it was done consciously, at least - I wanted it to play into the poetic revelation at the end. So glad you liked it!
