Parent's Day
100 Word Fiction story contest5 total reviews
Comment from Patty Palmer
"DUH!!" This is a cute story and the ending is a real surprise. I wasn't looking for an ending like that and when I read it, I laughed my butt off. Then, of course, I had to tell everybody what I was laughing at and then they all started laughing. Nice work and thanks for the smile!
Patty
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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"DUH!!" This is a cute story and the ending is a real surprise. I wasn't looking for an ending like that and when I read it, I laughed my butt off. Then, of course, I had to tell everybody what I was laughing at and then they all started laughing. Nice work and thanks for the smile!
Patty
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Patty. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you and everyone had a chuckle at this silly piece. Have yourself a great rest of your weekend.
=]
Ron
Comment from LisaMay
I enjoy a good pun, and you have worked your story nicely to arrive at this parent's observational comment to another member of the audience.
I wonder why the kid wanted A instead of B... probably a pushy little bugger always wanting to be first and get his own way, will grow up to be another trump.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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I enjoy a good pun, and you have worked your story nicely to arrive at this parent's observational comment to another member of the audience.
I wonder why the kid wanted A instead of B... probably a pushy little bugger always wanting to be first and get his own way, will grow up to be another trump.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Yep, that was why. He just wanted to be first. Little brat. Haha. I've had this dumb idea in my head for a couple weeks and wanted to use it in a site contest but it didn't match any unless I wanted to wait until a year from now for them to vote. I'm glad you liked this silliness. Have a great day, J.
=]
Ron
Comment from Kayte Ray
this is cute
I love the play on words
you set a scene that most of us can relate to in order to reveal your discussion to the reader, well done. I really appreciate your piece
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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this is cute
I love the play on words
you set a scene that most of us can relate to in order to reveal your discussion to the reader, well done. I really appreciate your piece
Comment Written 17-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much for the kind review, Kayte. I really appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked this silly piece.
Comment from SimianSavant
This is a good short story pun -- remove the last line to make it funnier. Talking about laughing always ruins the laugh. It's like those awful stock laugh tracks on the old comedy shows. I'm sure you can put those extra five words to good use elsewhere, describing the assets.
Thanks for the read! Best,
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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This is a good short story pun -- remove the last line to make it funnier. Talking about laughing always ruins the laugh. It's like those awful stock laugh tracks on the old comedy shows. I'm sure you can put those extra five words to good use elsewhere, describing the assets.
Thanks for the read! Best,
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Thank you, D. I thought about that already but didn't go that rout. Another reviewer said to mention that the kid's actually holding the B. Maybe that's where I'll put it in. I'm glad you liked this silliness.
Comment from lancellot
Huh? Wait, oh I get it. The beauties are the two teachers. I think you should have or tell the readers that the boy who is crying and the teachers are working with is the one actually holding the letter 'B'
Just a suggestion.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Huh? Wait, oh I get it. The beauties are the two teachers. I think you should have or tell the readers that the boy who is crying and the teachers are working with is the one actually holding the letter 'B'
Just a suggestion.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Yeah, I'll have to get that in there. Thank you for the great review and advice, Lancellot. I guess without the picture, it wouldn't make much sense. I appreciate the stars and help.